3 years old and still uses pacifier and drinks from a bottle

Mickey - posted on 08/06/2013 ( 9 moms have responded )

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My boyfriends son is 3 and still uses a pacifier and drinks milk and juice from a bottle. I don't say much cause i don't want to tell him how he should raise his kid but it bothers me. Im not a parent myself so i don't think I should really say anything. While at daycare he doesn't use a pacifier or bottle he will drink from a sippy cup. And at home he usually only drinks juice from a cup but has between 3 to 4 bottles of milk per day. My boyfriend said maybe in 6 to 9 months he might start to ween him off both. Im just worried since his son never drinks water only juice and milk he will start to form tooth decay. I've read that can happen also his gums could form bad. He seem to be getting an overbite and his speech is impaired cause he talks with the pacifier in his mouth. Just wondering if i should continue to keep my mouth shut and deal with it or say something. Im just concerned about the child's health and not meaning to sound like nag.

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Danicia - posted on 08/10/2013

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recommend him to take his son to a dental checkup. any good dentist will address gum disease and baby teeth rot. if he hasn't had a dental checkup by now, he's overdue anyways.

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You are correct - using the pacifier and the bottle at that age can be bad for the teeth, in term of overbite and decay, and bad for speech. However, this is not your child, and I think your best course is probably to stay quiet about this. I doubt your input would be well received by your boyfriend or the boy's mother, especially since you don't have children yourself. You should also realize that while it can be fairly easy to wean a child from a bottle or pacifier if you do it early, taking the bottle and/or pacifier from a 3 year old is going to be difficult and traumatic. That's coming from someone who's been there - I did well with bottles, but 2 of my three kids still had "binkies" at 3+ and getting rid of them was an ordeal. If you really want to say something, I'd start with a small suggestion instead of a huge change. For instance, maybe your boyfriend's son could start using his pacifier only at bedtime/naptime so that he isn't talking around it.

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Kim - posted on 09/05/2013

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It depends on how invested you are in the relationship. If you feel you have the authoroty to contradict the father, do so. Otherwise it might lead to a fight and hurt feelings. My son drank water from a soft spouted cup at night until 3. One day I just told him no more, and tossed them out. I would fret at the age, but some wise people told me not to worry, he won't do it by the time he was in school and to relax. And they were right :)

Tara - posted on 09/05/2013

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My son just gave up his paci and he turned 3 in may. The bottle thing is a little crazy but at the same time each child is different and it's not yours. Definitely suggest the dentist my son just went last month and the paci did no damage.

Mickey - posted on 09/01/2013

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The child's mother took them to the dentist and told my boyfriend everything was fine no talk about the pacifier or bottle. Guess it wouldn't bother too much but he has his pacifier in his mouth all day long. Not only is it in his mouth all day but he also is still sucking on it too. When he talks its in his mouth and its hard to understand him. I will take it out then he says something fast just so he can put it back in. When he doesn't have it in my boyfriend will say where is your suckie and then he my boyfriend will find it and put it in his mouth. Bothers mr that he thinks at 3 years old the child needs it all day long and has no concern about how his speech and teeth/gums are forming. Last night when he was giving the child a bottle i asked if he thought he was getting too old for a bottle and he said no. I asked him at 1 is when I thought most dr's suggested to ween them off both the pacifier and bottle and he no that was too young and thats when you ween them off formula. I know im not going to win the battle cause if mom and dad see no issue with him still using both then my opinion doesn't matter. But not sure how long I can keep quiet. He is also trying to potty train him but with them still letting him act like a baby that will be impossible. Cant tell him he s a big boy when he keeps using those. Please give me an opinion on if i should not be concerned or if im not being to hard on the child

Mickey - posted on 08/13/2013

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Thanks everyone for the good advice. The child is going to the dentist next week and i hope both my boyfriend and his ex wife will take what the dentist says seriously and that the dentist will address the issue.

Tracy - posted on 08/13/2013

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Find an article on this that you "ran across at the doctor's office" and give it to him and troll him maybe he should take him to the dentist to make sure he is ok. Then the dentist can tell him the evils. Also if his son tries to talk to you with his pacifier in tell him you are sorry but you can't understand him with his pacifier in. If his soon asks for a drink offer to get it for him and put it in a cup. If he asks for a bottle feign shock and surprise to the child and tell him how you can't believe a big boy like him still needs a bottle and say that you're niece/nephew/cousin gave up his bottle when they were just a year old. Mine lost the bottle at one year without a bit of problem however they still suck their fingers and the other one does her thumb and they are currently both 4, the youngest just turned 4 and the oldest will be 5 in October. Pacifiers would be a piece of cake you just cut the tip so they don't want it anymore unfortunately you can't do that with fingers or thumbs.

C - posted on 08/12/2013

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Definitely would go the dentist route which would help your boyfriend understand the severity, if there is one, but other than that, bottles are tough, but binkies are harder. We went through some tricky but creative things to take away binkies.

Put it under the pillow for the toothfairy to leave a surprise, or whatever the case, it is not easy.

I honestly can't remember exactly what ended up working for us =(
Good luck Mickey!

Florence - posted on 08/07/2013

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I think is not bad. If the child can use bottle and also use cup is ok, sometimes you allow them use both.

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