Stubbornness : ?

Mary - posted on 08/10/2010 ( 1 mom has responded )




i am not sure how to handle this situation .I have been with my boyfriend almost 10 yrs . We kind of went through it with my Daughter in her early 20's .and a little with my step Daughter in her not quite teen yrs. Here is the problem ....My son is so stubbern with my boyfriend . We try to tell him COMUNICATION , the key.... he is 22yrs old and just doesn't get it or should I say don't want to... my boyfriend is a tough nut ,but has been a very good roll model ,caregiver . loves my son and my son doesn't want to listen or do as asked , only what he wants to do .Granit I use to baby him .do everthing for him and I see now that didn't help him by being that way so i had to cut the cord to sort of speak .. Justin has his car in N.Y . broke ,but suppose to be getting it fixed bu car has really bad issues have tryed to tell Justin to sell it and everyone else has to ,but he won't.. While here john asked to get prices on a part to a car here and justin ordered it but hasn't asked John if part is in yet . if it was they would talk about the next step . but Justin won't ask and justin was asked to check on car Insurance in the mean time . ( get a couple of quotes ) Justin won't . He says till they get the part for the car then he will. I finally had to step back and see what is going on I use to defend my son all the time , and me and John would fight about it .and not back John up but I not really sure if its john . I have made my self sick of all that is going on. We had asked Justin to call John to ask if he'd pick him up and bring him home from work every day , We own our Own bussiness and John looses track of time and just needs to be reminded to know where he needs to be at a certain time. Justin doesn't and never has had to much communation with John . John has tryed but Justin has always seemed disintrested . John knows he is not his dad ,for the most part don't push it . but if he is or has taken on the responsibability of being the other parent cause the other "parent wouldn't . John is trying to teach Justin communication and he won't.. but I don't know what to do anymore ... has any one else had problems with their children have issues with their partner ... Any Advice..Mary


[deleted account]

Responding a little late, but...

Your son is 22 years old and doesn't need to be "parented" (so-to-speak) anymore. He needs to be treated as an adult and to take responsibility for himself. If he doesn't want to communicate, then he really can't be forced. The most you can do is be nice, show you care and hope he comes around. My little brother was standoffish to the entire family about that point in time too. We just let him do his thing and he turned out ok (he's 27 now).

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