Date night with the hubby, why can't I get him to commit?

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I'm trying to get my husband and I to try and work on getting a maybe once a month date night with no kids, just us, but it seems like once we have a plan something always tends to fall through. It's mainly, I feel, on his end. He says "oh we don't have the money" or I find out a day or two in advance that once of his friends is coming up to visit and didn't ask me about it. I'm getting very fustrated and now I jsut feel like he may be avoiding the night and just want to do things his way. I've talked with his mother and she and I are very close. She has had converstations with him whenever I'm not around with him and he tells her how much he does love me but I need some time to be alone with him to even see it. She already has told me she will watch the kids for us and even stated she would offer to give us the cash for a nice night out. I really like the offer, (mainly with watching the kids) but i refuse the money but its a nice guesture. I'm getting fustrated and I feel like screaming because its a daily routine, work, home, bed etc. the weekends are mainly about getting the house taken care of and there is never a night where its just me and my hubby, even if we put the kids to bed, he will end up watching tv and passing out on the couch. I have no idea what else to do. -.-

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Daniela - posted on 04/06/2013

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Hi Mary,

I'm the mother of a very active soon to be one year old, and a military spouse, which (for my husband and I) means we rarely ever get a night out since we aren't as blessed to have family near to babysit. I can understand how you feel to want some one on one time with the love of your life. When our daughter was born we basically stayed home and it took us a couple of months to finally have a date for ourselves. The husband wasn't too interested in going out either, mainly because we were just too exhausted. Laying on the couch didn't sound too bad. But now that things are slowing down and our daughter is getting more independent we are trying to make a slightly better effort in finding time for each other. It's so important for you guys to remain best friends, and be able to communicate when someone is making the other feel somewhat neglected. It's so easy to neglect our spouses without even catching ourselves doing it, with trying to keep the home tidy and the children bathed and dinner ready, our lives just become so busy. I say why not try pillow talking about it once the children are sleeping at night. Let him know you want to dedicate some of your time just for him for a change. Leave the house upside down on the weekend for a change. Take him somewhere he's been wanting to go or to do something he likes. Maybe that'll get him a little more interested in the trip. Hope this helps -xoxo

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