3 year old hits when mad

Tamara - posted on 04/03/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

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how do i get my 3 year old to understand its not ok to hit? I try sitting down with him and asking why he is so upset but he shuts himself down. I try time outs and taking away toys but it doesnt seem to help. i cant stand when he does this, any suggestions?

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Valerie - posted on 04/03/2012

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This is usually a phase all kids go through. They are just starting to learn impulse control. Keep doing time outs etc it just takes time for them to work it out. Help them find other ways to express the anger tell him to talk about his feelings ask him what made him so angry and that you can't hit when your angry because you get in trouble. Make sure he always says he is sorry when he does it. "If your that angry you should walk away and go talk to an adult about it." Also ask him if he likes getting hit. It helps to find out what kind of things cause him to get that angry and when you see that happen try to step in and help him work through it before he actually hits. Try not to make a big deal about it because he will figure out that he gets attention (yes even negative attention is attention) for this behavior. Stay calm and tell him "you know you are not supposed to hit, say your sorry. Now lets go sit over here by ourself until we calm down" make sure after the time out you talk to him and ask him if he knows why he is in trouble and make sure he understand that it is because he hit someone. He will start to get tired of watching other people play while he sits on the side because he got angry and will start to learn to control the impulses. I hope this helps and good luck.

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