do i stay or do i go home?

[deleted account] ( 2 moms have responded )

in my past posts ive talked about my exhusband who was my boyfriend the past ten months, left us. I sit here day after day with my little toddler, working online to finish my degree that ive recently changed before he walked out on us, and i of course want to be close to my family....i live in arkansas, its beautiful, so many things to do around here and places ot see. i moved here from ks and so did he and he has family out here. im 33 yrs old and am lost in life....i feel like i worry soooo much and dont know what to do. he has only seen our daughter two hours in the month he has been gone. we are done, i dont want to be with him as he is. he fooled me into thinking wed be together for ever this time, seemed to be right at the time he was due in court in ks for past due childsupport alimony of 12k. we have had such bad luck the whole time ive been abck together with him. so since i signed away the past due child support that we were back together i feel so stupid. that was a year ago. now he makes about 3500 a month and is self employed, so theres no taxes or anything, hes a barber and is no filing anything currently. anyways, i have no one here, no one to go do things with and its hard to put on a smile to meet new ppl in this state of mind of him l eaving us without me having a job or any relatives here. do i stay here, where ive always wanted to live and make it on my own. or go back home for the second time in two yrs of living out here. when i had my daughter and lived in ks, i only saw my grandmother who is 83 now. she s the grandmother who makes you feel like youre so special. i barely saw my parents as they have their own lives and doing things with my younger brother and ssiter. they dont send gifts to my daughter or ever call me. i always call them. i have gotten ahold of my dad twice this year....he hates my ex and so does everyone else. but while i needed them and was pregnant no one was there and i was going through a divorce. i just really need the company. in ks, id have a problem finding a job, here he is paying all the bills til the lease is up in july, this is his guilty way of taking care of us since i am in school fulltime online and cant afford daycare. i feel like im wasting my life away the past month, doesnt seem like long, but feels like forever when youre lonely. i just cant believe he drives by our street to and from work everyday and never stops by. what would you do???

2 Comments

View replies by

Kay - posted on 03/12/2012

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Honestly? My first step would be to seek counseling, because it sounds like you have some issues with this relationship and lack closure.



My second step would be to go wherever there was someone to support me and help me become stronger. Only you know where that is for you guys, but I am going to go out on a limb and say that is probably with your family.

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