Am I a bad mom?

Nicole - posted on 10/30/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I have a 28 month old son. He very rarely listens to anything I tell him, he throws tantrums all the time to the point where I can't even drive in the car for 15 minutes without him screaming about something. Taking him out in public is out of the question. The second we go out he's running around getting into everything and just won't sit still....ever. Oh, and he's ALWAYS hitting and kicking me...always. I have a 13 year old daughter and I was always adamant about not spanking, I always felt it was mean, and really didn't make sense to hit a child when you're telling them not to hit. So I've always used the time out method. Well it's gotten to the point with my son that I've lost control, of him and myself. I've been spanking him on his butt and I've screamed at him twice, pretty badly, like the kind that hurts after.....and I didn't even feel bad right after...now I do. I feel like a failure, like my kids deserve a more patient and calm mom who never yells. I yell a lot. It doesn't even work, because still, nobody listens to me. I'm so fed up.



And I am SO exhausted from nursing school, 2 jobs and bill on top of bill etc. BUT I feel like thats no excuse to yell like that ever. I need help. My life is out of control and I don't want my kids to suffer because I don't know what to do. I honestly feel like somethings wrong with my son, like he has ADD or something because I don't see other 2 year olds acting like him. I get so overwhelmed that I want to send my kids to live somewhere else, isn't that horrible?...I have school full-time and work 2 jobs and rarely ever get a day off and I come home to my house in a chaotic mess and my 13 year old has the worst attitude when I ask her to help clean. I need to gain the respect of these kids but I don't know what to do....please help me someone.

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Melissa - posted on 11/09/2012

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my son is 3 and he is axactly the same way. he hits constantly throws things at me or other people throws tantrums in stores and yells at me telling me to shut up and mean things likes he going to cut my head off.. im having a really hard time controlling him as welli give him time outs and i feel the same way about spanking whats the point when your trying to teach its wrong to hit! i am on depression pills and they seem to help with my everyday struggle to keep my son occupied and not destroying my house... when i try time outs he throws tantrums its quite horrible and can be sometimes embarassing but im going to stick with what i know and try different things that other moms have advised and hope for the best:)

just thought id share my situation with you so you dont feel like you the only one with a wild toddler! good luck

Rachel - posted on 10/30/2012

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I'm sorry. You have a lot on your plate right now!

The only thing I can say that I know works is being consistent. Even if your child does have ADD or ADHD, that's no excuse to get away with being fresh. My oldest son has ADHD but he still has to follow rules and be respectful and he can.

I suggest continuing time outs, even if you have to put him back in over and over again. It's going to be frustrating but eventually, it will stick.

As for the older child, being consistent with her will help as well. I know sometimes when my oldest is acting up I tend to want to give in, just to keep him quiet but whenever I did that. He would just get worse.

I had to stick to my guns on everything.

Kids with ADHD need structure and consistency. If they don't have that, they can be really hard to deal with.

Good luck :)

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