19 month old with strange behavior

Elizabeth - posted on 03/28/2013 ( 12 moms have responded )

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I am very worried about my daughter. First of all I want to say she has always been a little on the spoiled/ babied side. I am guilty of it, my mother is guilty of it, my dad and his wife are guilty, my soon to be in laws are guilty, and her teachers at daycare are WAAAYYYY guilty of it! Talk about teacher's pet. She has been to 4 different daycares since I have had her, because I've switched jobs a couple of times and I always pick daycares that are close to my work instead of home. Every lady at every daycare has always LOVED her and given her special treatment. Aside from that I am also just concerned that maybe the changing daycares and being handed to so many different people has affected her.

Okay so here is what odd behavior she is showing, she still acts like a "baby" baby but with some big girl behaviors... She tends to be a little antisocial towards other kids, and she kind of just does whatever she wants even if it is not appropriate for that moment. Yesterday my fiancee picked her up early from daycare and he said she was laying face down on the ground outside when he got there (her class was outside at that time), while all the other kids were sitting around the teacher and playing with each other. My other concern is that she is just very very attached to us and I feel like we are not paying enough attention to her, so she acts out and when she is told not to do something she just cries like she's being killed. While all of this sounds pretty normal for a child approaching two years old and many mothers are just going to say it's my fault and bad parenting... I am being completely honest when I say I have been nothing but a devoted mother who always takes very good care of my child, but I do think she has to a degree taken advantage of us and she is just acting a little bit weird.... I find it very odd that she likes to go off on her own at day care at her age.

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Lilie - posted on 04/02/2013

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My son always cries when we say no... its funny. Its this whole dramatic scene. He's hilarious... but he doesn't understand "no" at all even though it was his first word because I was saying it all the time. He still can't say yes, even when the answer is obviously yes. I like the AHA! Parenting advice... its been working for me. For the things that don't work I am waiting for him to grow out of. The more patient I am the better he is.

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Elizabeth - posted on 04/23/2013

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I had to change day cares because my company kept moving from place to place, but now that I have a house I am keeping her at the same daycare for good because it is a block away from our house, so no matter where my job is she will stay in the same place.

And I was an army brat. I would say that the only reason I ever get the least bit bratty is because I was an only child for 12 years not because of all the moving, that has just made me shy and socially awkward.

She's actually improved and moved on to a new hang up, sleeping with the light on, and a night light is not good enough, she must have full on light. I'll take that over the outbursts and weird exclusive behavior, but she IS the youngest in her class.

Jenn - posted on 04/23/2013

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Susan hit the nail square on the head. Stop changing daycares. Pretty much she is confused and nothing else. No matter how old a child is if you keep changing schools/daycares they resent it and you can't blame them. Even at such a young age they build relationships and when that is taken away they will of course act out. If you think it's tough the way she is acting now try this when she is in middle school and see what happens. I'm sure you have heard of army brats the reason they become brats is because they are always being re-located.

Leave her at the same daycare whether it's close to your work or not, things will work out for the best.

Susan - posted on 04/06/2013

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Let me start by saying that I have been a working mom for 39 years, raised 2 kids and both went into daycare at 8 weeks - so I'd like to think that I understand the circumstances. Yes, it is normal for toddlers to go through a period of separation anxiety, but I can't help wondering if this is not being exacerbated by the fact that you keep changing daycares. One of the most important things for small children in daycare is continuity - having the same setting that she can become comfortable in and feel safe in, the same people that she can learn to trust and to bond with, the same children that she can create relationships with. If you are moving her every few months then she has not been able to create those bonds and relationships - that is going to make it harder for her to hit that level of comfort and safety.

Breanna - posted on 04/02/2013

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I'm no expert but I wouldn't be to concerned. You mentioned a very important piece being your daughter is spoiled not to mention she's just 19 months. She's still a baby so she's gonna go through her phases not to mention that's how babus act when the spoiled my daughtera
20mnths and ahe use to act like that. She will move past it will take time but try not to spoil her so much

Elizabeth - posted on 04/02/2013

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Thanks Lilie. My fiancee really has it down. I think now most of her crying is saved for mommy cause when she does cry she says "moommmyyyyy mommmyyyy mommmmyyy" and as soon as I am out of the picture she's fine. I think she either hates me or thinks she can take advantage of me by crying... idk. It really makes me sad though.

Deanna - posted on 04/02/2013

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Also remember that it is a good thing for kids to learn to play on their own - Yes - playing with them and entertaining them is a good thing too - but it is also a good thing for her to be comfortable playing by herself - If you don't let her have this time - she will always want to come to you to be entertained and will not be able to develop her own imagination as easily. If she is happy playing by herself - let her for a bit! It doesn't make you a bad mom - and it will help her learn - it's also ok to tell her once in awhile that it is "quiet time" - time to read or play quietly while you read a book or surf the web or whatever - this is good both for you and for her - you can keep and eye on her and supervise her while still letting her do her own thing

Elizabeth - posted on 03/29/2013

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So i also want to add that lately I have been extremely emotionally unstable and very very depressed... not lately.. my whole life. But I have been in a habit of feeling very alone so I just want to cuddle with my daughter all the time and give her hugs and tell her how much i love her and rub my face in her hair and call her my fuzzy wuzzy... super weird right?

I don't want to have to turn to my daughter for emotional support... she is supposed to turn to me... and some day i'm sure she will when she is old enough to process and define emotions... idk... I hope this isn't affecting her behavior... i know she can sense that I am sad because she always pats me on the back and gives me kisses. I just love her sooo much!!!!!!! I still have dreams about being pregnant with her and seeing all the ultra sounds... and the best part about pregnancy was that I got to take her everywhere with me!!!!! I miss that...

Elizabeth - posted on 03/29/2013

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Yeah for the most part I agree with you. I'm mostly just concerned about her laying face down outside. She is the youngest in her class though, they don't have a middle toddler class for those who are not yet 2, they just go straight from infant to to the 2 year old class, which I find quite odd, but it's the only daycare i can afford.

Amy - posted on 03/28/2013

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What you describe sounds like pretty normal behavior for a 19 month old. Most children don't start playing with each other till they are older and at that age they usually just play along side of each other. If I were you child's teacher I wouldn't force her to participate either if she didn't want to, just because of her age.

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