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Sarah - posted on 01/24/2013

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Shelly I am not sure if I have any more ideas for you or not. I know where you are at. I do day care and often times this is how my two year olds act. I find that there is a time period where life is very frustrating and it is a struggle to get them to where you want them to be.....not that it is not a struggle as they grow just struggles are different.

Here is what I do. For something "simple" ie. not listening I give a warning. I go over to them and get down to their level and talk in a firm voice. I also let them know that if it continues they will be in time out. For something "major" ie. hitting, throwing it is an automatic time out with no warning. If it was a toy that was thrown the toy is gone for the day. For time outs I do a spot where they can't see tv, can't interact with the other kids, and can't play with any toys or anything that could become a toy during the time out. If they get up from that time out spot before time is up the time starts over again. I do not talk to them while they are in time out....if they get up I just take them back without saying a word. Sometimes I get the "I am sorry" Can I get up now" or "I love you" of even " I hate you".....I don't ineract as this is what they are wanting. Once their time is up I go over and get down to their level and then say we don't hit or ask them if they are ready to listen.....sometimes they will say no they are not ready to listen....so then I say ok you can sit there until you are ready. Amazingly that works pretty well....I think sometimes kids just need that space. Around that 2 yr age it seems like some days or even most days all they do is sit in time out. Many days I am about ready to pull my hair out wondering if they will ever get it. Then one day I start to notice that I am not giving as many time outs and that a warning is all that is needed. I am a very routine person and I think being consistant helps if they know that everytime they hit they are going right to time out eventually they get it (though it does feel like a million years before they do).

I know you said you now send him to his room since he was starting to get up and not sitting for his time outs. Sometimes the room works well and sometimes it defeats the purpose of the time out. Sometimes when you hear what you are missing out on it makes them think a little. Also if you are in your room you can do many different things in there, which for some kids then a time out is not a big deal. I wonder if being in the time out spot instead of his room might be more effective. You would have to be the judge as to what would work better. Here is my thinking.......I know it will be a struggle and a battle, but if he is required to sit in one spot for the whole 3 mins. and knowing that everytime he gets up the time starts over and you will continue to do this until he sits for the whole 3 mins. he will realize where the line has been drawn. He will know that when you say time out you are going to make him sit for the whole 3 mins. every time. Right now I wonder if he feels like you don't mean business.....even though you may....he is not seeing it, so he pushes to see how far he can push. With that idea he will push the time out spot with all his might at first. It may take HOURS before he sits for the whole 3 mins., but once you get to that spot he then knows that you will make him sit.

A good book I have found is called "Love and Logic" by Foster Cline and Jim Fey (or Fay). There is one geared more for toodlers too just can't remember the name. There is also a LOT of info. about Love and Logic on the internet if you want to do a web search. It works nice with the strong willed kid....this was my second child :)

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Ashley I would assume this is a complete joke. And not a very funny one at that. You should not be allowed on this board. And I will be reporting you. This is a community where parents come together to help eachother. I certainly hope your not a parent that is for sure.

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