Any advice on remaining "calm" with misbehaving toddler!? Help!

[deleted account] ( 6 moms have responded )

Hi there



I have a beautiful 22 month old daughter whom i love DEARLY! She is the apple of mommy's eye! it just feels as though sometimes (most times actually) if she misbehaves, that i dont have the patience to deal with her like "most calm mothers" do. I tend to find myself shouting at her alot and it makes me feel awful beacuse i should have more patience with her and i should deal with her calmly. I am a single mom and i love my little princess with all my heart, any advice on how to "remain" calm when it comes to my patience running out?!

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Barbara - posted on 06/12/2012

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Instead of giving her a time out, take one yourself. I've put myself in time out when I feel like I'm going to lose it, and even told her "mommy is in time out". She generally stops misbehaving, and tries to get mommy out of time out, but I take a second to cool off before dealing with her behavior.

Also, when I'm REALLY frustrated I will sometimes just put her in her crib for a few and go to my room for a minute. Yes, she's crying in there and maybe through her animals out, but I'm getting my calm back together which is much better than yelling. I've only had to do this twice, so it's not like I'm isolating her and leaving her daily or something. But sometimes you do what you need to do to regain control.

Also, it helps to repeat "she's only 2, she's just a baby really" and to remind myself that mostly she acts out because she's frustrated and can't adequately express herself. I tell her to calm down and use her words a lot. I try to help her with that, they understand sooooo much more than they can express. Ask her questions that she can answer yes and no to. Also, I do use a modified time out, she goes to time out, but she is permitted out when she says "I'm sorry" and gives hugs and kisses.

My daughter's biggest issues are with waiting, if she wants something, she wants it now... waiting until after dinner or after school or later in anyway is VERY hard for her. The concept of time thing... that's mainly what sets my daughter off right now. Also, when she's tired, or particularly overtired.

Good luck!

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Katherine - posted on 06/12/2012

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I yell at my 3 year old and I'm a single mom as well. My ex only takes them on Saturdays. So it's very frustrating! I try not to because she's so sensitive, but you don't have to be one of those "calm moms." In fact they are rare. Everyone has their breaking point.

Like Barbara said, take your own time out. Re-group, and then try to deal with the situation. If she tantrums, ignore it. What exactly does she do? Not listen? Typical of this age. Throw things? Typical again. The more you learn to accept that the easier it will be :)

Megan - posted on 06/12/2012

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My son is going to be three and of course there are times when my patients with him does run short I just try to remember that I need to set a good example for him because if I go around shouting at him he will think that its an appropriate way to communicate his feelings too and his behavior will end up getting worse. It does get better with time hang in there :)

Reshma - posted on 06/12/2012

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I do understand your suitation I have 29 month old daughter....most of the time I too run out of patience....and yell at her and later feel guilty. But later when she is fine I talk to her about the whole happening and she seems to understand at times and ensures she does not repeat.

But this is only a knowing that we are not yelling at them just like that and they need to know that doing wrong things at the wrong place is a bad behaviour. Cheer up it will soon be well

Yasmine El - posted on 06/12/2012

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i can feel what u r been through i have a twin boys . i ran out of patience all the time :)) i yell to them . but after a while i feel guilty so everytime i think about yelling to them i make myself remember how i have guilty after doing this . it worked for me , um now more calm than before :)

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