help

G - posted on 01/22/2014 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My daughter is 19 months.My sister in law came to live with us with her 2 children(boy 8 yrs old n girl 4yrs old) 5 months ago after her husband passing away... The problem is her daughter doesn't like my daughter. She ignores her doesn't let her play with anything of hers pulls things out of her hands but yet plays with anything she wants of my daughter's. My daughter now hits herself when ever my niece comes into the room. It breaks my heart to see my daughter be treated this way nd now harming herself. I hope this doesn't effect her in the long hall. I tried to talk to my niece nothing is working. I feel terrible that she lost her dad but this behavior was going on way before that...

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Amrita - posted on 01/23/2014

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as i told u GG, plz keep your daughter AWAY from them It will affect her personality in longterm. No mater how tough it will be for you, shift and try not to contact them right now. Tougher that u find it now to be by yourself, u will be happy to have taken this decision few years later.

G - posted on 01/23/2014

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Ty for responding. I really needed to vent. I just looked up online some how to deal with the loss meetings. Im going to give information to my sis in law. Hopefully it could help her. In the meantime I have to watch the children closely nd hopefully in time my sister in law will realize she needs to correct her daughter when she sees this happening. For example this afternoon I bought 2 things of bubbles for the both of them.Later on I had to take laundry out of the drier so I left my daughter in the next room with my sister in law nd her 2 children. A few minutes later I heard my daughter crying so quietly I popped my head into the next room nd my niece is standing on the coffee table hold her bubbles with my daughter begging nd crying nd my sister in law sitting there. When my sister in law seen me she said to my daughter " u want ur bubbles from upstairs?"(me personally would have taking the bubbles away from her nd said if u guys can't play together then nobody will play with them)I removed my daughter from the room. At dinner tonight her son was teasing n ignoring his sister she started crying nd my sister in law starting yelling at her son saying" don't ignore her do u see how u r hurting her feelings" I don't understand how my sister in law doesn't see how this is affecting my daughter. (her niece) When

Amrita - posted on 01/22/2014

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NO. I would not let that girl (unfortunate that she lost her dad) but i would not let her come near my daughter if i were u. People who r gone, r gone, We cannot let little new kids of the world get affected by this. I empathise with her about her loss and she will take time to get herself back on track but her mother needs to work on her with this. Im pretty strict with my little boys on behaviour with others (my boys have never seen their dad, he left us when i was pregnant). But that does mean kids should be allowed to behave this way. It will only affect them. They need to be told fact of life and death in a way that they understand.
KEEP YOUR DAUGHTER AWAY FROM HER FOR NOW.

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