Advice please

Amber - posted on 06/27/2012 ( 35 moms have responded )

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I am new to this group so I hope I am doing this correct. My son is 28 months old. He is very loving, outgoing, and VERY coordinated for his age. I am concerned because he doesn't talk, he says 5 words, and he eats only 3 or 4 things, and that's if I'm lucky, some days he eats nothing. He is in the 80% on the growth charts and has only been sick twice. He also is very quirky about things. Examples are lining things up, stacking things, hand flapping, and he jumps ALL the time. He also freaks out if anything is out of order or off schedule, like head butting the wall. My gut tells me something is a bit off, but everyone, including the doctorr says I am being silly. Any advice is welcome and appreciate. Thank you ! He is an only child so I have nothing to compare it too.

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Laura - posted on 08/03/2012

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To all the autism moms.....GET YOUR CHILD TESTED FOR FOOD ALLERGIES. Then read those labels and go organic...from scratch. It won't be a sure cure, but I'd bet the rent that the symptoms will lessen and some will go away completely. A pure diet will make a difference.

Laura - posted on 09/24/2012

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Jessica, no-crap diet doesn't preclude food allergies. A friend's son is allergic to corn....she'd been using corn oil products, corn starch, corn tortillas, fresh corn, corn bread, etc...all perfectly appropriate, until she found out it was one of the sources of her son's issues! Its so worth keeping track then you can weed out the problems.

Pink - posted on 08/11/2012

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I'll reply like Michelle, my son was diagnosed autistic with similar behaviours, but he was 3 and now he is 4, we did gluten free and casein free diet, blood tests of various types including hla that showed a gene related to transforming casein and gluten into opioids (very bad), also urine tests that showed heavy metal intoxication and therefore the specialist gave him medicine and supplements for detoxification and now he is almost normal, I'll be happy to give info to anybody that needs it, I studied a lot, researched a lot, spent a lot of money that I did not really have and if I can now help other mothers...why not??

Michelle - posted on 07/29/2012

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My son did all of those things and has been diagnosedd autistic...those are all classic signs of autism.

Catherine - posted on 06/27/2012

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I can see you are drawing up a list of symptoms that fit with Aspergers (Austism Spectrum Disorder). It is incredibly difficult to diagnose at this age, because so many of the behaviours are normal for the age group. Many parents of kids with Aspergers struggle to get a diagnosis and report frustrating delays because their 'feeling' wasn't listened to. This is doubly frustrating, because the studies show that the earlier intervention can occur, the better the long-term outcomes.
I would definitely insist on a referral to a peadiatrician, as they are the start point for a diagnosis. Usually, they will check for any health issues or significant problems, then refer you on to a child psychologist for testing. In the mix, either the GP or peadiatrician should also refer you to a speech therapist. The reason I would insist on this process, is that if you - the Mother - feel that something isn't right, wouldn't you at least rather have the peace of mind of a clean slate, or else the tools to deal with whatever it might be?
Having said all of that, everything your son is doing could well fit into the 'normal' band; even the delayed speech - I think it was Einstein who didn't speak until he was 4 (probably not the best example, as current theory is that he probably had Aspergers). Seriously, I've got 4 children and they've ranged from talking (actual words) at 10mths, to about where your son is (the youngest). She got to "I want power" (with Mum-mum, Dad-dad, yes, no) - "power" was her word for everything and she had 3 big sisters who would run around working out which 'power' she wanted! Then, at about 2 1/2 she got frustrated with people not understanding her more complex thoughts and in the space of weeks went from about 5 words to full sentences; it was astounding.
It sounds like you have a beautiful son whom you love very much. Whatever happens, that won't change.

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Janessa - posted on 10/01/2012

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Gut instincts are usually right, usually I would say not to worry, but if your gut is telling you something is wrong, maybe you should get some second opinions. Good-luck.

Rachelle - posted on 09/28/2012

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Amber follow your gut! My son was along the same as you but with more prominent delays. I kept pushing, switched pediatricians, and finally got the help he needed. We ended with a PDD-NOS diagnosis which is on the autism scale. With the speech therapy, OT, and one on one training I have a son who is engaged and has about 15 words (he'll be three next month). Everyone kept telling me he would be fine...boys take their time...yadayada...now that he has the skills from the therapy his past delays really stand out. My son is brilliant and can take things apart and reassemble it's amazing. He just needed a bit of direction. You are a great mom for noticing the delay and acting on it!

Dawn - posted on 09/24/2012

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I always chalked up my son's behavior as "quirky" also, until my son turned about your son's age and it was acutely obvious, with his speech delay. He has a problem. I turned to speech therapy, who thought that yes, he is speech delayed, but his visits through his insurance would be better used for occupational therapy. When I took him for his evaluation, he finally got his diagnosis of SPD. I had to continue with OT until he turned three, which just happened, and now he is finally recieving Pre-K intervention services through the school district. There is help, and I suggest you seek out and find it. Trust your gut instinct, that's what makes you a good momma.

Michelle - posted on 08/11/2012

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If your gut says something is wrong seek more opinions. I find that usually my gut is right.

Laura - posted on 08/04/2012

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Jessica, bummer for that...my daughter was so sensitive to food preservatives that all packaged goods were out of bounds for quite awhile...

Jessica - posted on 08/04/2012

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sorry to tell you Laura but i started my son on a no crap diet the moment he could eat and he has a form of autisum he has always acted like a hyper little kid and when he was younger at playgroup i had mom saying that he must live on a diet of junk food i was not happy when i found out they had said that, we had a health food lady come and talk to everyone about our kids diets and it worked out my son was on the best diet compaired to theirs and i was the youngest mom there!

Jess - posted on 07/26/2012

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My son was a late talker too, I bought flash cards (very bright bold ones) and he loved them, but the only way he could have them was to at least attempt to say what the picture was on them. Each time he tried, he could take it, it took a little while but helped a lot. also, is your son in day care? I found that even one day a week with other children really helped my sons language skills. good luck!

Sara - posted on 07/09/2012

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This sounds very much like autism my friends child would not eat and they did it would only be purée foods and they only say about 6-10 words but I would look into it maybe get a second doctor to check him out or even try going to a community health baby clinic if u have them were u live as most of the lady's that work there are nursers.

Melissa - posted on 07/05/2012

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There are other options besides going to the doctor. Look for a local educational agency that does early intervention - in Pennsylvania they are called intermediate units. All of them will test for Autism and/or other early developmental delays. I think you should definaltey check it out. Autism is best treated when you are able to start therapy in the early years. I don't know why doctors don't at least refer parents to these type of agencies. It is all FREE there should be no cost to a parent for the testing or the services. If you aren't sure where one may be by you, call your local school district. They may be able to direct you to the right agency.

Jessica - posted on 06/29/2012

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my son has always been really social and talks all the time altho he couldn't speak real words till he was about 3 but he has a for of autisum have a look at Aspergers syndrome cos it could be that he may have that? but your son sounds like he has a form of autisum

Amber - posted on 06/29/2012

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In the mean time has anyone's child ever went days without eating? I know not to make a huge deal out of it bc a lot of it is a control issue. And he is very healthy and like I said in the 80 percentile so he's by no means under weight.. It is sooooooo dang aggravating when he locks his lips together!

Amber - posted on 06/29/2012

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I called around and it turns out our town CoOp offers evaluation,! They also said it is at no cost no matter your income( we are in that middle class situation where we make too much for help, but we don't make enough to afford much extra, so that was great news!

Christine - posted on 06/29/2012

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Check to see if you have a local child development office. Ours is free for any kid under 3, they will do developmental test on your child and let you know where they are lacking or thriving and if there is anything you should be worried about and for other signs to look for if that is the case. Now that's in PA but I am in WI right now on vacation and they had a table at one of the ball games and there is up to age 5, so I assume most states have these.

Karen - posted on 06/29/2012

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Contact you county school system to see if they (or the county) offer early intervention services for children. They should do a full evaluation to see if there are any issues with development and things like that. I have 2 kids who have both been through the early intervention services in my county (Prince William County in Virginia - they call it the PIE - Parent/Infant Education Program).

My daughter (6 now) was delayed on everything (sitting up, crawling, walking) - it was determined that she was developmentally delayed and has low-tone. She met with a special ed teacher and speech therapist 1x per week once she was evaluated. Now that she's started school (just finished Kindergarten this year), the school did a full evaluation on her and found her to have an Intellectual Disability so she continues to receive special education services, speech therapy, and physical therapy. Our pediatrician kept telling me not to worry about the fact that she wasn't sitting up on her own by 7 months or crawling by 9 and 10 months - she finally started crawling at 13 months and didn't walk until 17 months. We took the advice of our pediatrican and tried not to worry or compare our daughter to other kids that were younger and doing all of these things - we finally contacted the county and got her evaluated.

My son (4 now) refused to eat baby food or anything pureed - he only wanted milk/formula or crunchy things like pretzels/crackers/puffs (even though he didn't know how to swallow them). We also had him evaluated through the PIE program (at a much younger age because we were smarter about things by then) and found he had a sensory issue (food texture issue) and they started feeding therapy with him. He's much better now and eats a whole variety of things (although still not some of the pureed stuff like applesauce or much fruit - no strawberries, blueberries, etc.).

I would recommend you contact your school system or county and ask about services!

We also found a pediatrician that is a developmental specialist - focusing on developmental delay, autism, and mental retardation (intellectual disability).

Julie - posted on 06/29/2012

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Everyone told me my son was fine. he was exhibiting almost all of the same behavior and problems. I decided to have early intervention evaluate him anyway. at 2 and a half he had a severe enough beach deficiency for free therapy. he was diagnosed with a cognitive delay that he has now overcome, and also a sensory disorder but between therapy and school he now transitions from 1 activity to another much more smoothly. every child is different so he may have no problem at all, but most states offer some form of free evaluation. so it's worth looking into and best case scenario they find nothing wrong and at least you have peace of mind that you checked.

Lauren - posted on 06/29/2012

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One more thing...my son's friend didn't speak until she was about 3 years old--not even a few words. But now, as a 5-year-old, she is a social butterfly and speaks very well. They took her to a speech therapist for awhile, which I think did help, but I also think she was following her own beat!

Lauren - posted on 06/29/2012

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Amber, you are smart for identifying that you want to determine why he exhibits these behaviors--and that his doc is blowing you off. I recommend getting a second opinion--or perhaps meet with someone trained in behavioral patterns/autism to see if he's displaying mild habits. One of my closest friends focuses her entire careers on varying behavioral patterns and the range of functions for autistic/asberger children. There are many, many people who are very high-functioning people who have autistic tendencies, and they are able to do anything anyone else would. And you can help your son without him feeling like there's something "wrong" with him.

If your doc is blowing you off, I think you need to speak with someone else because there are strategies/habits you can implement to help your son feel more comfortable in difficult situations.

Also, if you want to discuss more, let me know via email (adverbs227@gmail.com). I'd be happy to put you in touch with my friend as well.

Amber - posted on 06/28/2012

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Wow,, thank you everyone from the bottom of my heart! I have been feeling very alone in all this and just getting your help and advice makes me much more at ease. I made an appointment with my sons ped. And told them it was to discuse his progress. I will be asking about a speech therapist for sure. I just don't want people thinking I'm one of those moms who thinks there is something wrong with there kid when everything is absolutely normal. I just need to stop worrieing what people think and just go with my gut, even if it is just for my own peace of min.d. Thank you again!.

Laura - posted on 06/28/2012

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I have 3 kids, 6 grandkids....ALL DIFFERENT! My son didn't talk until 3, walk until 15 months (tho crawled by 6 months), he was annoyingly neat and organized for a child so young yet a very sweet & charming child; he ate whatever you put in front of him, but was in the 25th percentile of height/weight His son, grandson #2 hated crawling, walked at 8 months and was talking a blue streak by 2; however, he struggles with change, anyone touching his stuff and focuses to the point of obsession. He's the pickiest eater I've ever seen but in the 99% group. He's sweet, very loving and wonderful with his younger sister...but don't piss him off, he'll howl like a wounded animal and its tough getting him calm again.

I really think your son falls into the edge of normal/Aspergers...which makes me think he can be managed by planning ahead, communicating with him (we're going to the grocery store, then the bank then to grandma's...etc, not just 'get in the car let's go). The more clued in some kids are, the less negative behavior they have. He'll learn those coping skills in a more 'parallel' way until negative reactions are minimal.

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that does sound a bit weird, especially the hand flapping. i would recommend getting a 2nd opinion. it could be nothing or it could be the beginning signs of something

Deanna - posted on 06/28/2012

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Have you talked to your doctor about Autism Spectrum Disorder? That sounds a lot like ASD

Amy - posted on 06/27/2012

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My son has sensory problems although he's never been treated for them he's 6 and he was talking sentences by 18-19 months. He is a very picky eater, and is only in the 10th percentile for weight, his motor skills have always been poor although they are getting better. My daughter on the other hand is much more coordinated than my son and has better motor skills. However her language is not at the same levels my son was at. At 27 months she has just started putting 2-3 words together and this has been in the past month. We had birth to 3 come do an assessment on her when she was 18 months old because she wasn't speaking at all.

If you don't feel you are getting anywhere with your pediatrician you can contact birth to 3 if you are in the states they come right to your house and do the assessment. They were fantastic and although we didn't qualify for services they did give us a detailed assessment and things we could work on to develop our daughters language skills. However after 3 in order to get services you will have to go through the schools and it can become more difficult. Below is a link for a sensory processing checklist, the website has a lot of useful information!

http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.c...

Louise - posted on 06/27/2012

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I think at the very least you need to be seen by a speech therapist because he should be talking by now, this is the most important issue here. If I were your doctor I would of sent you for a hearing check as this is a common cause of speech delay. Glue ear is very common and is easy to rectify.

As for the other bits two out of three of my kids have done what you describe. Everything has to have a place and if we do go off schedule they got very unnerved and unsettled. My son was always putting things in order and stacking things and my daughter is doing the same now especially with plastic animals. Every animal has to have a mate and be stood the same way or she gets really upset. The good news is, is this is a sign of a gifted child, my son now 21 was in the gifted and talented programme as soon as he started school and is now at university studying two degrees at the same time. My daughter is also very bright and it is looking that she is going the same way. So dont be upset by his behaviour, get the speech sorted out and then work from there. Good Luck.

Amber - posted on 06/27/2012

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I think my doctor blows me off because he is so social and loving. I don't think it's autism but are there sensory problems that could cause the behaviors of not eating and not speaking.. I only ask because they both have to do with his mouth, and thought maybe they could be connected in some way. I just wish I had more peace of mind.

Emily - posted on 06/27/2012

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Have you talked with his pediatrician about these behaviors? Maybe he/she can help you eliminate any concerns you have. That would be my first step. get an appointment for him to see the pediatrician and go from there

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