Bed time drama - Help!

Jessica - posted on 08/19/2009 ( 10 moms have responded )

4

0

0

My son is 19 months old. I have never been a fan of the "let them cry until they fall asleep", I was just never comfortable with that. Generally we read a couple stories and rock for about five minutes before bed. I lay him down and that was it. For the last few weeks, that has not been the story! Instead, the minute I leave his room, it is bloody murder screaming. If I go in again, same thing. My husband goes in, rocks with him for a bit and then he is quiet for about fifteen minutes and screaming again. We have been going back and forth in his room for about an hour. I have let him cry for about five minutes and he does not ssem to slow down like he will stop. This is becoming too much, any suggestions?!

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Sheila - posted on 08/22/2009

3

0

0

My DS is 18 months and FINALLY sleeping through the night. What helped us was getting him out of the crib. He is in a toddler bed and sleeps comfortably. Is your son in a crib still? Before that all I can do is let him fall asleep in my bed laying down next to him and when he was in a deep sleep, Id carry him back to his crib.

Jen - posted on 08/22/2009

1,794

12

291

We did the cry it out thing, but I don't push it on people who aren't interested. My daughter is almost 21 months so pretty close in age to your son. Like one of the moms said above, make sure he has a comfort item to sleep with. For my daughter she has to have something soft to suck on (either a blankie or a stuffed animal). You could also try laying him down and rubbing his back until he goes to sleep instead of rocking him. I'm sure he's getting to tall to be rocked much longer lol :). For nap time at day care, they have to run my daughter's back in order for her to take her nap. Even with that she's always the first one up and the shortest sleeper lol. You could also try putting him down with music. My daughter has a music box with projector that we put on for 30 minutes and she's always asleep before it goes off. I hope something works. Good luck.

Barbara - posted on 08/21/2009

33

12

0

Well you may disagree and that's ok. We let ours cry it out. We have 6. But at that age ( he was doing well before hand) it may be something else. Is there a night light in his room? We do a routine with our kids. Does he have a blanket or stuff toy he likes. With our oldest, since he didn't have siblings yet, he had a stuffed snowman that went to bed with him, even on trips. Another idea is that maybe he wants to spend extra time with you and dad. When my husband was working long hours or days without seeing the kids, I saw (see) a difference in my children's behavior. Maybe one-on-one time with just mom or dad - like a "play date". Even going out to breakfast together helps. Otherwise, my husband and I held each other tight, because we have a lot of compassion, and let them cry it out. The first night is the hardest. It seems like an eternity. The second night - you realize it didn't last as long. Soon they'll be putting themselves to sleepwithout crying. I understand where you're coming from. There were times we went against our resolve to Let them cry it out". But it made it harder the next time around. Just some ideas - hope it helps.

10 Comments

View replies by

Nicole - posted on 08/17/2010

21

11

2

Hi. I have a daughter who just turned 2 and in the past 6 months or so it's been up and down bedtime routines that work and that don't work. She has also gone through numerous stages with whether she throws a fit regarding bedtime. For a while (she was still on a bottle) she'd take her bottle and then we'd say good night and put her to bed. She'd stay in bed for the night (awake or not) she'd play a little and then go to sleep on her own...then one night all of a sudden she wouldn't go down liek that anymore...total meltdown and it was a nightmare event trying to put her to bed. Then one night about 2 months of this torture she started goign to bed good again. Now she has this rule (and it's her's and we don't know how to stop it) but she won't let anyone but me put her to sleep. (if dad trys she screams for mom)...but anyways...needless to say...I found this out about children...just when you as the parent is ready to completely have a breakdown and loose your mind they change. I remember she didn't sleep through the night for 10 months and then finally one night when I couldn't take it anymore (totally crying etc. because I was so tired) she magically slept through the night. Hang in there and try different things...I honestly found that talking to your kids (they understand more than what you think) works. Tell them that you're going to bed too and that tehy're not missing anything and that everyone in the house is going to bed. My daughter asks about everyone when I put her to bed. I also put a lamp in her room and started telling her that when teh lamp goes on it means that she has to go to bed. You might be a little ways away from complete understanding but keep talking to them and they will listen.

Good Luck.

Shaina - posted on 08/17/2010

23

10

0

Most people aren't a fan but I let my daughter watch tv after she helps clean up her toys. I turn all the lights off and I bring the sound to were I can hear but can't understand what they are saying. Sometimes she falls asleep and I have to put her in bed but if I can catch her before I ask her if she's ready to go nite-nite and if she says no I tell her I'm almost ready and we can watch a few more minutes, if she says yes I have her grab a toy and blanket, let her turn the tv off and walk to bed. In there we play with the toy a little bit, which is usually a baby doll and she has to put the baby to bed then I tell her goodnight. Alot of times I have to stay until she falls asleep but the tv makes her tired and she doesn't wake up. I hope this helps.

Jayme - posted on 08/17/2010

30

13

1

tell him when ur reading ur last book that after this book its time for all babys to go to sleep an thats hes to go in his bed than do ur normal an stay in the room with him sit there r stand an wait for about 10 min intill hes asleep he may of seen something r heard something that scared him an by u staythere hell c that its ok

Jen - posted on 08/24/2009

1,794

12

291

Quoting Jessica:

Thanks for all of the suggestions! With the cry it out thing, just wondering - is there a "It's been long enough" point? My son crys so hard to where he is gasping and barely breathing. I have tried getting him to want a stuffed animal or somehting, but he only wants a blanket - doesn't matter which one! I don't think it is an issue with spending time with us. We really do a great job juggling everything. We did recently bump his bed time out an hour, thinking maybe he was not needing as much sleep, seems to be a little better. I've started trying the rubbing his back, not working yet - but I will keep at it! He has no problem with nap time - goes right out? We do have music playing in his room, no light and he is still in a crib. Any other suggestions, let me know! Thanks.


The rule of thumb is let them cry for 10 mins. then go in to comfort them without picking them up out of the crib, remind them that it is bed time, and leave. If you have to go back in again in another 10 mins that you do the same thing again and again if it's needed. You can also tell by their cry whether they're crying because something is wrong or if they're crying because they are fighting sleep. Do you have a night light in his room? He may be scared of the dark and it's not dark when he takes his nap so that may explain why he's fine at nap time. Just a thought.

Jessica - posted on 08/24/2009

4

0

0

Thanks for all of the suggestions! With the cry it out thing, just wondering - is there a "It's been long enough" point? My son crys so hard to where he is gasping and barely breathing. I have tried getting him to want a stuffed animal or somehting, but he only wants a blanket - doesn't matter which one! I don't think it is an issue with spending time with us. We really do a great job juggling everything. We did recently bump his bed time out an hour, thinking maybe he was not needing as much sleep, seems to be a little better. I've started trying the rubbing his back, not working yet - but I will keep at it! He has no problem with nap time - goes right out? We do have music playing in his room, no light and he is still in a crib. Any other suggestions, let me know! Thanks.

Jessica - posted on 08/20/2009

4

0

0

Thanks, I will look into it. Co-sleeping stopped being an option with him at about 14 months - he just wants to play if he is in the same bed as me!

Becky - posted on 08/19/2009

13

12

2

I've become a big fan of Love & Logic. You might try a search on their site about bedtime. We're at 16 months and still co-sleeping most of the night after he starts in his crib. I would like to get out of this routine myself but you know... I am not a big fan of cry it out either. We did end up letting our daughter go at about 14 months and she did ok after about 3 nights. We would go in about every 5 mins and remind her we loved her but she needed to go to sleep. We will probably end up doing this with our son just not sure why we haven't yet. I think its cause we like to sleep without crying.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms