Do I really want another baby?? Help

Paige - posted on 07/16/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I have really had baby fever lately! And my husband keeps saying no but it sounded like he wouldn't mind having another one when I talked to him today.. My son just turned one and if I got pregnant soon I would have a baby before his second birthday.. I'm torn in between if I want one or not. My brothers were almost 2 years apart and they are really close but I know it would be hard to have them close together. And it actually makes me feel guilty thinking about another baby cause I want all my attention on my son.. I need help and any advice please!

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Chet - posted on 07/18/2014

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We have four kids. The oldest was five and a half when the youngest was born, so they're close in age.

Before each baby came I could not imagine how a new baby was ever going to fit into our family, and I did worry some when we went from 1 to 2 about our first child suffering. But then, it was always impossible to imagine life without that baby after it arrived. It sounds super corny, but you don't divide your love, you multiply it. It's hard when kids are very young and they're close in age, because it can be physically demanding, but that stage passes quickly.

Things were very chaotic during the years that our kids were babies and toddlers. We moved long distance several times. My husband was also unemployed multiple times, and he had to go away to work twice (once when I was pregnant with our third, and again when our youngest was two months old). It was manageable though, and I'm really, really glad that we had our kids as close together as we did.

The thing is, I knew what I wanted our family to look like in the end...

I knew that I didn't want just one child. When I thought about just one six year old or a single ten year old in the house that didn't feel like it was the family we were meant to have. I didn't like the idea of having a kids really far apart either. There's four kids in my husband's family, but there is five years between each child and they're more like four singletons than a sibling group. I didn't want a baby, and a kindergartener and a tween and a teen who were all at really different stages. And for me, I didn't want to spread child raising out for that long. My in-laws had their first child start school in 1972 and had their last graduate from high school in 1997.

I will tell you that the vast majority of people are happy with the age spacing they end up with though. You rarely meet people with huge regrets. Whether you have a baby now or well in the future I'm sure it will work out.

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