custody and moving question?

Brandi - posted on 03/29/2016 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My fiance has 2 children, they aren't mine. But I stay home with them everyday (house fiance?) take them to their appointments and do everything a mom does etc. I've been around them sense the almost-3-year-old was only 3 months old. the other one is 4 yo.I've been around both of the kids more than their biological mom has in their entire lives. she was diagnosed with multiple personality and bipolar disorder...shes only has supervised visitation rights for the passed 2 years and would go months without even asking about them or seeing them....at one point they didnt know who she was when we showed them pictures of her. But she recently got weekend custody of them (idk the correct term) and still barely takes them. But when she does take them, she texts my fiance (children's father) complaining that theyre being bad and she can't handle them and then she sends them home after a few hours of having them.(when shes supposed to take them the whole weekend) she put the almost-3-year-old in her van buckled up in his carseat because he was being bad for her and left him there alone. my boyfriend is going to try to get her supervised visitation rights back because she's proved she can't do it alone.....she lives an hour away from us already. But we live in New York right now and are planning on moving to Florida sometime in the next 3 years because my fiance's boss is opening up 3 stores down there and he will be the manager for all 3, and he is being proimsed more money than he's making now. And the school district we're in now isn't very good and im definitely positive we can find a school in FL that has better opportunities than currently. has anyone gone through anything similar? is there anything we can do to make the move more easy? will we be able to move across the country? the children's mother might try to fight us just to be a b**** about it....should we get a lawyer when the time comes to moving? my fiance mentioned to her that we will be moving out of state sometime and she didnt really have anything to say about it...but 3 years is a long time and things can change...thanks in advance!

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Raye - posted on 03/29/2016

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Sarah is right... document everything. And try to keep your emotions out of it as much as possible. Document the facts about her missed visitation, her bringing them back early, her neglect and bad "disciplinary" style. This evidence will help any petition the father files to modify the current visitation orders.

For your family to move, the father will have to prove to the court that the move is in the best interests of the children... that the opportunity your fiancé is given has benefits that can't be attained by staying closer to the mother.

I would suggest at least a consultation with a lawyer soon, to make a plan on the best way to move forward during the next few years. And then when it actually comes time to go to court and petition for changes, a lawyer would probably be helpful there as well.

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