Dealing with this DBD situation?

Alison - posted on 07/21/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )

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To make a long story short, My ex boyfriend hasn't seen our 3 year old daughter in 2.5 years. No contact and no child support. In May, out of nowhere he paid one payment of child support and took me to mediation to start seeing her. We agreed on one visit and go from there. We had a date, time, and place set up and he never showed up. He emailed me the day he was supposed to show up and said that it wasn't worth the drive to only see her for 2 hours and that he should see her for 8 hours even though she has no idea who he is. After backing out of meeting her after the first mediation, instead of talking to me, he just took me back to see the mediator a second time. We agreed on 4 2-hour supervised visits every other weekend until he could prove that he can be consistent in my daughters life and also for her to get to know him. That was 2 weeks ago. The night after mediation, he emailed me saying that last saturday didnt work and asking if he could start seeing her on his paydays every other weekend. I agreed and said that the next saturday would work if it works for him. I haven't heard from him since and tomorrow would be the 3rd time that he would have a chance to meet his daughter and is backing out. I am SO pissed. I am just happy that I haven't told my daughter about him yet, because she would be disappointed. At first, I felt like having him in my daughter's life would be a great thing, but after ignoring me and making excuses to not see her, I feel like she would be better off without him around. She doesn't have disappointments in her life, she is a very happy, loving girl and with him popping in and out saying "im your dad" and then disappearing (which will obviously be what hes doing since he wont even meet her one time even tho he has taken me to mediation twice saying he wants to be her parent now) would be horrible and detrimental to her! Why make her have that horrible disappointing feeling after 3 years of being such a happy kid. What would you ladies do??

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Katherine - posted on 07/21/2012

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Well he is her dad.......I would talk to the mediator for advice on what to do. My first instinct would be to cut all ties, but I wouldn't want her to hate me later in life because that's what I decided to do. It's a hard decision to make. I can't really tell you what to do, but speak to the mediator.

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