Hello! I have a highly sensitive child who is about to turn 5. I tried her in two different preschool classes and she has not done well in either one. She continues to be very withdrawn when in school. Does not seem to connect to other kids too well and has issues with children who are very outspoken and hyper. She upsets very easily and if something happens to upset her, no matter what I do, she is done and finished and does not want to go back and I cannot convince her otherwise. The last preschool I had her in she would not even play on the playground she would sit over to the side with the teachers and not talk to anyone. Or is another kid is crying she will go sit in the corner and cry to herself, she gets upset that easily. I was also a very sensitive child growing up, and I can remember what a nightmare school was for me. I was very withdrawn, did not connect well with most of the children or the teachers, as a result of that, my school years were horrible and not good memories for me. I do not want my daughter having to deal with that like I did. My biggest question I wanted to ask some of you with sensitive children is this: I have a niece who is the same age as my daughter and they both are very close and both will start kindergarten next year (2013). My nieces school will be a different elementary school from my daughters, however, they are not that far apart. The school closest to us is a bigger and newer elementary school and would be the ideal school for my daughter, except, it is bigger and my daughter does better in smaller crowds. She does not cope well in large crowds. My nieces school is smaller, older school, but it still has just as good ratings as the newer school my daughter would be going to. Anyway, I am thinking about putting her in the same school with my niece, even though it is a little further away, because my daughter is so excited at the idea of starting school with my niece that I feel maybe the idea of knowing that she has someone there in the school that she can rely on, is familiar with and would feel more secure being there that she might adjust better to the transition of being in a regular school and knowing that she has to go everyday. Some of my family is saying that that could set her up to think that she can't go to school without my niece being at any school with her and what if my niece changes schools in the future. I realize that they do have a point, but then again they do not know what it is like dealing with a sensitive child either. Can someone give me some advice who has a sensitive child who has dealt with this type of thing and how you handled it. I would greatly appreciate it. I have even thought of homeschooling her.

Melinda - posted on 01/01/2013 ( 5 moms have responded )

6

0

0

Mom of a highly sensitive child looking for advice on child starting school next year.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Amy - posted on 01/01/2013

6,467

33

2386

First of all is it even possible to send her to the other school? I know where I live you send them to the town you live in, you can't choose to go to another district, unless its a charter school which is usually done on a lottery system.

My son is pretty sensitive but doesn't seem as extreme as your daughter. We spent the last 3 months battling every morning and night because he didn't want to go to school, he's in first grade. For us there was no other option so no matter how much he cried in the morning he had to go to school, homeschooling isn't a possibility. It took 3 long months but he finally settled into the routine at school. I know he has anxiety problems but I went and listened to a child psychologist give a speech and the worst thing you can do for a kid with anxiety is to cave to that, meaning letting them stay home. Personally I would reach out to the school and see if they can place her with a teacher who is equipped to deal with her sensitivities and can find a way to get her to warm up. My son has had two amazing teachers in the past who have really brought him out of his shell.

5 Comments

View replies by

Melinda - posted on 01/02/2013

6

0

0

Hi Evelyn! Thanks for answering my post. No I have not talked to her doctor, maybe I should do that as she also seems to have extremely sensitive hearing. She can't stand loud noises like toilets flushing, those hand dryers in the bathrooms freak her out. Also we cannot take her to places like Chukie Cheese. She has been babysat by my mom and mother-in-law since she was 6 weeks old as I am a working mom. She has been around other kids. What time she spent in preschool, and also she goes to Gymnastics class on Saturdays, but that is a 45 minute class and I have to stay there with her. Yes I have gotten better with my sensitivities, but not until after I was married and older and realized that I was gonna have to try to come out of my shell some if I ever wanted to achieve some things in my life. So I made myself open up to people a little more. It was not easy being a sensitive person, I did not have a lot of friends. In my teenage years most people thought I was weird and just did not talk to me. People in the world do not respond well to sensitive people. Maybe I do need to find out if I should take her to a child psychologist to help her overcome some of this. I do not want her going through what I did growing up. Thanks again for your advice.

Melinda - posted on 01/02/2013

6

0

0

Thank you for your reply. The school my niece will be going to is actually still in my daughters district. Here as long as a school is in your county it is still considered your district and you have the option of sending your kid to any of those schools. It will just be a little further for me to drive. Maybe you are right about talking to the schools and see if either of them have teachers that have experience with that sort of thing. That would be a start and could help me make my decision. The only thing is I know that most schools now the teachers have so many students in their classes that they do not have time to take up with children who may need extra attention shown to them like my daughter. I know I had teachers who were mean to me when I was in school because they did not understand my sensitivities and thought I was just being lazy and shy when that was not the case at all. I had her in both preschools longer than 3 months and she may have made a little progress, but the teacher said she seemed to take 1 step forward and then it would be 2 steps back. I will talk to the school though. Thanks for the advice.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms