help

G - posted on 01/22/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )

11

0

1

My daughter is 19 months.My sister in law came to live with us with her 2 children(boy 8 yrs old n girl 4yrs old) 5 months ago after her husband passing away... The problem is her daughter doesn't like my daughter. She ignores her doesn't let her play with anything of hers pulls things out of her hands but yet plays with anything she wants of my daughter's. My daughter now hits herself when ever my niece comes into the room. It breaks my heart to see my daughter be treated this way nd now harming herself. I hope this doesn't effect her in the long hall. I tried to talk to my niece nothing is working. I feel terrible that she lost her dad but this behavior was going on way before that...

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Chet - posted on 01/22/2014

2,093

0

587

Many children suffer this sort of treatment from siblings, and they turn out fine. You should definitely work on the situation, but try not to worry about the long term impact on your daughter. Lots of toddlers have toys constantly snatched from them by older children.

Your niece has really been through a lot - her dad died, she had to move out of her home, and now she suddenly has a young toddler to deal with instead of being the youngest child in the house. That's so much! I would try to be as sympathetic as possible.

We have four children and I've found that I really had to teach them how to interact with babies and toddlers. There was a lot of coaching about how to ask for a toy, how to wait for a toy (toddlers often finish fast), how to find a different toy and "trade" for the one the baby has, how to put special things in a place where the toddler wouldn't see them or want them, how to get a toddler doing something so they leave you alone, etc.

Similarly, older children don't always know how to play with younger children. You may need to facilitate activities between them for awhile. You may need to shadow them closely and really help them when they are together for awhile.

Considering all your niece has has been through though, and the fact that she's only four herself, I would say this is going to take a fair amount of time and patience.

What are your sister's thoughts on the situation?

2 Comments

View replies by

G - posted on 01/23/2014

11

0

1

When it 1st started happening my husband tried to talk to her about it (it's his sister) nd it didn't go over well. She started screaming" r u kidding me she just lost her father" so since then I try to accept it for now. I feel terrible for what they are going through but its hard to watch ur child be treated this way that's y I joined this site so I can vent nd get other options on how to deal with this. I wish my sister in law would just try to help the situation.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms