Feeling like the worst mom in the planet

Kathy - posted on 05/21/2012 ( 7 moms have responded )

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My kids are doing well at home, they play well with other kids, they sleep well and eat well. There is one area that makes me feel like I am the worst mom in the world.
We have been taking classes for a few months now. I go with them to their music class and play class each time. They do well as long as playing goes but once circle time starts (they required to sit down) they run wild. They can't sit down to listen to stories, they run all over the place insisting on playing, they sometime scream on top of their lungs because they are excited. At music class, they seldom follow instruction. They run all over the room, they climb on chairs, jump and scream because they are excited. In short they look out of control. How do I calm them down, how do I make them follow instruction?
Thanks

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[deleted account]

You just described story time for me with my daughter for the last 3 years, she still has trouble settling down. You are definitely not a bad Mom if this is the worst thing they do, you just have active and excitable kids and there is nothing wrong with children being enthusiastic. What I do with my daughter is just take her out of the room when she won't listen. This may mean you miss a lot or even the whole class a few times, but eventually if you're consistent that get that they'll miss out on things if they don't follow the rules. Like I said mine still has trouble, so there is always the possibility it just isn't the best activity for them, maybe something like gymnastics would be a better outlet. Good luck and have fun chasing those energetic kiddos.

[deleted account]

Don't feel bad!!!! You didn't say how old your children are, but I'm guessing they're toddlers? My son is VERY active, and between the ages of 2 and 3 I dreaded doing activities like the ones you mentioned for the very same reason you mention. Now that he is 5 1/2, I realize that he was just a young, active child, and I think he found some of the activities we did, quite frankly, boring. I wish in retrospect that I had spent less time trying to give him "time-outs," stern talking-tos, etc. and instead did more to find activities and classes that incorporated more movement and held his interest a bit better. He now does just fine in circle time and group activities--I think this has little to do with all my "time-outs" and stern talking-tos,and more to do with the fact that he's just older and more mature.

Elfrieda - posted on 05/21/2012

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When my two-year-old won't sit on his mat at story time at the library, I take him out of the circle, sit him on my lap with our faces really close together and give him a stern talking-to. Then I tell him what I expect from him (to sit and listen to the story, to take turns rolling the ball, etc) and he has to say, "Yes, Mama." If he doesn't seem compliant, I wouldn't go back to the circle, we would leave the library instead. But every time he's agreed and we've gone back and it was no problem.



It must be way harder with twins, but maybe if they can't behave they're not quite old enough for those classes. Or maybe something is happening right before that that makes it more difficult for them to behave, like it's coming up to naptime or maybe they get a cookie right before which hypes them up? I wonder if you could sit beside another mom who wouldn't have a problem with helping you with them. Sometimes a reminder from a stranger is way more effective than when it comes from mom!



Another idea: maybe sitting in a circle is just such a foreign concept to them that they don't really know what you want. If that seems like it's the case, maybe you could practice together sitting in a circle at home in preparation for the classes.

Kaitlin - posted on 05/21/2012

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oh boy, that must be bananas! My kids are 'irish twins' and they are troublemakers, but they have a bit of distance!
Anyway, my kids are climbers too. I tell them to save climbing for the playground (and then we go there as long as it's not too cold- if it's rainy, they have more fun).

Kathy - posted on 05/21/2012

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They do like climbing but I discourage them each time.

They are 2.5 years old twins.

Kaitlin - posted on 05/21/2012

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how old are they? We do a similar circle time with our library playgroup. My oldest knows that he needs to follow the rules during this time just like he must follow the rules at home- you can still have fun and express your excitement without running wild. I have put him in time out for openly disobeying, and, in one case, throwing toys (and endangering the younger kids) at playgroup. He gets one warning- I get down on his level and look at his eyes and tell him what he did, it's not allowed, and that he'll be in time out if he does it again, then if he does, he gets a time out (on a step or in a corner) for 2 1/2 minutes, while everyone else is still playing. He is 2 1/2, and has been doing time outs since a little before 2. My second is just getting the sit down for circle time theory, he is 19 months.

Keep your rules and expectations the same even when you go out. If they're allowed to climb on chairs and run around inside your house, they'll expect to do the same at playgroup. If they get disciplined at home for that behavior, do the same at playgroup.

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