Same School as Son

[deleted account] ( 16 moms have responded )

In the fall, my son will be a freshman in the small high school I teach in. I'm concerned about the transition (for both of us). Any suggestions?

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Patricia - posted on 02/06/2009

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My son is in his second year of high school at the school where I have been teaching my entire career. His freshman year he avoided me for the first few months. Eventually he he became more confident and started to come around a little. This year he and his friends hang out in my room at lunch. I was a little concerned about his friends coming over to my house but it has all worked out. They seems to be able to seperate my roles and allow me my "Mom" hat and "teacher" hat.

Reingard - posted on 02/06/2009

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As long as you are not actually his teacher it should be fine. I've had both my children as my students at a small Montessori school, but by the end of 5th grade my son was really ready to be apart from me...

User - posted on 02/02/2009

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Nicole,  I have taught two of my own children so far (thier choice, not mine.) I teach in a private school where teacher preferences are allowed.  In the first instance, having my fifth grade son be with me all day to see what I do that makes me so tired, impatient, burned-out, or whatever formed in him a new level of respect for his mom.  In him, I believe it has encouraged a stronger work ethic and pride in his own hard work and achievements.  As for the second son?  The jury is still out since we are only two-thirds of the way through.  He is a completely different personality, and it has been a challenge for both of us.  Best advice?  Let a spouse or close family member or friend advocate or communicate with your co-workers about emotionally charged concerns over your son's conduct, work habits, grading conflicts or anything that could potentially cause future strain for you and him at work.  It is hard to separate being mom from being coworker at the same school with the same teachers.  I know!!



 

User - posted on 02/01/2009

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Last year I taught my daughter. I am the only 7th grade English teacher, so she had no choice but to have me. She was worried that I would spy on her/not respect her privacy, etc., but eventually she realized that I was only treating her like any other 7th grader. We had some awkward moments, at times, but we survived. The hardest part on both of us was everyone, including other teachers, telling me all the things she did wrong. I explained to everyone that I did not want to know what she did unless it was an offense that would warrant a parent phone call for any other student. After the first grading period, things settled down for both of us. While we had both dreaded the year, I think now that it is behind us, we actually enjoyed the closeness. Yes, I did remind her to get her books. Yes, she did come to me for money. Yes, I heard way more than I wanted to about/from her friends. But we survived!

User - posted on 02/01/2009

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When i started teaching my son was in 3rd grade. He is now in 5th. I have been in same school for these few years and he loves it. Now I am sure it is different for Jr. high and high school students.

My concern is him having friends over or going to others homes from school. Any one have any kind of problems with this?

marguerite

Tonya - posted on 01/28/2009

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I was in the same building when my son was in the sixth grade and I had to monitor lunch behavior punishments and the other students began to hate me. They could not understand that that was my responsiblity to discipline them and several of them would make rude comments to my son. It was hard for him. The next year a girl student would go up to him and tell him that his mom was a "B", so he would come and say so and so said you were a b and I would tell him to respond to her that it broke my heart and I cried all evening (hahaha) and after a few times it got better and now he is alright with me begin there!

Lisa - posted on 01/28/2009

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My son does like to leave his coat in my room rather than stuff it in his backpack---A couple weeks ago we had a fire drill we knew about it 5 mins before, so we had the kids put coats on. He came running down the hall to get his coat--the alarm went off, and I sent him back to the line for his room. Now he takes his coat! It was a little cold that day! But he does like to leave snacks and drinks in my room for the end of the day.

User - posted on 01/28/2009

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My daughter is a Jounior at the high school where I am at. Just remember that you both need space. Have him always use his locker and not your classroom for storing his books and supplies. Let him know that he is always welcome, like forgotten lunch money, and other things that he may need from you that he has forgotten. I like having the perks of being able to keep an eye out for her, not that she needs it but for the other unruly students in school.

Heather - posted on 01/28/2009

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I'm a teacher, and both of my parents are teachers. My dad was a teacher at my high school, and sometimes it was tough when my friends had trouble in his class. However, I knew deep down he was doing his job and so did my friends. It really wasn't that big of a deal for me...except that boys didn't want to date their coach's daughter. :o)

Bekah - posted on 01/28/2009

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I love teaching at the same school as my daughter.  It is also a block from our house so it is our neighborhood school.  For her it brings a sense of security knowing her mom is there.  i teach Kindergarten and she loves my babies as much as i.

Jane - posted on 01/28/2009

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Hi Nicole,



This year my son started high school.  I teach at the same school and his father is the principal.  Imagine that!  His sisters- twins -graduated in 2000 and their dad gave them their diplomas.



As for your concerns:  First talk to him and ask him what his concerns are.  I know that my son was concerned that his dad or I would be spying on him all the time.  I assured him that I do not have the time to do that.  I am too busy with my own work.  When I pass him in the halls, I don't even look at him.  We, of course, laugh about it later.  Another fear of his was that I would be checking with his teachers all the time.  I do not.  I check his grades on the computer as I did when he was in middle school.  No worries.



Basically, set the ground rules together before you enter the hallowed halls.  He needs to know what you expect and you need to know what he wants.  You are the parent whether in or out of school.



I will offer this though: stay away from him at lunch time.  That is friends' time.  Don't go "watch."  You will want to be that proverbial fly on the wall- resist!



Our girls did not go through all of this.  Either it is a girl/boy thing or just different personalities.



Whatever you decide, best of wishes ; )

Amber - posted on 01/28/2009

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When I was in middle school my mother was a substitute teacher  for about a month.  In the begining I got her settled in her class and would say hello to her.  The she happened to be my lunch monitor also, she packed my lunch and would come and comment on what I would and would not eat, that was the worst to me.  I think setting boundries early is important, trying to keep home and work separate.  My son is in the same school as me (I am in a child care center) and sometimes it is hard (he is 3) because anytime he see's me he runs to me and disobay's the teacher, and when I am assisting in his classroom it is so hard because he thinks he can have special privleges.  I don't know if my stories helped, but I wish both of you the best of luck.

Amber - posted on 01/28/2009

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When I was in middle school my mother was a substitute teacher  for about a month.  In the begining I got her settled in her class and would say hello to her.  The she happened to be my lunch monitor also, she packed my lunch and would come and comment on what I would and would not eat, that was the worst to me.  I think setting boundries early is important, trying to keep home and work separate.  My son is in the same school as me (I am in a child care center) and sometimes it is hard (he is 3) because anytime he see's me he runs to me and disobay's the teacher, and when I am assisting in his classroom it is so hard because he thinks he can have special privleges.  I don't know if my stories helped, but I wish both of you the best of luck.

Kathie - posted on 01/28/2009

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It is really no big deal having a child in the same school. It is nice to see who your child is "hanging" around with and the type of friends. I have had my children in the same school since they were in Kindergarten. My oldest is in the 8th grade and I was sad when she entered 6th grade and left me. My youngest is in the 4th grade and next year is her last year with me. I will then experience the "empty van syndrome" (similar to the empty nest syndrome. I have even considered moving to the middle school so I can be near one of my children. I have found that some students think it is pretty cool for my daughter to have her mom working where she goes to school. I have to be honest that it is sometimes difficult for their teacher to talk to me as a parent instead of a teacher. Don't worry! It will be just fine!

Lisa - posted on 01/28/2009

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My one son is in first grade right down the hall from me ! I love seeing his little face walking down to lunch! But it will be harder with an older child. He may not care that you are around, and would appreciate the space being a freshman. When I was in our other building in 6th gr--with my oldest son down the hall from me, he hated it!! would nver look at me in the hall. Only came to my room when he forgot to have his planner signed. I think being the kid(s) of a teacher your kids already know they have to act different and will need to be treated like everyone else.

Sharon - posted on 01/27/2009

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Hi,
I have been there done that with 2 of my girls, u just have 2 let them know u are their mum and love, but when at school u a teacher and if they r told off my another member of staff u will tell member of staff only tell u if they would tell a parent of any other pupil and if other pupils tell u your child got told off in class[cos they will] just ok Mrs or Mr whoever will tell me if their is a problem. Hope that makes sense x

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