18 year old acting like and adult under my roof

Lesllie - posted on 09/13/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )

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My 18 y/o daughter is living under my roof and going to college. My question is... Is it ok for me to be hassling her about taking care of her responsiblitys around the house. I have her keep her room clean and her dishes washed and do her own laundry is that to much to ask of her. She has been a very good daughter up until she turned 18 and wants to spend all of her time at her boyfriends house. She is not working but I do pay her to watch her younger brother and sister while Im at work. Should I kick her out of the house if she is not going to help around the house and babysit for me

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Cleaver - posted on 02/06/2013

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@Jennifer my mother HAD to kick my brother i encouraged her to do so sooner she isn't heartless he is there are many conditions you shouldn't sit there and say such judgmental things.
now to Leslie maybe encourage her to get a job. paying her to babysit is kind, i was that age not too long ago it is hard although i was a hairstylist by 19 i was too busy trying to make it in a super competitive world

Jennifer - posted on 02/06/2013

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Under no sircumatances do you consider to kick your child out of the house you would have to be heartless to do such thing , I personally thing she seems like a good girl . And paying her for taking care of the kids is a yes and a no one because she's an adult no because she's living under your roof and should be helping out you ppl are family .

Erica - posted on 09/14/2009

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I think what you are dong is reasonable. If she doesn't want to do the things you ask of her she needs to pay rent, or get her own place. But remember she is an adult. So treating her like one is the best option. Try having a rental agreement just like a lease on an apartment. Sounds silly but might help. And 18 yr. old girls always want to spend all of their time with their boyfriends. When i was 21 i moved back home with my mother, i to pay rent and always tell her were i was and if i was coming home. The freedom kept me out of trouble. I did sleep at the boyfriends house but most of the time we were watching old movies and eating take out all night. Now we are married with a daughter and expecting a son in dec. My point being, a little freedom can go a long way in letting her become that Shinning Adult you want her to be. Let her know that as long as she respects your rules, you will respect her freedom. Explain to her this is new territory for you, you are no longer raising a child you are living with an adult. Give her rules of the house that reflect that. Now i'm not saying that letting her sty out all night is right for you. But maybe just inflicting a house curfew. You have smaller children n the house and you dont want people running in and out at their own leisure. You dont stay out till3 am ( i assume) so you dont expect anyone eles in your house to either. House rules that apply to everyone will make her feel more equal and less rebellious. Even if the rules dont really apply to you. She is gonna make terrible mistakes, didn't you? We all do and nothing our parents siad would have changed a darn thing. Not that i'm say you shouldn't try, couse by all means do. I wish you all the best, i have two brothers that age and they are dong just about the same the same age. If it makes you feel any better. One is even in the Marine Corp. reserve, and he still wont get a job or clean his room (He lives with my much stricter father). Good luck i've rambled on long enough:)

Kayla - posted on 09/13/2009

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I'm only 22 so haven't gona through that...BUT my opion is as long as she lives under your roof she should go by your rules..and being that she is an adult she should clean up after herself. I live on my own with my husband and daughter and still to this day if i go to my moms and eat or whatever i always clean up after myself eventhough i know i dont have to. stand your ground. being an adult is alot of responsibility, one of which includes taking care of your own dishes, laundy etc....hope it helped

Charla - posted on 09/13/2009

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You shouldn't be paying for your daughter to watch your other kids. She should help you out and do it just because that is what family do. If she gives you a problem, kick her out. Sounds like she needs to wake up and grow up.

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