first time teenage mum

Leanne - posted on 11/19/2008 ( 10 moms have responded )




hi im 17 n have a one month old little girl. i found when i descovered i was pregnant alot of my friends didnt want to no and havent really spoke to me. and if they have i have found them saying quite mean things behind my back. i find it quite lonely because although i get along with my partners friends there not the ones i grew up with and thought were my true friends. i was just wondering if anyone else had the same problem with there friends and how do u win them back in affect as it gets me down alot of the time and i can feel quite lonley and worthless even if i do have my best mate who stood by me and my partner n family by my side.


[deleted account]

Leanne dont try n win ur friends back. why would u want ppl like that in ur life neways. clearly they were nvr really ur true friends if they didnt want to stand behind u being a teen mom. i was 17 wen i had my son n im now 20. my friends dont mean nething to me. my child is the most important thing in my life hes all im concerned wit. i really dont understand why so many ppl are so caught up wit wanting to have all these friends wen u have a kid. ur young take the time to enjoy ur child n charise every moment u have. u can always s find new friends but ur main concern should be ur child not ur friends


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Tiajuana - posted on 12/01/2011




yes.had the same problem I am 29 .you can win back ppl that where never really you friends from the get go. Cause they are always going to talk about you behind your back.I know you are lonely.try to find a teen mothers group in your area That helped me and me and one of the yooung ladys are still friends today our kids are two weeks apart.

Laura - posted on 11/26/2011




I'm sorry to hear your friends have reacted that way. Unfortunately it was fairly similar for me, my 'friends' lost interest, and then they went off to uni so I never see any of them anymore. I've made new friends, and I hope to make more new friends, in similar situations to what I am in now, so we have similar interests. It's a shame that they've reacted the way they have, but if they are going to treat you that way then they just aren't worth it. Try and look forward for friends rather than backwards to people who've said nasty things about you.

Flower - posted on 11/26/2011




Hi Leanne,

My name is Sarah. I had my son at the age of 17 as well. You can not "win" your friends back. Some may be ignoring you because they don't understand what you are going through while others may not even be thinking about it because they are to busy being teenagers. The fact is you had a kid young and they did not. They are not in the same boat as you are. You should cherish those who have stuck around but for those who have not it may hurt but you need to move on and focus and you and the baby. Possibly start engaging in activities that will allow you to meet other mothers. Look into your local library, websites such as these, go walk at the park, go to your nearest recreational center. Try to meet your new life style needs and not try to get back to your old needs. Because now you are a mother. Surrounding yourself with other mothers really has a positive effect. You are around people who can relate to certain things you are going through that your previous friends just can not relate to. Just wait when one of them has a child in the future it is possible that they will start communicating with you again. I will be 21 soon and a friend of mine she is 22 and having her first baby soon. And now we are friends once again. A lot of things change when having a child. friends/social life is one of those things that really change. Plus you need to also monitor which friends are suitable to even be around your child and what kind of influence you want around your kid. Its tough. If you need to talk any further about anything you can message me. ^_^

[deleted account]

Oh having a baby really makes you realize who your true friends are. I mean I am not talking to half my friends from school. But the ones that stuck by me are the best ever. I think it is unfortunate that you lose friends that you were so close to, but I think if they are nasty to you now, think it a good thing that you found out now rather than later.


Courtney - posted on 03/12/2010




Hi I'm Courtney I'm 19 almost 20 i have 21month old daughter.. When i got pregnant i was 17.. i have been through alot not wil her father because he was abusive torwards me when i was pregnant and when i wasnt... my parent have custody of her right now only bcause my daughters father wouldnt let them see her until they got temporary custody and i went with my daughter and they went to court to determine if they got full custody.. so i gave them full custody because i wasn't finacially stable and didnt have the health insurance to take her to the doctors but my parents do so thats why... i still take care of her and she is still my daughter but nowshe has insurance to

Britni - posted on 08/10/2009




Hi i'm Britni i'm 19 and i have a 2 1/2 year old son and a 3 month old. When i got pregnant with my son i was 16 and switched schools to a young mothers school and lost contact with a lot of my friends. I do have two friends that i have been friends with since i was born lol that i still talk to. I think most of them just don't understand what we go through and can't relate so they just walk away. I say find some who can kind of relate to you. I have seen that once they get married or start having kids they are more friendly and you kind of go back to each other.

Kym - posted on 06/12/2009




Hi Leanne. I'm Kym, I had my son when i was 15, I'm now 16 and my son is 16 months old. Once i found out i was pregnant i finished my year 9 than i dropped out of school and once my son was born i didnt really talk to any of the people i was friends with at school. when yuu have a bub yuu learn who yuur real friends are. Now 16 months on i still dnt talk to them but ive found a couple of ppl with bubs who i can really relate to. is there any ppl in yuur area the same age with bubs?

Chloe - posted on 04/26/2009




Im 17 and have a 10month old son. I've found it really hard with friends i have the same trouble with some of my friends and with alot of others i've sort of grown out of. Its like i matured so much when i had my son and they're still kids. I still try to have something to do with them but in the end i started finding other young mums in my area and its amazing because of the situation we're both in we click straight away and have so much to talk about, even if we only just met. I was still upset about my childhood friends but alot of them have come around since then and realised its not such a big deal and i think as your childhood friends get older they'll probably do the same. Give it some time and while your waiting try and find some other people that are in the same boat as you that you can talk too.

Rhianna - posted on 01/12/2009




hey.. i am a 18 year old mum. i have a 10 month old baby and gave birth to him 5 days after my 18th bday.. i had the same prob with most of my friends. i may be hurtful but if they are going to treat u like that just because u had a baby then they really arent true friends.. try not to focus on the ones who will treat you bad for being a young mum just focus on the people who cherish you for it.. they are your true friends!

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