Help..My new husband does not treat my children the same as his own

Christy - posted on 03/19/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )




How do I get my new husband to treat all the children equally? I understand that his kids hold a higher place with him but he expects me to treat his kids the same way I do mine but he wont do the same. He sets diffrent rules and diffrent expectations for the diffrent sets of kids and I don't think that it is fair. Any suggestions???


Ashlee - posted on 03/20/2012




hey, i am married now and we have 4 kids between the both of us. i have two from my past relationship and he has one from his past relationship and one of our own. i know exacly what you meen. i know my husband loves me very much and he loves my boys as well. we try our best to treat all kids the same and fairly of course different age groups mean different rules and privaleges. our boys are 1 month 2yrs and 3yrs and 6 . but as far as him treating his differently. i can relate. to be honest i think its just more of a natrual thing and he probly doesnt mean it (not in a negative way) . like i said we both try to treat them al the same but ither way here and there i well get upset and ask "why are you letting him get away witrh that? when you well get upset with jacob for the same thing?" it upsets me and then ill feel bad for my son. but none the less a couple times i have caught myself doin the same thing. and not even noticed until after. i think it can be hard, you know with your own children you have bonded with them at much different level . and with a step child you havent had that naturally love for them or bond that only a mom or father can have and understand with their own child right fromt he begining of a pregnancy. you guys just need to work together as parents and not against eachother other wise problems can occur and esculate

(you also dont want one child to feel less loved then another) i guess its a bit hard for me to explain..

i love my husband and cant stand his x she has caused more problems then youd know.

and i think that made it hard for me to start to form a relationship with his son . i naturally do not want a thing to do with her or anything. and of course shes his mom so hes a big part of her. being a step parent can be hard just because its not your biological child and there is another parent to be present so theres guidelines for you and that child as far as respect for their other parent and rules of what may be ok for you to do or not to do. some subjects wont even be your buisness. and for me i cant stad that . we still have problems with his x all the time . but i have now started a nice decent bond with my step son . and i enjoy it. as well i feel our whole family is closer now as well.

some people cant do the step parenting ,.... i have had friend actually tell me she left her boyfriend of 2years becuse she cant do the step parent bit. so some can and some cant i guess. if you guys love eachother you really need to work togeether and be on the same page if not it wont work out in the end. and you both need to have respect for each others children. i wish you godd luck becuse i know it can be alot harederthen some understand it to be.

1 Comment

View replies by

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms