Accidents

Stephanie - posted on 08/13/2010 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I'm at a loss here...my 3 yr old daughter as been fully out of diapers with very rare accidents for 3 months (I'm a single mom). Recently her Dad has made the choice to reduce his access from every 2nd w/e + to only tuesdays, I'm thinking this may be a factor in this issue. The 1st week after the "change" (actually the day after the daddy visit) she had multiple accidents at daycare. We had a serious talk when we got home that day and the rest of the week was great! The next daddy visit comes & the day after back to accidents. We had our talk again which she seemed to respond to but did not follow through at daycare and is now to the point of laughing at the fact that she peed in her panties. Daycare is putting alot of pressure on me to correct the problem but I feel that due to the recent change in routine this is somewhat par for the course. Any thoughts? They say these set-backs are not normal but from my research & given the situation, it seems to me I should not stress. I should mention at home she tries her damnedest & 9 outta 10 makes it (occasionally not in time & on the bathroom floor)

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Tina - posted on 08/14/2010

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Is daddy working as hard as you to work towards potty training? That may be the reasoning that she reverts back. She is not having to worry about it at his house.

Carisa - posted on 08/14/2010

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I agree, it is probably a response to the situation with her dad...at her age she doesn't really have the ability to express to you in words how she feels, and this may be how she is showing her stress/hurt. Have you explained to daycare the new situation at home? They may be more helpful if they understand that she has had a major change in her life. I agree with the last mom, just start again with the techniques you used the first time around. You might also want to talk to her about how she is feeling (separate from the potty training) You might be able to help her express her feelings in words. Good luck.

Jessica - posted on 08/13/2010

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My daughter has that issue sometimes. Have you talked to the daddy to see what he does when she is there. You have nothing to stress about, I know when my daughter feels stress or there is a big change in the household or her normal routine she starts making mistakes. Also, I have noticed if she is really enjoying what she is doing at that time she will wait to the last minute. Just keep talking to her and sometimes you may have to go back to what you did when you started potty training her.

Michelle - posted on 08/13/2010

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I hope it goes well, as I said it would be more believable for her if it came from dad. But I do understand not being able to go that route as I have been there many times trying to explain to my son why his dad won't support him in his dance he is 9 now and dad is finally starting to pay attention but only because my son is calling and saying sorry I got a competition so won't be coming to see you

Stephanie - posted on 08/13/2010

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Thx for the advice! However the talk will be coming from me so I hope its as effective but I'll def give it a shot, thx again:)

Michelle - posted on 08/13/2010

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yes the change can affect her, she can't control you or daddy but she can control when and where she pees at age 3 it is all about a sense of control and the change may be bothering her. Get daddy to sit down and talk to her as well maybe if he reassures her that his changing his access is not because of her but because of some other reason she might relax and stop feeling the need to act out.

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