Need Advise.....

[deleted account] ( 8 moms have responded )

Okay..so My Fiances BM of Triplets is not allowing him/us to really see his kids. She is going against what is said in the papers that the court ordered and is doing things just in spite of him. Here recently the BM has not been allowing anyone but MY fiance pick up the babies and she will only let the babies come over if he is there the entire time that they are over. He works full time and over time to pay his child support and other bills. He doesnt have but maybe one day a week totally off. The papers that the court ordered and what they had agreed on is that if either parent cannont be with the child when it is their time with the child, then the grandparent can provide care for them until the parent is available. she is not allowing this to happen. she will not let their grandmother watch them til he gets off work. she will not let me see them either. She will not let them leave her apartment to come over unless he comes and picks them up. in the papers it said that grandparents can handle transportation if the parent is unavailable to do so. she is completely going against the papers and we dont know what else we can do besides set a court date to figure all this out. we have tried talking to her and everything. PLEASE GIVE SOME ADVISE!!

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[deleted account]

Thank you guys so much for your advice. I really appreciate it! :) It will do good for the future :)

Kristy - posted on 03/26/2010

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police. breach off court orders. dont stress cause it happens all the time. just go back to court to fix the orders up. and when it is your turn for the angels you should go pick them up and if she wont allow it then call the police to escort the children into your care. technically you are the step mummy and you have rites too. she is breaching her court orders and she is the one in the wrong. keep a secret diary about all her breaches and write every detail down so there is proof for the lawyers in case she is bull shitting and to make things easier on your side, get a witness not your fiance to sign the decleration you have made to prove they have witnessed a breach. even the cops when you pick them up! life can be hard when your a step parent but it can get easier too! good luck!

Sheryl - posted on 03/25/2010

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I agree with calling the cops but not all states will make her hand over the kids. i would file a police report though that is what we have to do and we havn'e seen the kids in a year. we go to court soon so she will have alot of explaining to do. I would also follow the wdvise of the journal, i would also keep phone statments and such to prove u are calling and such its very time consuming but when u are in front of a judge withh all kinds of documentation and the other has nothing how is that going to look.

Janan - posted on 03/24/2010

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I agree with others, we have had similar things here, bottom line is, if she is in contempt of court, enforce the order. In fact the judge ordered that I am allowed to pick up child on court ordered days if Husband cannot & I can watch her whether Husband there or not, bottom line is I can do what needs to be done to collect & drop off child & I have a copy of court order with me whenever I go to collect the child, the cops will handle it if they Bm refused to hand over a child against court order & a new court date should surely be filed right away

Lori - posted on 03/22/2010

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if it is in the court paper there is not a thing she can do to stop it, in fact if she does you can call the cops and they will take the kids from her and bring them to you. she can't change a court order just to try to piss you off. CALL THE POLICE! she is in violation of a court document. Judges really frown upon when people don't follow court orders. so also make a date with the judge to explain what has been happening. Document everything. she is only screwing herself. you can go get the kids and there is no way she can stop you. and if she tries get the cops involved. that will look real bad on her in front of the judge. that is what i recommend you do.

she is not above the law and not above the court documents. she has to follow them jsut like you guys do.

stay strong and fight this. you will win. she needs to grow up and start thinking about the kids and what is best for them. keeping them away from their family is very bad and very wrong. she is making alot of major mistakes. i bet you could get custody of the kids.

keep a journal and write down everything that is said , done, dates times, everything.

take care, stay strong and fight for your rights. i hope it all works out for you guys

Carrie - posted on 03/22/2010

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She is in contempt of court, plain and simple. You need to call your husbands laywer and ask him what needs to take place. I don't agree with Jessica to call police, because they will not do anything, they will only tell you that you can't take the child away from the home he resides in. My husbands ex did this to us and she could do nothing, just as if the child was in your care that she could not come over and take the child from your home. I do think you should write down dates and times of this happening and then when you go in there you're prepared for it. There's nothing you can do really unless you go to court.

[deleted account]

You should file contempt of court charges on the grouds that the bm is not following the court order. Then you willg et a court date and the bm will be ordered to follow the original order. If she gets enough warnings from the judge they may even change the order to give you more time. I know it's a long and stupid process, but I think (besides what Jessica said) it's the only thing you really can do...

Jessica - posted on 03/19/2010

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Every time she is going against the court papers go to the police station and file a report so it will be on record. Make a court date so ya'll can get everything settled. and if the dad/ grandparent is suppose to pick them up then call the cops and have them come to where ever it is and she has to give the children to the dad/grandparent!! I know its so wrong for her to do this but its just what we have to put up with. I hope everything works out for the best. and I know its all a little extreme but thats just one more thing that happens in our lives!!!

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