2 year old won't listen ...

JoJo - posted on 05/05/2016 ( 27 moms have responded )

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It is so frustrating having a 2 year old daughter who simply WONT LISTEN. No naps, no listening, nothing ... I am getting to my end ..

27 Comments

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Snow - posted on 06/19/2016

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For me, the keys were to say "no" firmly (like u mean it - u r not asking them to stop, u r telling them to), have a predetermined number of warnings (ex. say no twice then warn of a more severe punishment if they continue, like a time-out), a consistent punishment for not listening (find something that works and stick with it), create a punishment that ur child cares about (think about what they value - a specific toy, playing, tv time, a favourite snack or activity, etc., and devise a punishment that ur child will want to avoid), a consistent set of rules (the things that r not allowed should never be allowed and should always be subject to ur designed punishment paradigm (allowing something sometimes and not others is confusing for them), whether u r at home, grandma's, the store, a restaurant, etc.), don't say no if u aren't going to make them stop (saying no and not making them stop will just make them less likely to listen in the future), never make threats of punishments u cannot/will not follow through on (this will only communicate that u don't mean what u say), always be fair, calm, and consistent (don't get upset or act rashly - decide on a punishment plan and stick to it), decide on a refractory period for recurrent episodes (lets say u choose 20 mins - u might give 3 warnings before following through on ur chosen punishment, but if they listened after the third warning and stopped doing whatever it was for 20 mins, then the warnings reset. This refractory period should get longer as they get older), and finally praise them when they do listen to what u tell them (u can do anything u r comfortable with that u know will encourage them to listen more; cheering, clapping, treats, a song and dance, call them a big boy/girl... whatever u choose to do, make sure u communicate how happy and proud of them u r for listening. I obviously can't know what u r doing at home, but perhaps something from this list will be of some help to u. As it's been mentioned, it will get worse before it gets better. Also, I know it can be hard to discipline, but the sooner u deal with the issue, the easier it will be to correct and the less time it will take. Be strong and firm and keep in mind that despite how she is resisting now, children like structure and rules; they like to know what is expected of them. It will be tough at first, but once she knows that u r the one calling the shots, everything will be soooo much easier. Also, keep in mind that kids that age like to have some control; pick ur battles. Give her choices about trivial matters so that she feels like she has some control; peas or carrots with supper? What would u like to wear? Do u want to go to the park or go shopping?

As for naps, I recommend CIO sleep training. Put them in their crib for 1 hour whenever ur LO would normally have a nap. U can choose a period of time that u will let her cry before going up to offer comfort in the way of a song, hug, back rub, etc. I always made sure never to pick mine up when I did this method, and always leave after a predetermined period of time, whether they r upset or not. I chose to go in every 15 mins with mine, and stay for 2-3 mins before leaving.

JoJo - posted on 05/21/2016

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You ladies are such a help. I love that so many women can come together to discuss this issues we all have.

Miriam - posted on 05/18/2016

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It does help when we aren't having our own meltdowns with our children's meltdowns...
chicken or the egg came first, or double edge sword... that's what comes to my mind when I think of this concept...haha.

Miriam - posted on 05/18/2016

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http://www.circleofmoms.com/toddler-moms...

Follow this link by Circle of Moms. I do most of them, I SHOULD say HAVE TO, because I have an emotional, often times uncooperative little one.

I follow these types of suggestions and can get her to cooperate now, and her Dad does not follow any of the suggestions, and he and our daughter always battles it out.

JoJo - posted on 05/05/2016

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No your advice is very welcome here. I am going everyday with something new.

I have no idea what I'm doing Lol.

JoJo - posted on 05/05/2016

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it definitely sounds like you have got it in the bag then Sarah...

somewhere in the midst of your 4 kids ..the oldest being 19 .. only 4 years shy of my age i wouldn't be surprised if you even remember what its like being a first time parent , scared , and with no family to help or mentor you and not to add i suffered a year and a half with PPD...

so instead i seek GENUINE advice from other mothers on the internet just to get some sarcasm back.

however , thank you for your advice .. i will try to be firm .. its just difficult because i don't like feeling like the disciplinary or like i have to be mean to her ...

when i threaten her i don't usually feel like it gets better only worse

JoJo - posted on 05/05/2016

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The only thing we have is child support in order so he can make his contribution and thats all..

maybe i should be more clear ...

he has no interest in being an active father.
my fiancé plays the active role as her other mother and thats what she knows.

3 sets of grandparents, who all live in California.

JoJo - posted on 05/05/2016

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All he really wants.

My visitation isn't really the hardship I'm having though..
The child support is set up and he is fine with it and happy with the agreement we have set in place.

JoJo - posted on 05/05/2016

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Oh yes. I wouldn't have moved without letting him know.

He still plays an active role as her dad.

we have visitation set up for every 3 - 4 months ill visit California.

and he's aware of my relationship as he has always been ...

JoJo - posted on 05/05/2016

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No.

She is not the father...
But um, she has been active in our daughters life since I was pregnant.

JoJo - posted on 05/05/2016

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All of my family is in CA. I recently moved to MD with my partner who is active duty.


& when i say again, while i came to set up in MD she was in CA with my family and her dad..I recently brought her here and still trying to adjust.

JoJo - posted on 05/05/2016

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Its difficult not having my family or what once felt like my freedom...
I am almost losing it getting to know a terrible 2 year old all over again ..

JoJo - posted on 05/05/2016

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*sigh* I stopped yelling laid her down rubbed her back and she was asleep within 3 mins ...

I feel i have no patience and idk if that makes me a terrible mother or not

JoJo - posted on 05/05/2016

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for example she will not lay down to take a nap .. she screams .. cries .. kicks and keeps getting up .. what should i do

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