Has anyone seen my libido? Ran away after baby πŸ˜•

Colleen - posted on 12/16/2014 ( 6 moms have responded )

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I have a 16 month old daughter and am expecting my 2nd daughter in May 2015. Since having my first daughter, my sex drive is zilch, I mean like couldn't care less if I never have sex again. I never had a raging sex drive by any means, but hubby and I had a fairly normal sex life. My doctor and all the online research kept telling me "it will return once you stop breastfeeding". Well, that was 6.5 months ago...still waiting. I feel like its never going to come back. My hubby is trying to be understanding, but it's definitely affected our relationship, caused fights, and made the sex we do have soooo awkward and uncomfortable. I think about sex, but actually wanting to do it...no thanks. My doctor never tested me for a hormone imbalance or thyroid, just kept telling me it would return eventually. I'm starting to worry. And now with baby #2 on the way and all the newborn craziness, our sex life will really tank further. Anyone have any advice who's been there? Any supplements? Medications? I tried maca root prior to getting pregnant with my second, but had to stop it becaue it caused insomnia. I feel so helpless. I just want to desire my husband again. Any advice would be so welcomed to know I'm not alone, or what worked for you. Thanks!!!!!

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Michelle - posted on 12/17/2014

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There are 2 responses to your last post:

If you are still breastfeeding, doctors usually try not to give anything that will affect the breastmilk...so that might explain why she isn't giving you anything.

I strongly believe it is very important to have a ob-gyn (or any doctor, for that matter) that you like. This is one person with whom you share the most important details of your medical life, and most of the time, it could last for several decades. Don't "settle" for a doctor that you don't like.

Good luck!

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Colleen - posted on 12/17/2014

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I totally agree Michelle! Just waiting for the Ob I want to start accepting new patinets :)

Colleen - posted on 12/17/2014

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Thank you for your response! Yes, I asked my Ob for months and months and just got the same response, "it will return after you stop breastfeeding", and that there really wasn't much I could do. Now granted, this is my assigned Ob who I don't like much, I see a mid wife for prenatal. I think I need to change docs also. We have had nights out baby free and it hasn't really sparked much. I think after baby#2 comes and after we end breastfeeding, I will have some blood tests run. 😊

Michelle - posted on 12/17/2014

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Sometimes life just gets in the way...and sometimes, it could be hormones.

Have you brought it up with your ob-gyn? S/He can do a blood test to check out your hormone levels or even prescribe something that might help you. There are so many medical breakthroughs all the time that I cannot keep up, but I hear there is something similar to viagra for women as a possibility.

If everything healthwise is normal, then maybe you just need to hire a sitter (or ask for family help) so that you can allow yourself to relax enough to switch from "mom mode" to "wife/mate mode."

Good luck!

Colleen - posted on 12/16/2014

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Thanks for your comments. Yes, it stinks. You have this beautiful, amazing child, the light of my lif, but the spark in our marriage is snuffed. It's so not fair. I guess after baby #2 if it doesn't return I'll request hormone balance testing 😞

Haley - posted on 12/16/2014

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oh my... that sucks! It happened to me after my second child. I used to make up excuses why I didn't want to have sex but eventually I just had to have a conversation with my husband and let him know what was going on because it was causing us to fight and argue alot. My sex drive did eventually come back but I'm not sure what exactly made it come back. I think maybe just getting out of the house and getting back into my normal routine did the trick. I hope everything smoothes out for u and ur hubby :)

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