2 1/2 year old won't stop hitting

Kim - posted on 01/06/2010 ( 4 moms have responded )




Help! My 2 1/2 year old son won't stop hitting/throwing things at me & his brother! He's got an arm on him and his aim isn't too bad either. It keeps escalating and has gotten so bad that he split his 8 year old brother's head open last night with a belt. I need some serious advice......


Sarah - posted on 01/07/2010




What are you doing for disciplining? I would keep things that might be dangerous out of reach. Then for any hitting/throwing offense I would do an immidate time-out. Normally I do a warning first and if the behavior continues then a time-out, but for dangerous offenses there is no warning and I would consider hitting and throwing things in that cat. Time out is in a spot where you can see, but there is no interaction and it is not a fun spot (no toys or things that can by played with). They must sit there for 2 1/2 mins. ( 1 min. per age). If they get up then time starts over. If they try interacting they are ignored. In order for any kind of discipline to work you must be consistant with following through with the discipline and also following through on disciplining each time there is an offense. Soon they realize that if I hit or throw I will end up in a time-out and that is not fun. Not to say you won't have offenses now and then, but it does get less when they realize the reward for hitting is not fun.


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I also have 2 boys and boy will be boys! But, hurting other people is not acceptable and he needs to know that. I use to use the "NO, QUIT, STOP...." approach and the more I said no the more he wanted to throw things, bite, and tell people to shut up.
I just recently started working at a very nice daycare center. We are not allowed to use negative words with the children. Instead of telling them NOT to do something we tell them what they should be doing instead, another option.
for example if someone is hitting another child we say "should we hit eachother? Would you like it if someone hit (pushed you, threw things at you etc) you? Allow them to answer, then have them say they are sorry. I know it sounds uneffective but it really works. In the event that they do not want to say they are sorry you give them a choice. Say you are sorry or you will have to sit in time out (or whatever you choose) and let them know they have a choice.
Another example when they are out of their seats besides saying You are not supposed to be up we say, John, You need to put your bottom in your chair or even ask the child where they should be. It is all about positive reinforcement.
I started doing this with my children and it actually works WAY BETTER! Good luck, I really hope this helps!!

Valeen - posted on 01/07/2010




Wow thats my 2 1/2 year old girl too... Just recently i've began just pushing her away from me when she starts to hit or try to bite...I let her know that you can't do that to any of your friends and family... Yesterday I just told Nevaeh that if she wants to hurt me that I don't want to play with her... Trying to get my son to do the same but he's the one that still babies her... Time out never works she just stands there screaming... She's a bit of a diva so i take away all of her play dresses... Thats the main things she plays with so I use those against her all the time... Well hopefully my lil tid bit helps!!!

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