18 month Public Tantrum/favoring daddy

Kaneshiia - posted on 04/05/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Our 18m son has been throwing alot of tantrums. The ones at home aren't to bad. We get mad at him, time out, and possibly a spank on the butt if its that bad. But still its no where as bad as the ones in public. He screams like we are hurting him. Kicking and crying. What should I/Myself and DH do?

Also, I was going to make a different conversation for this but it goes hand in hand. Our son has this thing where at home its mommy and daddy both no matter what. There's times where he wants one in particular but if we are unavailable he will settle. However, in public he ONLY wants his daddy. Now I don't mind, but at the times like if DH has to use the restroom obviously needing free hands. He needs to hand off our son to me. THIS IS WHERE THE BIGGEST TANTRUMS HAPPEN. Now, we have tried the whole not letting him walk/carry him in. As in we use shopping carts and Strollers. But this still sometimes is an issue with those cases.

ADVICE PLEASE!!

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Amy - posted on 04/06/2013

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Tantrums are a way for your toddler to communicate with you, their language development isn't there yet so this is how they voice their displeasure or needs. First of determine why he's having a tantrum if it's because it's close to nap time, or because he's hungry or thirsty then you need to address his needs. Yes that may be inconvienent such as being out shopping around nap time but if he's tired than wrap it up and go home. If he's having a tantrum because he wants attention and you can't give it to him at the moment because you are busy then esplain that and as soon as you can spend some time with him playing. If he's having a tantrum because you told him no or he can't have something then ignore it, let him cry and scream.

Most toddlers really just want attention so they don't care if it's good or bad. By reacting to every tantrum by getting mad at him and sometimes spanking him he's getting attention. If you have no reaction and just walk away everytime he's going to learn that he doesn't get attention when he behaves that way. When he has tantrums in pubic you can just ignore it, you aren't the first parent who has had a tantruming toddler in public. Your other option is to leave when he has a tantrum, if he's doing something fun that he wants to continue to do and you leave everytime he has a tantrum eventually he'll learn that if he wants to keep doing it he better not have a metldown.


Finally as far as preferring daddy it's quite normal for kids to prefer one parent over another and switch back and forth in different phases of thier life. It sounds like you have it figured out at home. What I would do in public is just pick him up tell your husband we'll meet you at location x and just walk away with him in your arms, after a minute of him screaming you can try distracting him.

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