13 month old daughter wont stop temper tantrums!

Jasmine - posted on 04/06/2012 ( 14 moms have responded )

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I need help! My daughter is almost 13 months and for the last month maybe 2 she has been throwing tantrums! I tell her no and she sits there and screams or hits or pinches or will cry on my shoulder than bite me! I bring her to work with me from 10 am to 7-8 pm. She has lots of toys, snakes and food here but as soon as I stop paying attention to her she starts to get into things she is not allowed to get into. As soon as I tell her no she starts to be a "little monster" as I call it. She wont nap but maybe 1 to 2 hours a day.



I am getting very frustrated because after she throws these tantrums she starts to scream all day! I love my daughter but being a full time mom and working full time has me so stressed out and these "fits" are not helping my stress or patience level. I have tried a time out into her play pen. I have tried to ignore her (bad idea makes it worse), And I have tried giving her naps but she wont take them.



Someone please give a young mom some advice!

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Kersten - posted on 04/06/2012

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My daughter is 13M old as well, and she has tempter tantrums where she will throw herself on to the floor sometimes face down, others back down and she will do this butt scoot upward because she is kicking off with her legs...it's very dramatic. We completely ignore her, she usually gets bored with it and stops, luckily she hasn't pulled one of these off in PUBLIC...other then friends houses or places we could still ignore her. Your not alone, hang in there Momma.

Katherine - posted on 04/06/2012

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Ignore! Saying no only makes it worse. When my 3 year old has a tantrum I ignore her and she get's bored and stops. Do NOT pick her up if she is biting you. Set her down. It's normal for her to throw these tantrums at this age. After her tantrum, get down to her level and explain, in 13 month old lingo WHY it's ok to get mad, but throwing a tantrum is not ok.

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Jasmine - posted on 04/11/2012

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Yes I am able to play with her all day besides when a customer comes in. She has LOTS of room to play and lots of toys (and stuff ) to get into! She has a play pin for naps at my work she has a booster seat to eat at she has little movies to watch and books for me to read to her. She interacts with my customers and even has A lot of people that stop in just to see her!

Sarah - posted on 04/11/2012

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I can totally understand the affordability and the feeling comfortable with someone else watching your child. My husband and I hardly do date nights...well go out date nights because we don't live close to family and it is hard to find someone we trust and that is available. If you can't you can't and I get that, but at the same time is it fair to expect a 13 month old tosit at work with you all day? This only gets harder as she grows. I don't know what you do, so maybe you are able to play with her throughout your day. As she gets more moble and older she is not going to want to sit still as much. Again I can understand if you can't, but I also think you have to look at it on your daughter's side too and evaluate if this is the best situation for her. Is she able to grow and develop like she should.....run, play, learn how to interactive play (this will be more as she gets closer to 2 yrs old).

Jasmine - posted on 04/11/2012

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Thanks for all the reply's! Sometimes its just difficult because I have to work I have to bring her with me also! I can not afford and do not trust sending her to daycare or with family.

Tori - posted on 04/10/2012

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Personally I would not ignore the situation, I would definitely tell her no as she needs to begin to understand that her behaviour isn't acceptable, however when they are screaming and shout, make sure she can't hurt herself & leave her to it, it may take a while but she will get bored and stop, once she's calmed down, try and get her interested in her toys again,

Problem is at this age, their attention span isn't great x

Monica - posted on 04/09/2012

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Okay first thing, calm down. If you are getting frustated the kid will build off of it. If you want her to stop start taking away toys and privligages and when she does good things praise her and reward her! Hope this helped!:)

Sarah - posted on 04/09/2012

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I would think about doing some other arrangement instead of bringing her to work with you. It sounds more like she is getting bored. For a 13 month old toys last about 5 mins. and then they are done with them and ready for something else. This also makes it hard for you to focus on what you need to get done. Can you re-arrange your hours so your husband could watch her for some of that time? Maybe you need to look at day cares or swap with a friend. I think most of the behaviors you see will go away if you change your set-up with having her come to work with you. 2 hours is pretty normal for 13 months. Usually after 12-15 months they go down to one nap a day for about 2 hrs. I just think she wants to play but has no one to play with so then acts out.

Jennifer - posted on 04/09/2012

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IGNORE the tantrum and then, when she calms herself down, give her lots of hugs and cuddles and tell her how good she is for calming down on her own. It will teach her that throwing a tantrum will get her nothing while being good will earn her attention and cuddles. Also, try to break up work a bit more. Do some work, get down and play with her, do some more work, play with her some more. This way she learns that she's still a priority but that Mommy sometimes has to get other things done as well.



Loving her is important but so is teaching her and this is an opportunity to do both. At about this age my daughter did the same this and man could she throw some doozies! She'd howl and fling herself on the floor. To keep her from hurting herself I'd put her in her crib and walk out of the room. She could go on and on! I think her record was something close to an hour! When she calmed herself down I'd go get her and snuggle her up, give lots of hugs and kisses, wipe away the tears and we'd talk. I'd ask her if being stuck in her room was fun or if it was better to snuggle and play. Playing of course won and she learned pretty quickly that tantrums would just mess up her playing! lol



Now she's a happy 3, almost 4, year old and she looks at other kids having fits and just shakes her head and looks up at me and says things like, "That's so silly mama, tantrums just get you in trouble." It makes me grin every time.

Julie - posted on 04/07/2012

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She needs YOU at this point and you're not 'getting it' -



MUST you work?



Children go thorugh various stages of needing you then being very independent. We moms have one chance to get it right ... so meet her needs.



You have one chance to be a full-time mom ... meet her needs with lots of loving touches and spending one-on-one time with her and watch her change... Read to her - take her for walks in the stroller - sing nursery rhymes to her - lay down to nap with her and then get up ... even if you both have to fall asleep on the floor on a nice fluffy blanket..



Talk to her thoughout your day; even tho they cannot respond due to age they understand our words.



Tell her often how much you love her and have her closeby as often as you can ...



In other words - LOVE HER ... you will see a change ♥

Jasmine - posted on 04/06/2012

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My daughter will follow me too sometimes and tug at my leg to get my attention!

Katherine - posted on 04/06/2012

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I get frustrated too. That's why I walk away. Sometimes she follows me to continue her tantrum lol. I just keep on walking!

Jasmine - posted on 04/06/2012

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Thank you I will try my hardest to ignore its just so hard I might get frustrated with her but I look at her and it makes my heart break when she is bein bad like that!

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