I'm almost 18, i have 1 daughter and my boyfriend (not her dad) wants to have a baby with me?

Cassandra Hope - posted on 03/03/2011 ( 9 moms have responded )




Im still in school He loves my daughter like his own, and he wants us to have a baby, i don't know if im ready yet i want to make him happy and i would like another baby but im s confused about this. what do you think?


Kristy - posted on 03/04/2011




Since you are not quite 18, Im assuming you are still in high school... With that being the case, while you are juggling school and possibly a job as well, where do you think you will find the time to raise two babies? How long have you and this guy been together? My first reaction is that since you are confused, then you already know your answer... wait! If he loves you then he will wait as well, and hopefully marry you before you decide to bring another baby into this world. Raising and caring for one child is expensive enough, do you really have the means to properly raise/provide/& take care of two? What if you get pregnant with twins? Then your looking at taking care of 3 children. My advice is to go to college, get a degree, and find a job where you can provide for your daughter if anything were to happen between you and your boyfriend, put your daughter first and her best interests ahead of your boyfriends... Good luck!


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Danielle - posted on 04/10/2011




And one more thing. Don't do something like this to make ANYONE happy unless it is yourself and you are completely sure. The idea of a baby may make him happy, but he doesn't know what it is like to be around a pregnant significant other, or to raise his own child. You don't have any obligation to make anyone happy except you and your daughter. Other people who love and respect you should understand that. And if he threats to leave or keeps pushing the issue he isn't worth your time hun.

Danielle - posted on 04/10/2011




My automatic response is do not do it. Yes you are confused, you are young. Make your daughter your priority. Do what is best for her, and then you. What reasons does your boyfriend have for wanting a kid right away? I am currently in college, working and pregnant, and it wasn't planned, and I am having twins. I will never call it a mistake but knowing I have to be a full time student and work and have 2 babies and raise them to be good people in a big scary world, even with my supportive boyfriend of a year and a half and help from my parents I know it is going to be very very hard. I strongly believe you should wait. If this guy really does love you and wants to have a baby with you then he can wait until you are both financially stable and ready and hopefully older, wiser with more life experience behind you. He can show you he has the potential to be a good father but treating you and your daughter well, and respecting your wishes on children and respecting that you want to wait awhile. As you know with one child it isn't a decision you can really go back on, and you need to stand your ground and do what you know is right. I wish you the best of luck.

[deleted account]

i'm not being mean but you did ask for opinions... I think it would be incredibly impractical at this point in your life. You aren't with your 1st childs father so what makes you think this guys is sticking around? If he is then no reason not to get married so tell him to wait! I am 23 and me and my hubby have 2 kids and I wish we had both finished school first. I didnt have my 1st until 20 and both mine were planned and have the same father who I am with and it is still hard. You dont have a time limit on having kids so get into a better place in your life first. get ur first potty trained and finish school get married that sort of stuff. good luck.

when i say finish school i mean not just high school GO TO COLLEGE so you can have a career

Rose - posted on 04/05/2011




simple, talk it out with him, tell him how you feel about it, i'm sure that if its meant to be then he'll wait til your sure that your ready.

Meenakshi - posted on 03/31/2011





Nicole - posted on 03/26/2011




It doesn't sound practical at this stage in your life to think about having baby #2 yet, as wonderful as new babies are. If you want to be successful you can't put yourself in a more challenging situation, raising two children at such a young age, to make someone happy. Happiness is passing, and it will disappear if you put too much stress on yourself and your family.

Amber - posted on 03/26/2011




It depends on your situation...seriously think about the practicality of having a second...are you going to be able to provide and better yourself by going to college...what if things happen between the two of you after having the baby and then you will have to provide for two instead of one...and like kristy said there is the possibility of having twins

your only 17...if it were me i would tell him that you are waiting until you are steady with an income that can provide..good luck with your decision and i wish you the best with whatever one you choose :D

Sarah - posted on 03/03/2011




How long have you guys been together? Do you think you are ready to have another baby? Can you support to have 2 children? What about schooling? like are you done yet or planning to go to college? You haven't really explained your situation that well.

If your only 18 I'd say just hold off for awhile, i was 19 when i had my daughter and her father took off when i was pregnant but i have since found a great guy who has stepped up to the daddy plate and we've been together for 2 years, we both wouldn't mind having another child but once we really thought about it were still young, i have goals i want to accomplish like college and i want to work for at least 2 yrs before i have another...so were more thinking in practical terms then just what we want.

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