battle between my three year old son and love of my life

Erica - posted on 01/21/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My son will not listen to me or respect my authority. I'm also in a semi new relationship and my child's behavior and lack of respect for my partner is starting to drive a wedge in between us. This person is the love of my life and I do not want to lose this relationship because of my three year old. Any suggestions?

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Gigi - posted on 01/22/2013

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Your son's behviour should not be "driving a wedge" between you and your boyfriend. Your son is 3 years old, you can expect to have some issues now and then with his behaviour and I just don't see how is that making a problem for your relationship with your boyfriend. Also, I would expect that a 3 year old would be worried and behave worse if you bring a person in his life who he didn't choose.
Does your boyfriend have a problem with your son? If so, is he the right person for you? And lastly, using words like "love of my life" are a bit excesive, but if this guy is love of yor life, you won't loose him because your son is not behaving like a perfect kid.

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Cecilia - posted on 01/21/2013

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shouldn't your son be the love of your life? sorry but your wording is disturbing to me. I think having an issue with your sons behavior is fine, it happens. But to only want to deal with it because of a man.. eh.

Always keep order and a routine for a toddler. Same time for lunch, dunner, bath, bed time and an order for when is play time what time is outside time and such.

Along with that you need to be constant with punishment. If you use time out, do it the same way every time. Don't threaten to punish, just do it. He has one warning that if he doesn't stop the action [this] will happen. I don't really like timeout. Instead we do breaks. i pick her up and take her to a new place where she isn't reminded of what is making her upset. She sits on my lap and calms down.

Know what triggers your son and avoid it. If you know he's going to scream about having cookies instead of dinner, don't have cookies in the house.

Learn how to distract him from situations. Everyone does this different. With me mostly this is what i do all day. If she is upset because she wants to go outside and its snowing. I explain once why we can't. then ask if she wants to watch Alice in wonderland with me. Basically learn to change the subject and get them into something different.

Also learn to talk to them without yelling. it only makes the situation worse. You yell he will yell.

Janie - posted on 01/21/2013

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Tough!! Before the new love relationship was your son acting up?
Is he jealous?
Make sure you set up some special mommy/son time. He might jut miss having you all to himself.
Is the dad in the picture? Did dad say something not nice about the new love?
Hang in there and good luck!

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