A toddler and a infant

Krystal - posted on 05/17/2011 ( 8 moms have responded )

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I just wanted to share my story and see if there are others out there with the same situation.

As I was getting closer to my due date a couple months back, I started to worry about how my older son, Damon (2), would react to a new baby in the house. When I brought his brother, Kylan (7wks), home, I was amazed at how much he helped. He's always giving his brother kisses and trying to help out (giving him his binkie, bathtime, changing diapers). Damon is very active and sometimes it's a little too much around his brother; but he's also really protective around the other kids.

The only thing I'm starting to have problems with is him trying to pick up his baby brother...

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KALLI - posted on 05/19/2011

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I know EXACTLY what you are talking about. My son was 2 (turned 3 in Feb) when I brought his sister home in December. She is now 5 months. I was so worried about his reaction and if he would feel abandon by me (his father and I are divorced) and I was so scared I would hurt him. But, he LOVES his baby sister and he loves to help give her baths, feed her, read her stories, burp her, hold her, and like you said...if I don't pay close attention I catch him trying to pick her up. I just have to remind him how little she is and how we have to be "super careful" with her because she can get hurt easily. So he has gotten really good at asking me if he can hold her instead of just trying to do it himself. You just have to keep reminding him and it will get easier for you too!

Kenda - posted on 05/18/2011

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my damian (5) and matthew (1) had some rough times to start with even with damian being so helpful. he does try to pick him up all the time when they are almost the same size and damian excepts him to help clean up the toys before bed. they seem to be almost best buddies now. but i did have to remind damian and still do that they are brothers and not everything can be done his way even though he is bigger. good luck

Jenny - posted on 05/17/2011

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Two year olds can be very demanding when wanting something done their way, but if you tell him he is very helpful and encourage him so he doesn't get upset and take it out on his brother, he will continue to be helpful. Let him know that his brother is still very little and he can hold him, but he has to sit on the floor and have a pillow under the baby. Sit right next to him but be thoughtful of his personal space as he will want to feel like he's holding him by himself. If you let him hold his baby brother like that, it should make him feel helpful, independent, and like you trust him. Hope that helps! ~Jenny

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Ann Marie - posted on 05/23/2011

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There's a really cute book called "What Baby Needs". It talks about changes in a toddler/preschooler's life when a new baby arrives. It focuses on the first 6 months or so of the baby's life, but my then-2-year-old understood it, and she still likes to read it.

Faye - posted on 05/20/2011

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I enrolled our then 3 1/2 year old daughter in a class at the hospital by the name of "Big Sib, Little Sib". I chose the class that was the closest to the due date of my son. That wasy she would remember the lessons better. The class was like 2 hrs long on a Saturday. They taught the BIGS how to wash their hands and hold the baby but only when sitting down. They encourged the BIG to always ask before holding the baby. They also showed them a room where mom would be staying when she was at the hospital. My daughter loved it. I think the price was like $10 but that was 16 years ago.



Once we got home, she would bring diapers, clothes and toys for brother. She would also pick on him something feirce. We always stopped her but warned her that "one of these days he is going to give it right back to you and we will not stop him". Well that day came about the time he was 16 months old. Boy was she suprised when we "allowed" him to pick on her. But because we had warned her of what we would not do, she learned not to pick on him any longer.

Krystal - posted on 05/20/2011

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I didn't exactly have that problem. While I was in the hospital, Damon was wondering why everyone was coming home but me, but I only stayed in the hospital for 24 hours. As soon as I got home, he shyed away from me for a little bit because I had the baby...but he warmed up by the next day and has been helping ever since. However, he's getting at his toddler rebellious stage, so he helps when he feels like it.

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My sons were born almost exactly 2 years apart... both in April... so I know what you mean! We were always just very careful to let him help in ways that he could do easily so he felt like a big boy, and we also made sure that we did sometimes let him hold the baby because everyone else got to! We would sit him on the couch in the corner and sit right next to him, then lay the baby across his lap while still holding on ourselves. This way, he got the same experience as he saw everyone else having. We always made sure to tell him he can only hold the baby if we help him. He was pretty good about it overall!

Kristina - posted on 05/18/2011

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my son was 16 months old when my daughter was born and i thought he was going to always be jealous around her. he was at first..didnt like her having the attention when he thought he was the only one still. but now he is very helpful,they even share bathtime sometimes. he's careful not to splash and shares his toys. he was doing good with holding her and doesnt try to on his own,but he thinks the older he gets that he can walk around with her ...

Shelby - posted on 05/17/2011

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I have a daughter who will be 2 in july and im trying for another baby but kind of nervous about Haleigh feeling left out or not as loved anymore if i were to have another baby like jenny says the best way will most likely be make them feel helpful and important. Good luck!

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