step mom's

Charity - posted on 11/20/2008 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I have the worst time with my step son we have full custody of him and of course he hates me because Im not his mom...exact words. How do I get thru to a kid who doesnt listen to me and does anything in his power to get me in trouble with his dad, and constantly we fight about him

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Debbie - posted on 11/20/2008

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Hi, you and your partner need to unite as one. Your step son needs to learn doesn' matter what you say your partner will back you on it. If by chance your partner doesn't agree with you then he needs to talk to you about it alone and then if anything needs changing you should be the one to change it. As for hating you I really doubt that he does he just probably doesn't know how he should act towards you. The fairy tales teach us to hate our step mothers, don't they?

Kimberly - posted on 11/20/2008

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First, don't react to him. I became a step-mom to an 11 year old boy, it wasn't easy. But I didn't treat him any differently than my own daughters, and I wouldn't let him get away with any more or less in my home. You don't have to "get through" to him, he just has to know the ground rules and follow them, be consistent and what comes comes... I put the rules for our entire family on the wall, including consequences and rewards. Good luck! I know it's hard, but what they have to realize is your home, is your home, and there are rules regardless.

NOTE: I also take special time with each of our kids, my two girls and my step-son all get independent time with me and I try to keep that going even when I'm busy. It does make a difference.

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