ADVICE ON MARRIAGE!

Amanda - posted on 01/21/2014 ( 1 mom has responded )

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So we have been together for 5 years. And for those 5 years my husband has been farming, plus part time aucitoneering. We have 5 beautiful children. Our last child is only a month old. I had some complications with my pergnancy and had to be on bed rest because they thought he was coming early(this was in September) So my husband started telling me that he wasn't going to his one day a week auction because he didn't want to be away incase i had gone into labour(he auctioned 2 1/2 hours away from home) So i was fine with that at the time.....well i ended up going overdue with my pregnancy, and my husband still hasn't gone back to work....i have brought it up, asking him why he hasn't gone back, he keeps telling me that they don't need him because they have been slow.....he has also since quit farming because we weren't making any money. So he had decided that he was going to get back into doing his own auctions full time....well we didn't have any savings, so he has been borrowing money just to keep us living. I can't take it anymore.....I have told him i would go back to work just to bring in some income to help us out, but he doesn't want me going to work....I have been trying ot stand by him and support his decision, but this is seriously getting frustrating when he keeps talking and nothing seems to be getting done.....and if i mention anything to him then wow.....some how it comes back to it being my fault. I'm stuck.....he is the kind of guy who promises things, and never keeps them.....i'm getting tired of it....i'm starting not to trust him. I hate being this way.....i don't want to have a second marriage end. Can anyone give me advice on what i should do, or how to go about it. It has gotten to the point now that i just don't talk to him about anything, because i don't want to fight, or get yelled at, or blamed......he asks me why i just sit starring off into space, i just tell him that i'm thinking. Then he thinks i'm needing medication because he thinks i'm going through postpardum. But that's not it...i just am stressed, hate not having gas for our truck, our truck is broke and we can't afford to fix it, we borrow money for certain things, and they never to towards those things, and then he borrows again just to pay back what he borrowed before from others.....it's a vicious circle that i can't see us coming out of.....he's hiding texts messages about who he is borrowing money from, and their conversations because of whatever reason(he isn't cheating that i know for sure, just to put that in there). He always seems to have money for beer and chewing tobacco.....i don't go out and do anything cause i try and save money. We never get our rent paid, and i'm scared that we are going to lose this place if something doesn't soon happen financially. he always makes sure that we have food to eat, and gets whatever we honestly need....but only by borrowing money. I need some tips, because i just don't know what else to do.....it really doesn't make any sense for me to go and work as it would just go to a babysitter anyways, but all the financial needs are on his shoulders and i do feel bad about that....but i'm not sure what else to do.....
Thank you in advance for your advice!!

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