4 year old tantrums

Stef - posted on 06/09/2013 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My daughter just turned 4 and has horrible tantrums if she does not get her way or does not like something. She tells us we are the worst, that she doesn't like us. She throws herself around. She also does this whine that drives you nuts. She cries... and I just don't know how to handle her. Its gotten to the point where all I do is yell

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September - posted on 06/10/2013

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Well yelling is the worst thing to do since it's only going to make her act up even more. I would start by trying not to yell when she's misbehaving. I would find a spot in your home that you use each time she acts out and set her in it. We have a 4.5 year old son and when he needs some time to relax and think about his behavior we set him on the stairs. We choose to sit with him until he is calm enough to talk about why he's there. We talk it out, hug and then move on. Works really well with our son.

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Stef - posted on 06/10/2013

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Sitting her down on something or in a corner I have done.. She has picked up her naughty stool and threw it at me. Putting in her room doesn't work either.. I am serious that it seems no matter what we do it doesn't work. She has this serious attitude problem. Her doctor( which is new since we just moved) said I should have her evaluated by a psychologist... And I don't know if that's really something I want to do with all these doctors just sticking kids on drugs

Sarah - posted on 06/10/2013

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Don't play the game. Right now you are playing the game. When she throws a fit ignore it. Let her have her fit. You walk away and do something else. If she follows then you put her in a time out spot and let her know that when she is done having her fit she can come join you. My rule is if you are crying then you stay in that time out spot, but if you start to scream then the time out spot moves to your room and you can scream in there as long as you want, but once you come out then all the screaming and crying stops. If it does not then you are put right back into your room and will continue to be put in your room until you are ready to stop the crying and screaming.

I also have a saying "You get what you get and you don't throw a fit." If you don't want that certain color of cup then you don't need to have a drink. I watch a 3 yr old girl that likes to call the shots when it comes to what color cup or bowl she gets. Sometimes that is fine, but sometimes when that color is dirty she will throw a fit. My rule at my house is that you get what I give you and if you don't like it then you don't need to have it. So like the cup thing....this morning she wanted a blue cup and I had grabbed an orange cup. My response was "nope, this is the cup I have. If you want something to drink then you need to use this cup. So then I asked if she wanted that cup. She said yes, but if the response was a no then I would have put the cup away and not given her a drink." Her parents play into her game, but at my house she knows that I don't play the game. She will try it, but also knows that I will follow through and not give her the drink. One thing I have learned over the years is that it is not my loss. I am not the one losing the drink she is. I don't need to be worked up about the loss of the drink. You give her the choice and then if she decides she does not want the drink then it is her loss and choice. If she throws a tantrum you just say, "sorry you feel that way." and then walk away.

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