6 mo. pregnant and a toddler starting the terrible two's

Stephanie - posted on 07/30/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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I need some advice from parents with toddlers who have survived the terrible two's. My daughter is 19 months, and she is starting to act defiant. She says no a lot more and when I ask her to do simple things (put the bowl on the table, give the shirt to mommy, put that back) she says no. She was very helpful and doing all the things I asked her to, up until a few days ago.
Should I lower my expectations and stop asking her to do things? I know consistency is a big key in dealing with toddlers. Should I keep my mouth shut if I'm not going to follow through? Should I let things be on her terms?
Any advice would be helpful, thank you.

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Chet - posted on 08/01/2013

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Don't give her the chance to say no. Instead, give her the chance to show you how smart she is. Rather than saying, "put on your shoes" or "put the bowl on the table" ask her what should happen. "We're going to the park. What do we need to do before we can go outside?" "It's time for supper. What do we need to put on the table before we eat?" or "Here is this big pot of soup. Should we eat out of the pot?" Sometimes you need to kick it up a notch and be really silly. Walk outside in your socks and complain that your feet are cold, or put the shoes on your hands and then ask her where shoes go. In general, find ways to not give direct orders that she can defy. As soon as you say "do it" she has something to say no to.

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Keep on asking her to do things. Her little diva is just now coming out. It is very frustrating but just keep consistent and stay strong. You gotta make sure she knows your boss (or make you believe it because my daughter is the same). Address bad behavior with consequences and good behavior with consequences. Do what you think is best for you and her. Every child is different and responds differently to certain things! Stay strong!

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Liane - posted on 08/15/2013

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I have a 19 month old toddler who used to be really nice and helpful and done as she was told but once I had my baby who is 11 weeks old she has turned into a wee terror and everything I ask turned into a tantrum and she threw things about and screamed. I would ask her to do something and got no results so Im glad I read this as I never thought about asking her what would happen instead of telling her, I will be trying this from now on! Thank you for your post!

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