3 year old issue - Need advice!

April - posted on 09/22/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )




I am at a loss with my, almost 3, year old daughter. She has been acting up lately and I have tried everything to understand why. She is a daddy's girl, yet needs me to do everything for her, which I am fine with. One of the major problems is that my husband travels and is gone for weeks to months at a time. She mainly acts up when it is just us two, but sometimes that is nearly enough to drive me crazy. She will randomly kick me, hit me, or pull my hair when I am talking to her for no reason. For example, this morning we were trying to think of something fun to do today so I sat her on my lap and asked her want she wanted to do today. She grabbed on to my hair and pulled as hard as she could. I have calmly talked to her before about how biting, hitting, kicking, and pulling hair are all very mean and we shouldn't do them. When I ask her why she does this to me she just starts crying and says "I don't know." She does not have any problems with hitting, kicking, biting or pulling hair with anyone else except me. I am also pregnant with a boy, so I am not sure if that is affecting the way that she is treating me. My husband has seen her do this, and supports me and tells her that is mean to do. So I am not sure why she thinks it is ok to do. Usually I discipline her by sending her to her room for a couple minutes to think about what she did wrong. Me and my husband try to explain everything to her about why my husband travels, however I am not sure if she blames me for him being gone or not. We also try to include her with everything with the baby by getting her involved in picking stuff up and explaining to her what will happen when he gets here. I am completely open for advice.


Brandy - posted on 09/22/2012




do you have a routine? this can be very helpful for children with behavior problems from what ive heard. one thing you might want to try is changing your type of dicipline, if sending her to her room isnt working it might be time to switch it up. we used to send my 3yr old to her room but weve recently introduced the corner. she has only had to stand in the corner once for 1 whole minute without leaving or turning around and she did not like that at all. now when she starts acting up i ask her do you want to stand in the corner and she straightens right up. try a few different things and see what works for you. as far as the hitting and violent behavior is concerned my daughter knows that is not going to be tolerated for one second. When jenna was 2 and she tried that i told her once that she couldnt do that and that it hurts mommy and made her appologize the next time she tried it i sent her to her room, then she tried it on daddy and i sent her to her room again and told her if she did it again i would hurt her back, now i know people are going to get upset at that statement but i didnt threaten her i simply told her that if she hurt me or daddy or anyone else that we would let them hurt her back and she didnt do anything for a long time. after she turned 3 she decided she would kick me for some unknown reason so i smacked her once on her bottom and told her to go to her room. i didnt hit her hard, i didnt have to because i never spank her, it was enough to startle her. after she was in her room for a short time i came in and talked to her about it, i asked why she was crying and she naturally said because i hit her, i asked her did you like it when i hit you? and she said no, and so i explained to her that i dont like it when she hits me and neither does daddy and that when you purposly hurt somebody they might hurt you back because it isnt nice, then i asked her if she was sorry and she said yes and i told her i was sorry for hurting her and i asked her if she would do it again and she said no, and i told her then i wouldnt either. since then we have never had another problem with it and if she accidently bumps into us or if we get in the line of a flying stuffed animal or something while shes playing she is very quick to appologize. i dont know if this will work for you and i dont think it would work for anyone who spanks their kid all the time but it did for us. also is your daughter in playgroup or daycare or a preschool type setting or even a class or activity like dance class or something? something like that might help her feel less bored or special, or even just happier interacting with other kids, i think it gives them a feeling of independece that they really want and it gives them something to look forward to and something thats really their own that they can choose to share with you if they want.

i hope this helps

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