Daughter Talking Back

Terah S. - posted on 06/21/2015 ( 8 moms have responded )

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3 year old daughter has begun to talk back. She says she "doesn't like me" or "doesn't want me." Today I said "pull your pants up" and she replied "It's a skirt, duh." She plays to my husband's sympathy or attention and generally prefers him. Is this normal? If so, how should I deal with it?

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Nicole - posted on 06/22/2015

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My 3 year old daughter is doing the same. I have asked other moms they say it's normal at this age to favor one parent over the other.. it's because possibly the other parent being to soft which isn't the case for me. I'm the soft one her father is the strict one yet when I say no she's constantly going to him ..you and her father need to be on the same page or she's never going to listen to you . If you say no he needs to stand by you on your discipline or come to a common ground depending on the situation.. it's not that she doesn't love you and I have to tell my self this . Its that shes feeling put both you and him and as I've been told girls cling to there fathers cause they get there way..again have to be a team...I hope this helps...

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Terah S. - posted on 06/22/2015

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I hear you! Counseling was helpful in establishing what is normal and acceptable behavior for our three year old. My husband and I did not agree on when or if she was being naughty. He tends to dummy down kids, thinking they are not capable of pushing buttons, acting defiantly, minipulative, etc. The male counselor was able to open his eyes a bit as far as that's concerned. The biggest thing is to have a neutral place to discuss explosive topics and a mediator to make sure the discussion stays on topic. We only went 2 or 3 times, but it was helpful. With me, sometimes I think by daughter is trying to hurt me,but I can't figure out why she would want to do that?

Nicole - posted on 06/22/2015

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I unfortunately hide my feelings cause if I don't she'd see my cry.. it gets so frustrating
When she gets into her tantrums. . I start to blame myself like maybe she's acting out cause she's to spoiled I'll admit I do spoil her as of right now she's my only child. I think that's why.. I am learning I have to stand my ground I was the one not fallow in through with discipline for so long. My fiance and I argue over discipline like sometimes I feel he wants to put her in time out for every little thing she does when toddlers are rambunctious and don't necessarily always know there doing something wrong if that makes sense .. I've honestly thought of seeing a counselor every fight my fiance and i have is over our daughters behavior it's tuff .. has counseling helped you and your husband?

Terah S. - posted on 06/22/2015

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Nicole - that is helpful, thank you. My husband is easier in some ways. He yells alot, I almost never yell. He is inconsistent, a lot of empty threats that he doesn't follow through with; I am very consistent. We have had alot of talks about this very issue and even went to a counselor. Sometimes we are on the same page, but mostly, he can't seem to help himself. When she talks back or says "I don't want you, " it really hurts my feelings. Do you show your daughter how you feel or hide it?

Terah S. - posted on 06/21/2015

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I don't know. I adopted her two years ago and I suppose I have fears that she may reject me when she finds out?

Nicole - posted on 06/21/2015

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Children can reflect the conscious and subconscious beliefs (fears, upsets, etc) of their parents. Is there anything in her behavior that you can identify with?

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