2-Year-Old Wants to Be Carried

Liz - posted on 03/25/2014 ( 15 moms have responded )

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I'm really just after some support. my 28 month old daughter insists on being carried when we are out (she will walk for short, very short distances) but she is getting too heavy and my back hurts. She hates the pushchair so it's not an option. She has also developed a wonderful talent of somehow tucking her knees up when I try to put her down! I am very patient and follow attachment parenting/ child led parenting. How long before this phase ends?

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Michelle - posted on 03/26/2014

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If you keep carrying her then she will probably keep it up. Sometimes you need to lead the parenting. not your child.

Sadie - posted on 02/08/2015

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I think once you understand why she's asking to be carried, it will get much easier. My daughter started wanting to be carried all the time again when she started walking. Once I realized she s reacting to this sudden increase in independence, I was able to respond accordingly. She also got much more interested in what I was doing, so I'd let her stand on a chair or ask her to bring me something to be helpful. If I knew I was going to be doing something dangerous for an extended time (like cooking on the stove) I would just plan ahead and give her plenty of attention ahead of time. Children of all ages need some touch and attention, and it depends on them how much. I find that getting to the bottom of it and finding a mutually acceptable alternative yields better results than just training them to ignore the need, like some people suggest.

Charly - posted on 11/12/2014

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Okay ladies. I hear a lot of ya'll giving in to your child as far as holding them goes. WOW!!!
Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't carry my kids anywhere. They started walking so I wouldn't have to. I do hold their hands and let them sit in my lap when we are out and about, but I don't pick them up and carry them. Let your kids walk, that is their exercise and how they gain their balance. Sure they are going to fall sometimes and want you to hold them, but don't hold them. Just drop down to their level and check out their boo boos and give them the old...mommy will kiss it and make it better routine. Don't get me wrong, I do love both of my babies, they are my world, but I refuse to have them held spoiled. No offense to anyone...

Dior - posted on 05/23/2014

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I follow attachment parenting/child led parenting as well. My daughter is 3 1/2 and still wants to be carried at times. During these times, I try to redirect her attention and say can you help me find a green car, what song should we sing, or let's say your ABC's. Sometimes this works. Other times I tell her if she needs to be carried then we have to go home. But there are many times, that I do carry her because I know that she is only small but for so long and pretty soon she isn't going to demand this kind of attention. 28 months is still pretty young. Enjoy her now, one day you are going to wish she wanted you to carry her :)

Jaci - posted on 04/25/2015

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When my daughter first started walking we played what we call the I-spy game. I would say "I spy with my little eye a flower" she'd walk over to a flower and then we would talk about the flower, its colors, the shape of it and how big or small it was. Or I'd spy a leaf or a butterfly or 3 rocks on the ground. Anything at her eye level. Your daughter will have learned her colors, counting, shapes and sizes and forgot that she was walking. Now we play the I-spy game to learn things in our neighborhood. Now she says "I spy with my little eye something that starts with the letter ___" And then I go about naming everything I see that starts with that letter. Make a game out of it most kids love to learn at this age. Once you get home tell her what a great job she did and how she's such a big girl.

Good luck & Hope this helps!

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Joan - posted on 04/15/2015

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I've read a lot of doctors mentioning how attachment with the mother is healthy and gradually they will learn. It's giving them moral support, we have to remember this is a new world to them and they're exploring. We need to be their guides through this complicated world. It's about patience and explaining things to your child, they're smarter than we think. If they want to be held don't scold them or give them time outs. Give them the love they need but at the same time teach them and yes distractions are helpful at this age. Continually keep them engage. Overall love your child and appreciate the bond they created with you.

Melanie - posted on 02/19/2015

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My daughter loves to be carried as well. She's on the smaller side, so I always carry her in our Boba soft-structured carrier. This might be an option for you if you are willing to invest in a carrier- one in which she can be carried on your back. Maybe give it a try? I don't mind holding her because I know she just wants to be up where we are, seeing what we see, engaging in what we are doing together. I see it as an opportunity to bond. Carrying her in my arms gets tiring fast, so that's why I recommend a carrier.

Cassidy - posted on 01/03/2015

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Hi Liz,

My 30 month old daughter loves to be carried too. For my daughter, it is because in some instances, she still wants to be a baby. (I asked her this and she confirmed it.) Also, she "wants attention." When she is in my arms, it's impossible to NOT give her some sort of attention. When my daughter wants to act like a baby or needs more attention and things that my holding her is the only way she can get it, I need to change what I'm doing. Usually, this happens when I'm cooking (wants attention) or if we're doing something new (nervous or scared). I make sure to let her know how special she is and devote extra time to her, even baby her a little, but God knows I am not strong enough to carry her for that long. And I've made sure she knows it too.

Hope this helps,
Cassidy Cruise
http://tuesdaystantrum.blogspot.com/

Wendy - posted on 11/07/2014

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my daughter is about 2 yr old, she also wants me to carry her sometimes, and im also 22 weeks pregnant! i carry her as much as i can, i think it is just a phase, and it means she wants my hug and my comfort or accompany. however when i think she is no reason to be carried, such as at home/or out n about, or when she is not tired... i would ask her if she can walk, becusae mommy is very tired, and she is a big girl now you should be able to walk . sometimes work, sometimes doesnt, i dont force her, worst come to worst, i would just sit down by a chair (if on the street) and talk to her for a bit. then we walk again.
hope it helps. :)

Erisreignssupreme - posted on 06/09/2014

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ends when you want it to end. i also pretty much did attachment parenting not by reading nay books it just seemed normal to do. and one of my kids was really heavy i could not carry him like i did the other one. {i could still carry the older one hes still small!!} anyway my light kid was great at walking . {ironic} and the buggies i had well the big fella broke them all he was that heavy and strong. and i did my back in. its still bad now and hes six so PLEASE dont do your back in!!! its not worth it. we just walked that was what had to be done. we walked slowly and we had rests and it took an hour to make a twenty minute walk to the shops. it was a nightmare to be honest. the only thing i can think is that if i had had the money i would have gotten one of those bycycles with the little carriage for the kids and stuck them in there. then i could have zoomed to the shops. i used to do a lot of walking around with him on my hunkers {also not great for your back} but it meant that instead of him wanting to come up to me he would want me to come down to him which for me was better cos i was going into his world rather than him trying to come up to my level. and it meant i could affirm his interest in little things down low and see his perspective. i used to give him things to do on the way that involved him walking like pushing something carrying a teddy so that his mind was occupied with that. kids can understand change it can be hard but its harder for us i think. i still carry the guy their nine and six now and sometimes i carry them up to bed.... its definitely not good for your back but ive been working out so im pretty strong. i think a two year old is somehow heavier cos they are like dead weight. but i remember him being two and a half and we walked up this big hill and he walked the whole way up and down himself cos i guess it was interesting and new and fun and there was no way in hell i could have lifted him and climbed. it was amazing he didnt ask to be carried or even rest once. so they are capable of it. i mean within reason so long as its slow and you can take rests for their little legs. i think rushing is the main thing that they cant do i sometimes see someone dragging their little kid around in a hurry and personally i hate seeing that. so just say i cant carry you honey. and maybe crouch down to her level and you could say you need her to see all the things down low that you cant see so she could spot flowers or rubbish and point to it. maybe? i dunno really. but dont do your back in!!! its costing me in chiropractors now!!

Val - posted on 06/03/2014

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I think this is normal. My daughter is 26 months and she wants me to hold/carry her a lot lately, especially if I'm trying to do something like laundry, dishes, cooking, etc. She insists on walking pretty much anywhere else like when we go shopping or walking our dogs,unless she is ready for a nap. If she is tired then she will cry and say "mommy hold me", or if she is doing something I asked her not to and then she has a tantrum and when it's over, she wants me to just hold her and she is so sweet for a bit. I think its a phase, but she's only 20 pounds right now so it's still not too bad. I want to hold her for as long as I can, they grow up too fast! I do have a neck condition though so I have to be careful. If I'm hurting from my neck problem, I will pick her up and then sit down if I'm near a bench or couch. Usually after a couple minutes she wants down again because I'm not walking around carrying her so I guess it's not as fun sitting still lol!! Hang in there :)

Christie - posted on 04/13/2014

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She's still pretty young so I think this is perfectly normal. Both my kids hated the stroller and by the time my second was 6 months old I had gotten rid of all of ours. I don't think they liked that they couldn't see or touch me at all while they were in it. I would suggest just avoiding places that require a lot of walking and doing those errands on your own for now if you can. You might also look into a carrier. I know people usually think of them for when they are babies, but there are lots of great soft-sided carriers that you can use through toddler/young preschool age. We have an Ergo and I love it. I still carry my (albeit small - 28 lbs) almost 3 year old in it on my back if we are going somewhere that I know he will get tired or that I will want to make sure I have free hand for his older brother and our stuff like the zoo, into the city, airports or just a walk to our local park.

Mrs4444 - posted on 03/29/2014

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My best advice is to plan not to go anywhere that may require walking for a little while, but if you do, make sure she's fed and rested before leaving. Be prepared to stop for rests if she is tired and give her two choices when she is ready: "Would you like to walk or would you like to ride in the stroller?". Then be prepared to wait her out. (Make sure YOU've had enough sleep and food, too!:)

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