Fighting over my stepchild

Victoria - posted on 10/07/2015 ( 2 moms have responded )

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So, I need some advice. My spouse and I constantly fight over his daughter. I don't have any children of my own. I love this little girl with everything inside of me as if she was my own but my spouse and his ex baby her like crazy. She is only 4 but it's the typical asking dad for something after I say no, throwing temper tantrums,and hitting. I feel the only way a child will learn is if they are taught. If I say no and she asks you and I tell you I said no you shouldn't give her what she wants. If she hits, she needs to be put in time out not hugged and told we love you don't hit us. I just feel like my spouse doesn't want to be the bad guy because his ex buys his daughter things all the time and literally gives her anything and everything she wants. I feel like I don't matter unless he needs me to when it comes to her and that isn't fair. This is my home, too. I want her to have respect and she doesn't because she knows she is going to always get what she wants from mommy and daddy. I also have disabilities. I am unable to work. I can't do much but when I can I get it done. My spouse works. I stay home with his daughter. She tires me out. He always complains I don't do anything. I cook, do laundry, and clean as much as I can but his daughter tears things out and puts things whereever and he doesn't make her clean up. I really need help. I love him and her so much and I don't want this to come between us. Talking is never an options because he doesn't want to be told how to parent. I just want to matter and when I say something, I want him to listen and take my words into consideration.

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Victoria - posted on 10/07/2015

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Third party? As in?

I feel a lot of it stems from how his ex is with his daughter. She spoils her beyond healthy. She thinks she will get the same here and any chance he can he does the same. He doesn't wanna be the bad guy. It makes respect and rules really difficult when that happens.

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