hi i have a question for one of my friends mother in law accepts grandaughter#2 but not #1 loves her but#2 is blood #1 is accepted but not fair in whole fam ??

Caylynn - posted on 10/14/2012 ( 3 moms have responded )

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#2 is loved and talked about and wanted to come over more often than #1 but not by their daddy with their daddy life is perfect but its a little bothersome and irritating any responses

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Jeannette - posted on 10/15/2012

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My daughter was 7 when this all started not quite 4 but it has been a process.To ease the situation I started taking my daughter to do special things that she liked at the times of my inlaws visits. It was our special time. She actually liked and looked forward to it. I am the one who had to make the situation better because she is my child and only I can ease her emotions. The hard part was for me to accept the fact my daughter wouldn't have the bond I wished she possibly could have. It wasn't exactly how I envisioned family time, but it works.

Caylynn - posted on 10/15/2012

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yea i know its irritating because she try and try and trys and yes you and her situation are exactly the same but the daughter #1 is 4 yrs old

Jeannette - posted on 10/15/2012

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I went through this a few years ago with my own daughter and my husbands family. I have a teenager and he has a 10 year old son with his ex of 10 years, him and I also have 2 sons within our marriage. I struggled with the same emotions. I felt for my daughter because as much as my mother-in-law tried to treat her the same, it was easy to see she didn't have the same bond with my daughter as my mother-in-law had with the boys. That's alright though because my daughter has learned in blended family's its not always "fair". The situation was new to me and I didn't know how to Handel my emotions at first and I think I could have handled the situation with a little more finesse.

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