Advice - daughter coming back from nursery very upset

Sunn - posted on 12/10/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )




Hi every one,

My daughter has been in nursery for 1 year now (she is now 3) she moved to class 3 end of October, and has new "teachers" the frequency with which she comes back home and cries her self to sleep that non of her friends want to play with her is now on a daily basis. Before she moved classes she was exited to be going to nursery now she is very reluctant to get up in the morning.

When i question her she says stuff like so and so is not her friend because she was pushed, or because she didn't share a toy. When i questioned her key person how her behavior is with other children (was she being a bully) at the settling in meeting he informed she is a girl and great at interaction etc. lovely girl.

Yesterday we went to bd party of one of her friends, the class supervisor (who babysits the child whose bd it was) was there, i observed two instances where my daughter was intentionally cold shouldered/ignored out of the group of girls by this lady untill i approached and stood over them - then she was included in the activity.

Now questions have risen:

1 - am i being silly?

2 - can i ask at the nursery how they handle a situation when a child complains of being excluded or others not wanting to play with them (since they all say she is such a lovely/caring girl)

3 - how can i handle the conversations with my daughter now that all her friends seem not to want to play with her? what do you really say!!!

Help Please, my heart breaks every time she comes home and cries for hours. and all this started in in class 3!!

Thank you, concerned mom.


View replies by

Bethany - posted on 12/14/2012




always ask and question if YOUR child is suffering then an explanation needs to be given by any and everyone! my son is in daycare and he was moved up with no notice an he didnt cope well for the first week or so, he is back with a child that had biting issues and when i talked to his team leader about it and his reluctance about going cos so and so bit me i found that he was harrasing her and she was using her words but he wasnt listening so i told them i need instructions on how to enforce this at home, they did so willingly and now its getting much better!
dont be afraind to communicate with the carer/teacher cos thats what they need they migh not see the whole pic until confronted because they have so many different individuals
good luck

Gigi - posted on 12/12/2012




Thats a difficult one. If you are sure that the reason is not your daughter's behavior and suspect that the teacher is the problem then you should talk to the teacher. I don't think that will bring any improvement if the teacher is the one who is initiating "ignoring" behavior. The teacher should be treating all children equally, so this is horrible.

For me the instinct would be to talk to the headmaster of the school about it (so he is aware what one of his teachers is doing) and ask for my daughter to be moved to another class. I don't know would that work in your situation?

As for talking to your daughter about it - I am sorry I can't help, I have no words. But I am interested in what other moms can suggest.

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