Feisty 3 year old girl who doesn't care about consequences.

Shirelle - posted on 05/09/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )

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My three year old daughter is very independent. She wants to do everywhere herself and she becomes very angry if you try to help her. She is also very unkind to her loving 9 year old brother, they often only last 5 minuets together alone before she starts screaming and shouting at him. When this happens we tell him to come away from her and not to play with her. She has become physical with him biting, nipping and pulling his hair. Disciplining her is difficult as she doesn't seem bothered. We've tried the naughty step, sending her to bed early and taking toys away. We always give warnings and carry them out but she's not bothered. We need to learn how to deal with this behaviour. We would be very grateful for some tips.

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Michelle - posted on 05/15/2015

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Hi,

Young children try to become more independent as they get older, and try to assert themselves. That's part of their development into maturity. Sometimes, they aren't quite ready but they insist that they are. When things don't go their way, they don't quite know how to handle it.

As parents, we want to guide them to be good people and keep them "safe." Since your daughter doesn't care about the consequences you are giving her, then you need to find out what she does care about (e.g. spending time with friends, using the computer/tablet, ignoring her while she sits in timeout without any of her toys/dolls, playtime with whomever) and take those away. The other thing is to praise her and give her plenty of attention when she does do something that you like. Use a reward system. A star for each thing she does well, and after x amount of stars, she can get something from the dollar store or a piece of candy/ice cream or whatever it is that you agree on.

Hope that helps. Good luck!

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