how to tell your mum your pregnant at 17?

Alison - posted on 04/23/2010 ( 202 moms have responded )

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hi, I found out i was pregnant two days ago. i was actually extremely excited. despite the shock horror on my bf's face as he saw how my parents would tear him limb from limb lol. the only thing is im 18 in 8 days and weve decided to wait to tell anyone until after then. but im not sure how to break it to my rents. the safest way? obviously we've decided to keep it. your advice is apprieciated



xo

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Tiffany - posted on 04/23/2010

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Hunny i'm gone tell u, when it come down 2 it. there isn't really a easy way 2 tell them and not have them kill u (joke)lol. i have 4 kids by my ex husband and it never got easy lol. but i well tell u this at first it will be hard but it will all come around! I know. i been there. Your life is not over and u can still go 2 school and live life and love. fill free 2 msg me!

Meagan - posted on 04/25/2010

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i got pregnant for my first time at 17 also and had to ponder how to tell my parents. i knew they would be disapointed in me and i was scared. i had so much going for me and i knew they would think i had ruined my life, but i was very excited about the baby. i decided to ask a close family member (my aunty) to come with me and help me tell my parents and reasure them that everything would be alright. but my parents questioned me about being pregnant before i got the chance to bring my auntie over. i told them yes i was pregnant... my dad cryed for the first time id ever seen and my mom was angry and thought i ruined my life. the first few months were rocky with them but when i started to get my belly they became more open to the idea of being grandparents and when the baby was born we all knew it was so right. My parents are in love with my children (i have 2 now and am now expecting child #3) i found out that being a mom is the thing im best at and im glad i started having kids at a young age because when im 25 all my kids will be in elementry school and i can go to school myself or work or whatever i want and im still going to be young enough to do whatever i have my whole life ahead of me still with 2 sweet little boys to make my heart melt every day :) it may be tough at the start but your parents will warm up to it, dont worry. they love you. when you have your baby you will know exactly how they felt because you will wantt the world for your little one too.

Katie - posted on 04/23/2010

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i suggest that the both of you sit you parents down and tell them that you are pregnant and wot you and you boyfriend have decided to, i fell pregnant at 15 and i had to tell them my self because my boyfriend was scared of wot they would do and i could of really used his support so its best that both of you tell them i hope every thing goes ok good luck xx

Erica - posted on 11/14/2011

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I was 17 when I had to tell my parents, I thought all of the worst things, but just remember, you can't change what happened, just prepare yourself for baby the best you can. my parents were not 'excited' at first, but within a month of knowing, everyone was buying a bunch of clothes & stuff for the baby. good luck, i'm sure they'll come around to the idea eventually if they're upset at first. congrats

Alisha - posted on 04/23/2010

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Well when i got pregnant i was 17 also. I had no idea how i was going to tell them but i just went and told them i was pregnant. Yes they were really mad and put me on the guilt trip but the sooner you tell them the better because they will have more time to get used to it. As time went on with me they could not wait until i had my now (6 month) old daughter.. I am now 18 too i would wait until after then and tell them you hope they can stand behind you along the way!

Good luck

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Marissa - posted on 01/05/2012

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you should wait until you have everything planned out. plan a budget and how you intend to care for baby. then when she sees you are being responsible about situation she will be on board! Hopefully, good luck!

Charlita - posted on 01/04/2012

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Wow! I think the best way to approach your parents with this is for you and your boyfriend to sit down with them and be as straight forward as possible. You have to tell them what your plan for taking care of this baby is going to be and how are you going to do it. They will more likely than not be shocked, angry and a slew of other things you probably didn't expect. I can tell you the two most obvious feelings from them will probably be anger and disappoinment. They probably envisioned your future differently and are now going to be scared for how your future will be with a baby on the way. They're also going to want to know who is going to be financially responsible for the care of the baby. No matter how much you think you have planned to convince them of your choice, there is still a lot you're not initially going to be prepared for before and after the baby is born. Good luck and stay strong.

Lori - posted on 01/03/2012

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When you tell them, be prepared to tell them how you intend to take care of it. Are you and your boyfriend moving in together, getting married, do you have insurance to cover the birth? They will ask you these questions and it will help if you have some sort of answers for them.

Rosie - posted on 01/03/2012

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Congratulations on your impeding baby. First you will be 18 on about 8 days. have you and your boyfriend decided on where you will live? This way when you tell your parents about your pregnancy you have a place. They will want to know what your plans are in terms of living arrangement. I say you may wish to have your boyfriends parants there with you for added support when you do tell them. make sure noone is drinking alcohol and you may wish to go out in public place to tell them. good luck keep us posted.

Carmen - posted on 01/02/2012

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just make sure they hear from YOU, neither one of my parents found out from me because of some idiot at school and it made them twice as mad. they will be much happier if you man up and tell them yourself. my mom didnt talk to me for two weeks but i knew i needed help (i advise not waiting) and i told her i was sorry but that i couldnt change anything and that ignoring me wasnt going to help. things are very hard at first but they get better. the sooner you get help and you get it over with the better less stress and more consentration on having a baby. congrats i wish the best for you :)

Samantha - posted on 12/28/2011

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@erin, this wasn't helpful at all!!! Who are you to pass judgement on someone you've never met? This site is to get advice, not to give your very close minded opinion,

Alison I hope you've told your mum and that all is going well:) good luck with your little one, there is nothing more rewarding than being a parent:)

Tracy - posted on 11/16/2011

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my parents are split, so I had to tell both seperatly, they livein 2 different cities. I wanted to have face to face conversations about it. I was also 18 and had a bf that was sticking around. I went to the drs fora cold, and mentioned that I was late, thank god my mom didnt come into the drs office with me, she happen to be talkin to a friend in the waiting room. I mentioned to my mom when leaving, that I had to go to the lab, cuz i might be pregnant. She was fuming mad, 2 days when by though before I could find out for sure, and I think she was able to deal with the idea a little bit better. She quickly turned her attitude around, and went on shopping sprees for baby.
As for telling my dad, that was a little harder for me to do. I confided in my sisters first, who helped me to tell my dad. We were all out together with my grandmother and a few close family friends. My sister who is older then me, was also pregnant, we were due roughly the same time. So she really helped me to break the news. She mentioned about having 2 babies, and of course they thought she was having twins, and then she says No, Tracy is pregnant too. I stared at my dad the whole time, waiting for his reaction. He was very supportive, and hugged me and assured me that everything would be ok. I think the thought of disapointing my dad was the hardest to deal with. After all was said and done, that little girl is now 15, and admired by my whole family! along with her 3 sisters!! I like the letter idea, I have heard of booties and a card. you know your parents best, how do you think they will handle it. I think having a plan, or being ready to answer the questions yoru parents are going to ask will also be good. Also do it together, you have made the choice together to keep the baby, so sharing the news together I think is a good idea as well. Leave it to your parents to tell the rest of the extended family, I think sharing with them is enough, not to mention when you do tell them, it will be a huge weight off your sholders. as for your 18th birthday, play sick...cuz im sure someones going to want you to drink!

Kari - posted on 11/15/2011

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I was 17 when I found out I was pregnant with my first. I found out by trying to get on birth control at the health dept. they gave me at test before I got the shot, and it was positive.. I was terrified and excited at the same time.. I called my parents to tell them (they were at work) I found it easier to tell them over the phone than face to face.. they were devastated but there wasnt anything they could do about it.

Heather - posted on 11/13/2011

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I was in the same exact situation except I found out I was three months pregnant 2 months before I turned 18. As long as you know your family will be there to support you then you should be fine. I graduated 6 months pregnant and my husband and I are both going to college and we both have jobs. My son is now 14 months and I am so proud of him. Good luck though. Raising a child at a young age is tough, but totally worth the sleepless nights. Congratulations!

Heather - posted on 06/24/2010

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ok i was 16 when i got pregnant and 17 when i had my daughter. it was really hard to tell my mom at first.my mom disowned me for two weeks. it was a brutal 2 weeks but then she came around and was excited to have a grand daughter. and to this day my mom is ever more excited to be a grand ma i love my mom. shes my hero. trust me it will work out just some people need more time to calm down and look at the brighter picture then others

Jada - posted on 05/15/2010

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believe me, no matter your age, its hard to tell ur dad that you are pregnant, even if it is a joy filled time, i got pregnant at 20, and even i had a hard time telling my dad

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well there really is no easy way to tell your parents, when i had to tell mine i asked my aunt to come over and help me tell her it help to have a supportive family member on stand by

Chloe - posted on 05/15/2010

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honestly i really wouldnt worry to much... i had to have the cervical cancer injection and i knew i was late on and also my mum did as we always started our periods the same time as each other so we went to the docs together i needed her support as injections just creep me out lol and i said to the doc im late on my period so they did a test it came back negative so i had the jab then 3 weeks later i still hadnt come on so my mum obv said u need to do a test so she asked my dad to pick one up after he finished the shopping he came home and i did it, it said '' PREGNANT 5-6 weeks'' so i showed my dad and he said cool {nervously} then said u better go show ur mum so i waved it in her face and she said well what does that mean {my mums blonde} and then she just kinda jumped up {i thought she was gonna chase me out the house with the lamp she was putting together in one hand and a fag in the other lol but she dropped the lamp {it was brand new just out the box'' it smashed''} and hugged me saying im so happy:D she obv knew the outcome of the test before i even did it so had time to think about it... lol... but i guess what im trying to say is kinda make hints to your mum that your late on then she might get you a test for you to do infront of her maybe you should act dumb and make out you and her both found out at the same time... i think it might make you 2 really close like it did with me and my mum... we were really close before but now we have something in common we both would do anything for our children and its honestly great calling her nanny she loves it xx.. i was 17 when i found out and turned 18 just before i had my son i hope it works out for you as it did with me xxx and sorry for the blabbin lol

Becky - posted on 05/14/2010

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Just say it. At least you will be 18 when you tell them. I was 16 when I got pregnant with my son, and she didn't freak like I thought she would. Give your mom the benefit of the boubt.

Nicole - posted on 05/13/2010

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heylooo am 21 on the 31st may and i had my little boy last may and i cudnt tell my mum for weeks once i told her she woz angry and upset bt after a while she gt used to the idea and now she would neva change him for the world :D x

Ashley - posted on 05/13/2010

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you could wait if you want but the more you put it off the more you are going to want to put it off and you really need to get to the doctor so they can give you the care you need. best of luck to you!! =]

Fallon - posted on 05/13/2010

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I was 17 and 3 months when I fell pregnant. My partner and I told his mum first. We just said it outright. He had to work that night so I told my mum myself. Same sort of thing. Just more emotional.

It depends how your parents act after. For me, I was asked to leave home. Which I did. And everything is going great for me.

Have a plan of what you want for yourself and your baby. Then your parents will see you as more prepared. Rather than you just saying 'hey im pregnant... but i dunno what im gunna do'

LaNieba - posted on 05/11/2010

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well i was 15 whn i got prego(19 now) and i didnt tel my mama she found out on her own....which is not a gud thang so my advice it to just b real with them and just tel thm it betta to hear it from u than to have to hear it from sumone else..or if u cant tel thm sho lil hints so they wil ask u and thn spill it

TERESA - posted on 05/11/2010

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BUT HOW CAN YOU DO IT? ITS HARD FOR ME BECAUSE ITS JUST ME AND MY SON.. AND I DO WANT TO HAVE A BABY GIRL BUT I DO NOT WANT TO GO DO IT AGAIN MYSELF.. WE DO NOT MAKE BABIES BY OUR MYSELF IT TAKE TOO.. HOW CAN YOU LOOK FOR THAT PERSON TO LOVE YOU FOR YOU AND ALSO YOUR BABY?

Kayla - posted on 05/09/2010

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Hi I found out I was pregnant with my first when I was 15 and my mum and mother in law came with me 2 the docs as I was sick all the time and couldn't figure out why. My mum came in the room with me and the doc said that I was 11 wks preg. My mum started crying I was a little shocked. But happy at the same time and no one even questioned me about what I was going to do as it was totally up to me and the babies dad. There is all this stigma out there that teenage parents have no idea. As soon as I held my baby boy in my arms 4 the first time he became my whole world and I needed to make him my first priority. So don't let any ont tell you any different. Jayden is now a healthy and happy little 6yr old. No different than if I had him n my 30's. Good Luck I'm Sure u and your partner will make excellent parents.

Ashley - posted on 05/08/2010

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I found out I was pregnant a month from my 18th birthday. I kept it from my dad until after i turned 18 but I told my mom the day I found out. My mom and I are close so I told her right away. If your close with your mom I would say to go ahead and tell her. She could be alot of help throughout the whole thing. In my opinion the sooner the better.

Kirstin - posted on 05/08/2010

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I was 16 when I got pregnant and a sophomore in school. My mom figured out that I hadn't started and then she started asking questions. I think your best bet is to just sit down with your mom and tell her. She may say that she's disappointed in you because she wanted you to go to college and what not but your pregnant and its a done deal. There is no taking it back. I now have a wonderful 6 yr old son that I would never have taken back. My mom helped me finish school and everything. Parents get over things just like we do and if they don't they are the ones missing out but you need to go to the doctor and get checked out to make sure you and the baby are healthy

Hannah - posted on 05/08/2010

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when i found out i was 19 it will be hard i couldnt say it to my parents i told my mum in a text message and then started crying my ours out when i hit send just tell them its what you want.
Good Luck XO

Leah - posted on 05/08/2010

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When I found out I was pregnant at 15 I was really scared about telling my mum. I wrote her a letter because I thought it might be easier to read than to hear... I did try telling her but i couldn't find the words and i couldn't take the look of disappointment that would go on her face knowing that my words caused it. My mum means the world to me and it killed me to upset her. And i would say that your boyfriend shoudln't be there when you tell your parents. I know its nice to have the support but its matter for you and your parents to discuss and having your boyfriend there may aggravate things hope that helps xx

Leanna - posted on 05/07/2010

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i got pregnant on my 18th birthday and was just starting my senior year in highschool, my mom had gone through this once before with my older sister who had gotten pregnant at 15 i was scared to tell my mom but when i did it lifted a huge weight off my shoulders, just let them know that you are are just as scared as them and let them know that you really need their support, i did that with my mom and laid my head on her shoulders and cried, but i also had to tell them that the guy that had gotten me pregnant left me when he found out, she cried with me and held me, i then knew she was really upset but she would be there for me no matter what, 3 months later i bought my step-dad a christmas present, i had a pocket watch engraved, one side said dad and the otherside said grandpa, it was the first time i had ever seen him cry, i thought he was still upset with me but i soon found out that he was crying because he was happy, he was proud of me and the decision i had made to keep the baby because now he was going to be a grandpa, my daughter turns 2 next week and we went to visit them earlier today, he was playing with my daughter and looked at me and said im so glad you made me a grandparent i dont know what i would do with my little sara doodles (thats what he calls my daughter sara) so even though the timing wasnt right, my parents couldnt be happier with my little girl so just remember they may be upset for now but in the end they will be so happy and love you and your baby more than anything in the world

Amy - posted on 05/07/2010

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i fell into that same situationn... except my boyfriend was the one excited haha i'm 26 weeks now and finally turning 18 in 2 days... when i told my mom of course she was upset but now she's excited about it... i found it easier to just tell her straight up rather than dealin with the stress of hiding it. but good luck and congrats!

TERESA - posted on 05/06/2010

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WELL! ONE THING IS THAT SHE IS GOING TO FIND OUT. YEA SHE IS GOING TO BE MAD BUT IN A WAY SHE IS GOING TO LOVE YOU AND YOUR BABY.. WHEN I FIND OUT THAT I WAS PREGNANT I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO? THEN DAYS GO BY AND AFTER THAT SHE WAS HAPPY BEING A GRANDMA..

Amie - posted on 05/05/2010

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well i know how that feels, im 17 and i found out i was pregnant like 15 days after i turned 17 and now i have like 5 weeks left till my baby comes, and i was so scared to tell my parents but for some reason i found it harder to tell my boyfriend then anything, just talk to them tell them that your 18 and your decision is your decison and you hope they support your decision, at first they might be upset if you decide to keep it, or if you decide not to , which ever one, but after awhile they learn to except the choice you made and everythings okay :)

Shar - posted on 05/05/2010

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i found out 4 days after my 18th, there is no easy way to tell your parents youve had a kid, from experience my advise would be to talk to your mother 1st, after all she was your age once and she has prob been in the situation before or knows of one of her friends that was at her age.explain to her that your descision has been made and that your ready to take the next step in your life.she will prob bonbard u with questions about how u intend to live but explain that you and your partner r still getting over the inital shock and as a partnership you will both discus it
good luck

Nickole - posted on 05/04/2010

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there is no easy way to tell the people you love that you're pregnant but I would suggest coming up with a game plan for you plan on taking care of your child. It will show your parents that you're willing to take responsibility for your actions(brownie points) oh and try to stay calm when you tell them.

Sierria - posted on 05/04/2010

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i ended up pregnant at 14. i told my mom and she wasnt to happy but by the end of the say she wasnt to worried about it. my dad on other hand i made my mom tell him and he was pretty mad and wantin to beat my babys dad up but let me tell you by the next week he was happy and joking about how big im going to get. its going to be rough at first but no matter what they will get over it!! just sit them down and tell them or maybe even send them both a text or call and tell them...so that way when you get around them they will have already cooled off about it a little. i am 19 and found out i was prego a month ago and i called my parents and told them....it wasnt that bad they werent that upset but this is my second child also. but good luck to you!! and congrats on the pregnany!!!!

Kim - posted on 05/04/2010

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First, let me say, Congrats! It will be a hard, long road from now on. Your bf has to stay strong as well, but you know your parents the best ever. It won't make a difference whether you tell them now or 18 or a couple weeks after you turn 18. You are still young, so regardless they are going to be upset. I got pregnant at 18 years old. My parents were extremely disappointed and upset but they did get over it eventually. Stay strong girl!!!

Angelica - posted on 05/04/2010

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Once your turn 18 theres nothing they can really say. Just tell them in maybe a letter or out at dinner or something.

Alexa - posted on 05/04/2010

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I found out that I was pregnant 2 weeks after I turned 17. I just had my son on February 13th. He is my fiance an I's world now. My parents are divorced so I had to break the news twice it wasn't something I got to do once to both of them. I told my dad first, he was pretty upset and wanted me to really think of all my options. Then I told my mom and she was livid! But after the upset and yelling that happened spur of the moment we settled down and talked. I guess my best advice would be that a child is a lot of responsibility! And parents are going to tell you that so the best thing to do is be responsible and show that to them from the start. You can do that by when you tell them have a plan, where are you going to live? Where are you going to get income to support this baby? If you plan to continue school, who is going to watch the baby? Medical bills, how are they going to be paid for? (babies are not cheap! There is a lot to think about for example the hospital bill just to begin with) Also figure out where are you going to get your prenatal care? That is VERY important! Finally when you have all the answers to these questions when you go to your parents, have your boyfriend with you to tell them. Your going to go through a lot with this person so start now! I can honestly say that my life is great, teen moms can make it! I am. I love my son but I can't say that its easy everyday, there are challenges but we get through them. I know this is long but it all sums up to Show Responsibility! They may not support you at 1st but my parents and fiances parents are extremely in love with our Son. It might be up till the last few months of pregnancy till they come around or even until the day that baby is born and they lay eyes on him or her but you need to be strong for yourself and this baby and start to figure things out. Your not the child anymore your becoming the parents. Sorry this is so long but its reality for me so it hits home pretty well!

Gemma - posted on 05/04/2010

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i was 15 when i fell pregnant and there is no right time or right place just all of you get together and explain that you are pregnant and you want to keep the baby, i must say that you do really need to think about this though its a life changing desion that i wouldnt change for the world but i did miss out on alot and will your partner really be there for you, if he is then great. im just saying are you really ready to settle down, babies are hard work, i hope i didnt put you off just its reality you know! good luck x

Sarah - posted on 05/04/2010

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DID YOU TELL THEM YET? I was 21 when I first got pregnant, so not a teenager but still young. But I had to tell my parents over the phone because I was 2 1/2 hours away from them when I took the test. I was to excited about being pregnant to wait 2 more days till we got home. My mom was excited and my dads response was "how did that happen?" lol But they are your parents and parents usually come around. But let us know if you told them yet!

Jordan - posted on 05/04/2010

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My now husband and I became pregnant at 17, months away from our 18th birthdays. I actually ended up telling my mom first by just handing her the test and didnt say anything. She than said she would tell my dad. The hardest people for me to tell were my siblings and my bf (now my husband). Since your man knows take him with you, it will show to your parents that you both are in the game together. Best of luck to you and your man and that wee one of yours. And know that your parents love you and will always love you even if they dont love your actions.

Jessenia - posted on 05/03/2010

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trust me its hard i got pregnant at 17 and it wasn't easy i told my mom over txt and she kinda didnt speak to me for a week. I would suggest going to your parents and just tell them straight out, its going to kill them inside but eventually they will come around. after all that will be their grandchild, but don't go alone he had part in that to and to show your parents he has matured he needs to face the music and tell them alone side u.

Alyssa - posted on 05/03/2010

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i sen't my mom a txt...I was at my now husbands house and I was 17 and i kinda scared her...i told her i needed my mommy and she was there in a matter of minutes...but I don't know if i would do that cause she about had a heart attack on the way cause she didn't know what was wrong and then when she showed up i held out the pregnancy test and handed it to her...it was alot easier than actually telling her

India - posted on 05/03/2010

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i was pregnant at 17. i simply told my parents "i know you may not approve of this, but i found out that i'm pregnant, and i'm keeping the baby. i hope you can love and support me still"

Nikki - posted on 05/03/2010

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I was 15 when I had my daughter. I nver told anybody until I was 6 months and that was only because my mom had kept track of the tampon box and what was being removed. Telling my dad made it hard because he still thought I was a virgin. My dad came with me to tell my boyfriends mother because he had the calmest nature. This worked well for me and eased some tension. Just a thought, but it won't be easy. Just don't give up on your life and dreams. They will then be your childs life and dreams soon.

Daralee - posted on 05/02/2010

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you can do it a ton of ways the way we did it was my partner just said to my mum guess what your going to be a nana soon on xmas day but i was going to wait till a day when it was just me and her and make her some lunch and stat talking its your mum you will find the right words dont stress to much

Kristen - posted on 05/02/2010

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Me and my boyfriend had to tell both of our parents while we were 15, so basically your lucky.

Elisabeth - posted on 05/02/2010

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there are tons of comments so i didn't read them all but the best advice I could give is you never know how they are going to react. I thought my parents were going to be soo disappointed and be really angry. turns out they were calm, well my mom had a moment but was like ok. my dad was like awesome I can't wait!... it was really funny because I was freaking out and my dad was like its ok we can deal and both have been great about it.

don't think the worst, as long as you act maturely about it and let them know your plans there should be no reason for a big blow up. and if they do just let them calm down because it is a big shock

Kristen - posted on 05/02/2010

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ok well i was in the same position when i was 17 and i made the mistake of running away to tell my mom, and it was a mistake. I should have been open with her cause after i came home she was really helpful and did everything she could to help me. so i would suggest sitting down and talking to her.

Norwina - posted on 05/02/2010

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it's better to tell it to your mom first ...and expect that they will be angry at first but still they will accept that and forgive you ..then mom will help you to break the news to your dad...your dad may not talk for awhile a hug and sorry for you will do a lot ..don't forget to say sorry....sorry coz it's too early but not sorry for having your angel soon.....best wishes!!!!!...i knew that feelings coz i'm been in the same situation ....

Julie - posted on 05/02/2010

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When I got pregnant I waited 2 months before i told my mom, dont do that just come straight out and tell them whats the worse thing they gonna do yell at you and stuff trust me once the yelling is done its easier I was only 16 when i had to tell my mom I was pregnant. have your boyfriend around when you do it so that way it shows he is going to be going threw this with you! good luck I hope everything goes great threw the pregnancy

Sophie - posted on 05/01/2010

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i had to tell my dad at the age of 15 its better to tell her now rather than later u never know she could be really supportive and give u advice on options my dad was there for me as my mum wasnt trust me its easier telling ur mum

Morgan - posted on 05/01/2010

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Great decision! Babies are great! It's not always as fun as it seems but it's worth it! I love my daughter so much!

I was scared to tell my mom too! I was, I think 19 when I told her but i was no where near financially stable! My dad was unconscious, in ICU when I told him. Anyway, to my surprise my mom took it very well. Of course there are times when, if your mom is like mine, she'll get frustrated and call you a few coice names. If this happens, just stay strong and know that you made the right decision because even though you may have messed up and got pregnant, there is no reason in the world to deny an innocent baby the right to live!

Trust me no matter how much your parents freak out, if they do, when the baby is here, they will love it immediately!

Make sure that your bf treats you well while your pregnant, and if he doesn't, know that it's better for you and the baby not to stay in a negitive environment or be around negitive people. I was mentally and physically abused when I was pregnant and it's not good for you or the baby. The baby is effected by your stress.

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