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Help i don't know what to do

Kayla - posted on 05/17/2010 ( 8 moms have responded )

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my daughter has turned in to screamer. and i dont know what to do. i know some of is for attention, and i know not to give her attention till she stops screaming. but usually she will scream for about 10-20 minutes and during her screaming she goes around hitting her head on things. This even happens when i tell her NO for something she shouldn't be doing. I live in an apartment and i don't want people calling the cops cause she is throwing a fit. Her screaming happens like almost every hour. It's hard to disicpline her cause my husbands mom will giver her attention when she screams and looks at me like i am so wrong for not holding her then she gives her candy. I have tried to tell her not to do that she need to learn, but she just ignores me. now my husband say this is all because of his mom. I don't know what to do i am a first time mom and i have never seen a child like her. HELP PLEASE!!!

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Mandy - posted on 05/17/2010

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I heard of this once and I've used it with my own children. Make it a game. Teach her that its okay to yell and scream outside, then go inside and show her how to be quiet. Keep at it until she understands the game. *shrugg* its worth a shot

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Heather - posted on 05/18/2010

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I'm also a first time mom and mine is doing the same thing. I think it's just a phase every kid goes through. I'm just now trying more consistency with the ignoring thing. My mom is alot like your MIL. I've been yelling at her lately because she always glares at me and picks him up when he does it. I had to get kinda mean with her. Of course, it's easier because she is my mom, not my husbands. Maybe your hubby can talk to his mom and get through to her. Although, I doubt it is all her fault. It's a phase that will probably go away and come back. My little man seems to do it more when he's tired. Good luck :)

Tara - posted on 05/17/2010

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I have the same problem with my daughter. She acts like this when she spends any length of time with her dad because he lets her get away with murder!

Kathleen - posted on 05/17/2010

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dont worry about the neighbors. if you think they are going to get angry, go to them and tell them you have a toddler and are trying to get through this stage, most likely they will understand and leave you alone about it. But def talk to your husband and MIL about how they handle her screaming, if she gets away with it in one place, she will always think she can get away with it wherever she goes. and she will continue to push her limits until she realizes that you are not giving in. give your MIL an ultimatum, tell her that if she wants to spend time with her, she needs to follow oyur rules, i know that is hard to do, but its for your own sanity (and for the best of your daughter)

Kim - posted on 05/17/2010

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My son screamed a lot when he was that age. It was usually because he couldn't have something that he wanted. i tried time out with my son but it didn't work well until he was a little older because he wouldn't stay there. Instead, I put a baby gate on his bedroom door and baby proofed his room. Whenever he screamed i would put him in his room and set a timer for 1 minute. I then asked him if he was ready to come out. Also putting words to her feelings might help, "I know you are mad and that's ok. If you want mommy to play with you, you need to use an inside voice." Then you need to follow through when she becomes quiet and give her the attention she needs.

Kayla - posted on 05/17/2010

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no she doesn't talk yets she knows some words but i have taught her sign she knows please, thanks you, more, thristy and to point at what she wants. my husband used to think that if she screamed liked that she was tired but now it happens even if she sleeps 12hrs and takes a 2 hr nap. and if i do feed her she usually ends up throwing her food on the ground. its just really frustrating.

Michelle - posted on 05/17/2010

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Is she talking yet, most children tend to scream when they don't know how to get their point across eg. eat sleep wet that sort of thing. Try and see if she is giving you any cues when she screams....my daughter screams if we aren't paying attention and she is hungry the scream gets our attention then she gets to eat which was the problem.

Stephanie - posted on 05/17/2010

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well, firstly you need to be firm with your MIL about what she can and cannot do and when. because she's undermining your parenting decisions. nip this in the bud now, if you can. It helps if you and hubby are on the same page about this.

secondly, don't worry about your neighbors. at least not right now. :) right now just focus on handling your kidlet. Kids sense stress and such.

so, besides wanting attention (which isn't bad, just needs to be bit more on your terms than hers...), why is she screaming? Is she asking for food or a change or is she tired? if so, try to fix these problems before they come up, so she's not fussing so much.
if it's just attention, then I'd suggest keeping her busy. so she doesn't have the chance to fuss about it. i know that doesn't always work and sometimes she's just gonna have to get over it. which means she may scream from time to time. that's ok. just do what you've been doing and ignore it. :)

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