help with difiant 3 year old!!! im at my wits end!

Kasandra - posted on 03/05/2009 ( 2 moms have responded )




my 4th child is going to be 3 next month. he is so defiant i am not sure what to do with him. it started getting really bad a few months ago. for example, i would tell him to sit in his chair for dinner and he would tell me no and run away. ive tried time outs, ive tried standing him in the corner, ive tried sending him to his room. ive even gone as far as letting him decide for himself when it is time to do things thinking that he is learning that he can make deciscions...

i think the worst part is that he does this defiance thing when it comes to changing his diaper too. i have tried potty training in the past and he wasnt ready for it. he was afraid of the potty and refused to sit on it. so i have waited. every so often i will try to get him to sit on the potty. the only thing that works is giving him candy while he is on it. but then he will sit on it just to get the candy... and i mean over and over. he will sit, get candy, get up put his pants on, take them off and sit again wanting candy.... i cant be doing that the way he wants it! when i change his pants it is a fight and he tells me "my poop and pee" "put my poop back!!!" and he is really upset about it. i just dont know what to do.

ive tried letting him watch me go to teh bathroom, and dad too. we have waved bye bye to moms "presents to the potty" and he thinks that is really neat, but wont put anything in there himself!

im afraid that part of my problem is that his older brother (1 year older) is autistic and no where near potty training, so he seems to think that if emmett doesnt have to do it he doesnt either.

im open to any and ALL ideas... i am at a loss. we also have a 2 month old new baby, so maybe this is adding to anthonys issues, but the issues started a couple months before the baby got here, so i dont know!


View replies by

Simone - posted on 03/05/2009




Hello, I have a 3yr little girl and at 2yr little boy and I do smack them when they are naughty but my little girl is very intelligent (Gift is the docotrs word) and she started to tell me when she wanted to do things so I let her be the boss of the day and I acted like her and it only lasted a few hours because she isn't big enough to make breakfast so she needed me.

Maybe if you try ignoring him when he is naughty and start a game with your other two children and make him come to you, telling him that you only want to play with children that behave themselves, my little girl hates this and trys her best to be good.

I hope this helps.

Mikayl - posted on 03/05/2009




Hello,  I dont know if you and your husband approve of this but ever herd of the saying "spare the rod spoil the child"?    I'm not saying that you have to abuse your child but sometimes it takes a shock for your childeren to listen to you. 

Potty Training-  make him actually use the potty before he gets candy.  Then when he does go in the potty for real, make a hudge deal about it, dance around the house with him yelling out "you went potty in the big potty!!! you went potty in the big potty!!" then give him the candy.

And I think you should do yourself a favor and give your husband the childeren, go out side,  AND BREATHE!!!!   Its okay!!!

Good Luck!!!

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