Spanking works

Oliver - posted on 04/13/2010 ( 23 moms have responded )

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I think it's obvious we can all agree to disagree. The fact of the matter is that spanking works better than other forms of discipline for lots of people. So why would you continue to push for that family to use methods that don't work as great just because you don't personally agree with spanking?

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Rhiannon - posted on 05/11/2010

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I would never smack my kids...until I actually had them! My daughter (7 mths) has obviously never been smacked. My son has only on occasion. He is pretty well adjusted to the tne of voice I use and can tell when I am serious.
The only times I have smacked him have been when he is repeatedly done the wrong thing after numorous attempts to stop him in other ways (stern words, talking to etc.) or if what he is doing doesn't lend itself to second chances (stamping on his 2 day old baby sister's neck).
I am a firm believer in returning the favour. He was not smacked when he started biting, he was bitten. Needless to say I have only ever had to do that the once. When he slapped me as hard as he could across the face I slapped him back. Obviously not as hard as I could, but enough to shock him and he has never done it since.
Whilst I do think that smacking can sometimes be the right response, not to hit is something they will have to be taught at some point, and how is it possible to teach them that if they are smacked when ever they do the wrong thing?
I think smacking is much more effective when used very rarely. I was smacked once in my entire life, and I can still remember it very clearly now, despite only being 4 or 5 at the time.

[deleted account]

Only in the the Western part of the world people go crazy when you talk about spanking kids. I dnt care what people say, in Africa and the carribean kids get spanked alot and there are not violent kids. They respect their elders and such. And I dnt think they hate their parents any less. I dnt mines, and I got spanked everyday. And I grew up to be loving and kind. You can't even discipline yours kids like you want to anymore. Without people pointing the finger.

Elisabeth - posted on 06/01/2010

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I think it works but some people take it to far. It shouldn't be banned because of those few people. Only spank your own children of course and in my eyes I think it should only be open hand hit on the bottom or light hit on the hand. And that is after plenty of warning. I tell my daughter not to do something twice (with a strong voice, but not shouting) if she continues to do it, I will warn her, "If you don't stop I will smack you." I don't smack to get her to do something, but rather to stop her from doing something. Everyone has differant ways of spanking, but in my eyes screaming at your children is worse then spanking them as you will always find yourself screaming if you get in the habit of doing it, spanking is not very frequant. Other forms of discipline should be used as well as spanking, such as teach and reward. As I said this is my veiw and how I take care of my children, I am not degrading other peoples ways as long as they don't take it too far, like using an object. My mother used to spank me with a horse whip when I was younger and it left huge welts all over my behind, although I don't dislike her for it or anything I don't think its ok to do that.

Nikki - posted on 05/31/2010

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I am a non smacking parent, I don't force my views on family and friends however I am happy to help them with alternatives if they so wish. After working with children for 10 years and studying child development and behaviour management I have seen the difference positive parenting can make to the whole family.
Anyone interested in looking at positive alternatives to smacking, please feel free to join our community -
Positive Behaviour Strategies
http://www.circleofmoms.com/e_Y_13391

Jessica - posted on 06/12/2010

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I personally believe that spanking does work... but everybody has there own way of parenting... to each is there own :)

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Heyyer - posted on 09/05/2012

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ok,i am a 7 year old girl, and i am from CHINA, when i do something wrong, my mom always spanking me, she means that she wants me to stop the thing that i did wrong,when ever she spanking me, i lay on her knees and she gave me 5 second to take my pant off and underwear off, if i don't she will spank me harder and more time, but spanking it work for me, and i don't care.

[deleted account]

I spank my children as the Bible tells us to! The Bible explicitly tells us that to not spank your child then you hate them. I firmly believe this!

I have gotten so many compliments on how well behaved and wonderful my children are. I no longer have to spank my 10 and 8 year old much at all, like maybe once every few months. My 4 year old gets it more often but she is just like the older ones were at that age. I think people need to start going to God's word rather than what some idiot in a book or on a website says! God won't steer you wrong, humans will!

Michelle - posted on 11/02/2011

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I will always try to deal with bad behaviour by other means first and leave smacking as a very last resort. I will smack if I really have to but would rather not. I can understand everyone's different points of view but perhaps it just depends on the child. Like I said, I certainly would recommend smacking only as a last resort when all else fails.

[deleted account]

Vanessa u're right. We shouldn't force our ways of raising or discipling our children on others. Every child is different. And so is everyone mom. We just have to remember not to hurt.

Stifler's - posted on 09/09/2010

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I agree. I don't care how people discipline their kids just as long as they do. I refuse to associate with people who's kids just run a muck while they bitch about their behaviour and sit back and say "ohhh but there's nothing we can do".

Alexis - posted on 09/05/2010

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While I do not agree with spanking and personally view spanking as the easier way out when disciplining, if it works for someone and they are not crossing the line into abuse then fine. I personally see constant positive reinforcment as a better route along with explanations. I will admit that it is time consuming and it takes a lot of reinforcment on my part. When my son started touching the computer it took me three days of telling him no and removing him from the area before he understood while my nephew was spanked once and didnt touch it again. I just know that I was raised with spankings and half the time I didnt get an explanation just a spanking. I did not respect my parent for it I simply feared them. I also don't want to pass on to my son that hitting is ok.

Natalie Rose - posted on 08/29/2010

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I am firmly against spanking. I know many people that use spanking as their primary form of discipline and I was raised being spanked along with my 4 siblings. My opinion on the matter is quite strong. That said, I also firmly believe in every parent using what works best for them - I am in no position to tell anyone what to do or judge anyone for their decisions. I think that spanking is abusive as it uses size, power, and physical force to "teach" a smaller, helpless person to obey or submit. I think spanking is often done while emotions are running high and when done in anger could be quite detrimental to a child's well-being. My husband and I practice Love and Logic with our children and it works beautifully for us, it encourages cultivating a mutual respectful relationship with your child and giving them choices (when safe, of course) so they can learn to see the consequences of their actions. When practiced in a safe environment with the care and guidance of a parental figure, the result (hopefully) is a child that is confident to make decisions and is responsible for those she makes.

I also know that I am a generally happy, healthy adult that was spanked until I was 12 years old - if spanking did do me any mental or emotional damage I seem to have worked through it! :-)

Rhiannon - posted on 06/01/2010

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I watched Dr Phil the other day (in Australia, so I think it was probably an old episode) and one gilr on there said she wants to spank all kids. She works in a restaraunt and sees children behaving badly and thinks she should be allowed to spank them if the parents won't.

She also said that when she looks after her 3 year old nephew she wears a belt around her neck so he knows he can be spanked at any time and will hit im with that.

Whilst I spank my children when I feel they really are behaving badly and not listening to reprimands, I think that spanking them with something like a belt and spanking a child that isn't yours is very wrong.

Oliver - posted on 05/04/2010

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So far our little guy is only 9 months therefore discipline is foreign. Redirection seems to be working great for us.

Tanya - posted on 04/28/2010

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With my two year old we only spank if she does something that could get her hurt or somebody else hurt. We do it calmly and explain to her why she is getting a spanking. afterwards she usually says sorry and gives us a hug. We put her in her room for almost everything else. Removing her from the situation seems to work. Its when people cross the line of just beating thier children because they are angry that is wrong.

[deleted account]

Hello Ladies,
I actually have an eight year old. I rarely have to resort to as i like to call it laying of hands. I think that from the beginning you have to establish rules and boundries and be the parent and not the friend. I also believe that if the husband or significant other is involved the both of you need to have already established a plan that will help your child understand how and when certain behavior is okay. I think just like women need to ladies in the street and freaks in the bed so do our children. They need to know when its playtime and and when its not. Children need to know what they can and cant do in public. I think that children wil learn from what thye see and enviroments they are in. if you have a child that needs the spanking then spanky them just do it the right way. dont beat your child. if you have a child responds to talking congrats. Its up to you and your child. I also love the crime and punishment chart as well.

Sylvia - posted on 04/18/2010

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To Emma, I love the "crime and punishment" chart! May have to borrow that idea...lol!

Oliver - posted on 04/16/2010

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The point of the matter is that many come to the conclusion that mom's who spank haven't tried other options. I think this is an unfair assumption and is why many moms are in the wrong for making those judgments in the first place. Countless times you find mothers who have exhausted every other avenue and spanking is the only effective discipline for their situation.

As an adult, there are occasions where I've reached over to grab something off someone's plate and they smacked my hand. I wasn't upset by this, it didn't scar me, I got the point, and I didn't do it again. Now it may say sound odd, an adult being spanked outside of a sexual context, but it's an indication that as long as there's a clear understanding of the action, it's a reinforcement that works for many parents above all others.

[deleted account]

I think (as a non-smacker) I believe that there are lots of alternatives that COULD work just as well, if people were just willing to give it a try.
And in response to your actual question (why would you continue to push for that family to use methods that don't work as great?) I look at it as children need advocates, young children can't stand up for themselves and if I can convince just ONE person to use another method (rather than hurting their child) then good on me! I'm not saying this to insult, criticise, judge, or any other word some people have applied to me, but just because this is what I believe in.

Emma - posted on 04/14/2010

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The big issue around spanking is that some people take it too far and those people cast a very large shadow over those who do not.
Im not a belier in spanking myself , i was spanked as a kid and it did no harm as was my hubby who is a belier in spanking.
We made a compromise, we sat down and wrote a list of "spanking offences" its a very short list and this far our kids have never been spanked as time out seems to be doing the trick.
We also discuses how a "spanking" would be carried out regards to us the parents being calm and talking to the child about why they are to be spanked like was done in the schools hear before corporal punishment was removed.
I made a big "crime and punishment chart" for my kids it shows if you hit you get a time out, if you touch the oven you will get smacked hands ect ect,
the chart seems to be a huge deterrent, plus it helps my hubby and i make sure punishments are always the same

Sylvia - posted on 04/14/2010

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Vanessa,



I think it's human nature to try and force or more so put our beliefs and what we feel is right on others. Most of the things we believe, we are pasisonate about and spanking is one of them for some. I know some parents who feel they are abusing and outright mistreating their child if they spank them, I don't agree.



I don't use spanking as a primary form, I actually use my position as the authoritive figure and gain respect and acknowledgement from my daughter. When I tell her something she knows I am serious by the tone of my voice (not screaming) and my straight face. Once she disobeys to a certain degree (I give her chances) then the flip-flop comes out and she gets a couple pops on the behind.



I also use other tactics of discipline which is teaching ( I think this has been forgotten) instruction is first and foremost in discipline, and you implement the consequence (personal choice) with spanking, time-out, removing a toy etc.



But I don't put my discipline techniques on anyone because as long as your not abusing, neglecting or mistreating your child and doing the best you can there is no reason.

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