Irate here, and BM playing very dirty games!

[deleted account] ( 9 moms have responded )

I think she (BM) has lost it. She is completely acting out of desperation this weekend. The local sheriff deputies present at her unannounced/unplanned pick up after 9 months of no Parenting Time (her choice), told her there are no signs of abuse/neglect. She warned of a call to CPS w/in 10 min of arriving, before the authorities were called. (She was supposed to go to the dept first, not my house)
Upon arriving in HER county, she calls the local authorities there to have them assess the children for abuse. They tell her to take them to the children's hospital for doctor's to do a physical exam on all 3, especially the 5 yo bc she had a "diaper rash".
We were able to get in contact with the social worker (staffed by children's hospital) to talk with her. She did let us know that there is no evidence of abuse, and that the children seemed uncomfortable and did not want to talk to the staff members.
She gave a few different ideas of where she was going to take the children - we do not know her real address still... just found out she moved last July (???).
Earlier, my husband called me to letmme know that CPS was now being involved and the most specific allegation is that he throws the 5yo against the walls and furniture bc he hates her. WTH???
She also informed him that she will not be releasing them to him come Sunday at 6:00 pm.
Now, I have done some research and found the state codes/definitions to go along with this. What she is doing not only isn't against court orders (falsifying reports to CPS and coersing the children to say false statements), but it is a crime. It is called "Custodial Interference". She has been warning my husband that she will put him in jail, no matter what it takes for the past 2 weeks, nearly every day.
We now have to hire an attorney, file for an Exparte Order to pick up the children, file a Rule to Show Cause, and possibly bring in witnesses... Not to mention deal with CPS for the next 30 days!
It was 3 am b4 we went to bed, I am mentally exhausted right now, still in a panic attack from last night - because she is relentless! I now fear for my biological children's well-being as well as my step-children. My family expanded from 2 to 6 from the time I met my husband in 2005 to 2008... They are all MINE and this crazy BM is doing all she can to destroy our reputation, the minds of her children, and the comfort that my family has had for 9 consecutive months!


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Bri - posted on 09/21/2011




DCFS gets tons of calls about CPS, sothey should prosecute everyone for calling in unsubstiating all the other reports? they usually unsubsiate unless they find a history of abuse or neglect

[deleted account]

Transition is hard for the little ones. You are doing great by being patient and letting them ease back into their regular home life. It's even harder when BM is openly badmouthing you guys.

Larissa - posted on 09/20/2011




Wow... I think you and I should go out to lunch, lol, we are so alike! I am literally watching my SDs attitudes go down the drain the longer they are with their mother!!! It's horrible, but fell blessed that the judge did not believe the cps thing. I was happy when the judge did the same thing for me. You should read my post, Im going through some similar things. Its not easy. Can you get her in trouble for falsifying a report?

Megan - posted on 07/16/2011




Hope you get some rest and but blinders on, i usually take a warm bath and lite some candles it helps relaxing through alot of drama.

Bri - posted on 07/16/2011




hey what happened here? where did you go ? you left without saying bye if you ever read this :(

[deleted account]

I was calm last night, until I spoke with the principal this am. Now I am nervous only bc we just aren't sure of her motives. We do want her involved in the childrens' lives. They love her unconditionally - as any child does their parent. None of them mind the fact that they were taken to the hospital by her. At this point, they are just happy she has seen them again.
The 8yo is back to being angry all the time. When I picked them up from school yesterday, he was beating up the "step-twins" the whole way home. Then refused to come in the house for his punishment - sit training. (sit in a chair for like an extended time out)
The 6 1/2 yo is back to thinking he can get away with a dirty mouth, ignoring me, running around the house like a wild banshee...
And, the 4 1/2 yo... she is mean to her sisters now (really has never been mean to the youngest), needs lots of hugs, screams "I WANT (BM's name)!!!", has nightmares all night long, cries until she falls asleep... It is hardest for her.
The boys have gone through the actions already - Mommy being around, then gone for an extended time, then back again. This is the first time that my SD is dealing with the overwhelming emotions of missing and loving her mother. She wants to obey her... She is supposed to be mean to the 2 1/2 yr old and 6 yo girls. We are trying to teach her that she can love and respect BM, but she can not - and will not carry on this attitude and negative actions. (The hardest part is her personality is identical to BMs anyways... so it is hard!) Gimme a week, and she should be calmer and nicer again. She is going to start with the time outs for her negativity today if it continues. Yesterday was a freebee I guess you could say.
All the hard work over the past 14 months is out the window! I fear grades slipping, bullying to pick back up full time, and less respect. I don't like fearing that my work is for nothing! I don't like worrying that even my youngest is going to suffer. My 6 yo girl is already on edge defending her self and space. She remembers what to expect. My 10 yo is working harder to keep chores completed and Daddy and I happy.
(My children only know this Dad - he is the only father involved in their lives, and the BD of the youngest... plus my 3 SKs. We have custody of all of the kids - his and mine. I have been raising the boys for 5 1/2 yrs, and SD for 3 yrs...)
This IS my family and my life, and it is time to work super hard again to regain the respect and order I had before 6:00 pm this past Friday...

[deleted account]

I know I am not the only one who goes through this... Thank you for sharing your story! My husband is realizing that his ex is not over him at all. She is remarried, has another child with her new husband, and is possibly expecting again!

I am happy to say that CPS has already told us they are unsubstantiating the allegations bc she was coaching the children on what to say. She did not try to keep them sunday night...
However, she still went against orders from the court.
I don't know what makes me more upset:
The kids are all defiant and hateful acting right now; She is telling them she will be going to their school(s) to meet teachers and find out information about us; how she told them it doesn't matter if they come and see her on Easter or not, she will give them Easter Baskets on Easter...; or the fact that she will be relentless until court date (which we should know by the end of the week).

Tammy - posted on 04/10/2011




While we don't have custody of my Sk's, their BM pulled a similar stunt a few years ago. My husband and I had split up for a couple of months. She was thrilled. She was jealous and hated me from day one! It's not my fault she still loves him and won't get over him after all these years even though she is remarried. Anyway, after my husband and I reconciled, she called him every day threatening him! Being nasty. She said that he needed to worry about his real family! Then she told him that she would make sure that he didn't get the kids for the summer. (It was right before his scheduled summer visit.) She then went and filed a false report of me abusing the kids. Saying I threw them around and called them names. My SS was already bigger than me at the time! She stated that she didn't want me at their dad's house. Excuse me but it's my house too! Thank goodness the judge saw through her lies, she can never keep them straight anyway! I know it stinks. Good luck to you and may the authorities see the truth! Hugs!

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