Feeling so guilty

Alaina - posted on 07/10/2009 ( 7 moms have responded )

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I'm taking a difficult summer course and working part time 3rd shift. I'm feeling guilty whenever I am spending time sleeping or doing my homework because I feel that it is time that I could be spending time with my daughter. I know everything I am doing is to give her a better life and her father loves spending the time with her (we are married) but I feel guilty that I am not spending the time with her. I don't know if I was spoiled by staying home with her for 6 months or if all moms feel this way.

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Valerie - posted on 07/29/2009

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Oh I think we all go through that at some point or another. It is a lot of work! Try not to feel too guility you can only do your best :)

Verite - posted on 07/28/2009

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well i also feel like abit gilty am resuming my studies next month and i feel lke i dont have any more time with her

[deleted account]

I think that guilt is a constant companion of all mothers...we always "should" be more, and do more, and love more and give more....but we only have 24 hours in each day, and we only have 2 arms.

I was in school this past year, and my son was born over thanksgiving, so I was back in class when my son was 6 days old. I tried to breastfeed as long as I could, and I felt so guilty if I gave him formula that I would not leave him for more than 3 hours until he was 5 months old.

Guilt puts so much stress on you, and since we're all in school, we already have enough stress. You said yourself that you are going to school to give your daughter a better life. You love her and want the best for her. I really believe that if we take care of ourselves first, we can take care of others better. You gave her 6 months, and I know you want more, but just treasure every moment (even the poopy diapers and the midnight feedings) and she will know that you love her.

Brandy - posted on 07/24/2009

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My children are 13 and 9 and I'm going to school full time and working full time 3rd shift so I completely understand where you're coming from. sometimes it feels as if you never get to see them. I know that when the kids are in school the main time I get to see them is when I'm taking them to school and that's it. It's great that you have your husband there to be with your children and supporting of you while you're in school, not all of us are lucky to have that. Feeling guilty for not being there all the time with your kids is normal though, just keep in mind that it's not a permanent thing. It will give you even more drive to get through school knowing that once you're out of school you'll have more time to spend being a mom rather than student.

With you being in school and showing the commitment to your work you're also showing your daughter that she can do it as well...I know my daughter has turned it into a competition with me to see who can get the highest grades, it's not only helped her in school but also helped me as well by forcing the best of us out there.

Flo - posted on 07/19/2009

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Hi , I'm new to Circle of Moms and so glad to be here. I am in grad school and guilty about time away from my 2 boys. Thanks for the candid advice, knowing that its for the good of us all makes it a lot easier. Thanks again.

Shannon - posted on 07/11/2009

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I agree all moms feel that way. I go to school full time and work full time so i dont get much time with my daughter either. Just remember that all your hard work is for her and she will love you no matter what,you will always be her supermom!!

[deleted account]

I think all moms feel this way at one point in time (whether it's because of work, school or other activities). For me, i have always felt guilty when i leave her (whether for an hour or a week!) but you have to just keep telling yourself that by making you a better person, your going to make her life better. This applies specifically with school work! Your success in school is not only showing her good academic values (which she is likely to mimic) but also providing a stepping stone for a better future for your family!

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