At My witts ends...help???

Holly - posted on 03/15/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )

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my daughter is 22.5 months be two may 3rd,and i cant get her to stop throwing everything an hitting.today was the worst when we were on the bus she took her cup an chucked it an hit a woman in the leg,then threw her bunny. we also have incidents with my friends daughters all the time they are 4.5 an 1. she is always hitting,pushing an even sat on the little one an put her hand over her face. i always tell her no that it is bad an put her on time out,taking things away an taking her home but nothing works.

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Ellie - posted on 03/17/2011

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small things. get her to start feeling her way into empathy. the bunny for example, you would take that situation to pick up the toy and in a sad voice, "ow! that hurt! what did your bunny do to deserve that?" have her apologize to the bunny (and the lady). also, if you are taking her away whenever she hits, perhaps she is hitting to get you to take her away. time-outs are the ole standby, but if your child is acting out because her goal is to escape, giving her a time-out is just reinforcing it. if you're visiting friends and she is not having it, stay. make it clear that you are the one who says when you stay and go. this also means you should try short visits. hopefully your friend will back you up on this. she could also be doing it for the attention; scolding a child may seem like a punishment in your mind, but it can be a form of attention to the child. try to replace it by catching her when she's good. when riding on the bus and she is sitting quietly for a few seconds, whisper that you're proud/happy that she's sitting so nicely. tell her she should be happy/proud, too, because people will look at her and see a well-behaved girl and be impressed (going on the attention boat here). finally, the bribe. "if you can sit quietly for this bus ride, i will give you (blank)." something small, like ONE jellybean, or a sticker, or getting to push a button on your phone, or whatever she likes that you can have with you easily. it HAS to be small, because if you give her the big song and dance right away, she won't care what else you have to offer later. she earns a sticker, picks it from the sheet, sees two she wants. tell her she can get it by being good, the way you expect her to (not throwing stuff, or hitting other kids). good luck, and have faith in your kid.

Elizabeth - posted on 03/17/2011

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I think we all know THE child that we dread coming out to the play center or school and it's even worse to realize that ..it might be your child. The good news is you can make it stop. Punishment for a child her age and with her temperment has to be fast and immediately to the point. Keep in mind that a child her age sometimes has to be reminded of a certain situation 30 or 40 times before it clicks



Try administering a time out exactly this way:



1-Take her to the designated spot calmly

2- kneel down so you are eye to eye and say very plainly so she will understand .."it is NOT okay to hit or throw, you are on time out for 2 minutes because you misbehaved"

3- set the timer and do NOT talk to her while on time out..if she leaves..put her back and start the timer again

- if you have to put her back 40 times then do it because next time she will know you mean business

4- when she has stayed for 2 minutes kneel down and ask "do you know why you are on time out?" and answer if she doesn't ..explain that it cannot be done again and that you love her ..tell her she needs to say I am sorry and then hug her



It sounds like you have a very spirited child. Spirited children..from my experience are very intelligent as well.

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Vicky - posted on 03/18/2011

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Hi Holly, one thing I found super helpful is finding games you can do on the bus. Keep her so occupied she won't think about throwing things. In some ways she is doing that for attention. And if you make things fun, the time out seems more meaningful as she is loosing the previlege to play with mommy. this comes from a mommy that has 2 very strong headed children.

Holly - posted on 03/17/2011

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thanks guys. i have been doing the catch her in the act,putting her to time out,having her say sorry to the person an explaining what she did wrong. the bribe does NOT work lol,cause if i dont give her what i tell her she can have if she behaves she makes a huge loud scene. she is very intelligent..too much so i think some days. here recent umm how do i say acting out is pooping in her diaper then painting it on the wall. today was the third time in a week. tonight i put her sleeper on backwards so she cant unsnap it hoping successful. i will continue to try your suggestions.but i think my mom passed on the curse of how bad i was at that age :)

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